You are here

Why are you calling?

Lady.Tremaine's picture

Sorry to blog hog but I'm having a very weird week and BM keeps calling DH and I'm frustrated.

So last week BM takes the kids to the dentist ( DH got them dental a few months ago) both have extreme cavities. Want to guess why? Both were using bottles until 5 or 3 respectively. So anyone with a dumb spouse allowing that- make it stop at your home.

I digress. SD7 literally is missing at least a day of school a week due to feeling sick. I understand with all that's going on this sounds presumptuous but the kid missed over 50 days of school last year. She's not ill and plays BM like a god damn fiddle. So when BM pulls SD7 out of school yet again for 2 more days to recover from the dentist.. ok I'm mad. DH is mad. When she comes over I flat out tell the kid to study up so she isn't the oldest first grader. 

BM also enjoys not co-parenting in any way shape or form. Because the kids " already have a support system". Unless they actually need something then suddenly ... Where did that support system go?

So BM has called 3 times already this weekend as SD7 has a molar coming in and it's painful... Ok? Why are you calling. There's literally no point. When the kids have a headache here we give them meds and they lay down. We don't call BM to tell her. If things are absolutely bad DH texts it so BM knows before drop off. 

I honestly think SD pressures BM to call my husband. Either that or she just wants to call? Disengagement is calling to me like a siren song. I don't want to care about these kids as much as I do.

I told DH no kids this weekend. This isn't our weekend and I don't think a seven year old gets to decide at random where to be. Also if she is in pain she needs to rest and stay at BMs

Let's see how that plays out. I've never actually hated someone I've known personally but BM is getting up there.

Sorry for the vent   I needed to put it somewhere

Comments

notsurehowtodeal's picture

He is getting something from all the contact. He likes the drama or the attention or something. There is no reason for that much contact, he is choosing to let it happen and he is choosing to respond.

tog redux's picture

Agreed. If he didn't, he could let it go to voicemail, or demand that she text or email so he can see whether he needs to respond. Or, you know, quit worrying about the "worst case scenario" happening, when it's highly unlikely it will.

Livingoutloud's picture

I think you have DH problem, not skids or BM problem. Of course BM is insane but you aren't married to her. I'd take it all to your DH and demand drastic changes and fast or I'd be gone 

strugglingSM's picture

She missed 50 days of school last year?! How has the school district not intervened on this one?!

Livingoutloud's picture

In our district parents would have to face judge and courts. We file first level of truancy after I think 10 days. Then interventions start etc No way no how one can be gone 50 days and parents aren't in legal trouble (unless child has legitimate long term illness). Also I don't understand why dad not demanding more custody or full custody to ensure his children actually attend school 

tog redux's picture

Isn't this the same guy who allows a 7-year-old to decide when to visit? The kid is in charge of herself, there are no parents in this scenario.

Lady.Tremaine's picture

It was not in a row so I'm unsure if that matters. Still these are the formative years and ... Just yikes and head into wall.

Lady.Tremaine's picture

I agree in regards to DH and BM being dumb as a bag of rocks. DH always says we can't do much to keep kiddo in school. But I'm getting angry out of love. I hate it . I wish I did not care.

Plus with everything going on I'm the one like "honey let's get the laptop out and have SD7 do some school exercises ( free ones that companies have online)

DH is hoping the law tells BM to stop but I don't want this kid (youngest I really do not think she'll do this to as she's BMs golden child- heck she's had oldest miss days and visit the youngest at school)

I so need to disengage from all this BS. I don't like caring this level but those kids deserve better. If I had a kid I know it's easy to say "I wouldn't do this" but I wouldn't. DH and I have been debating a kid and while I'm unsure if I'd be a perfect mom.. I don't think DH will ever be a decent dad. I see moments he does awesome but just... If I was in his shoes while I'm not sure what I'd do...

Arghhhh everything guys. Just sometimes everything at once gets to you. No matter how petty