Some odd backstorysle
Well I'm sad and angry so I figured this would be the time to give a tell all and to scare younger members out of this situation. It's long but I promise to paragraphs to not kill our eyeballs collectively.
Young lady T got married at 19 after being engaged after high school to someone she started dated 2 months prior.
Lady T had a husband 7 years older and while abusive and terrible both parties tried to make it work. It flat out didn't and lady T got screwed as she tried to stick to the divorce decree while ex just took all he could
Well as any savy divorcee will tell you "let it be'.
So I moved to a studio and made moves on a boss who had just been fired ( we knew each other for a month, company was an awful h hole so him getting fired was due to him standing up for clients getting refunds ) asked him to a bar . I had to spell out I was interested.
Nothing happened that day but we texted constantly. We were very different. What I thought would be a one night stand turned into a relationship
He moves into my studio eventually. He teaches me to drive . He gets a job Downton. I start working for a friend of his a few miles away.
Every Sunday he sees his kids at their old home. We had been seeing each other a lot as he basically moved into my studio. He would spend days with them I wished he spent with me but at that point it wasn't an issue.
Well months later after he officially moved in he brings his eldest ( 4 at the time ) over . We go to a playground. I'm dad's friend. Basically everything you are supposed to start off with. Kid spends 3 hours and he takes her home
Well BM had a variety of problems and demanded to meet me. Basically I went to their old house to meet her . She left. We played with the kids. And then she decided to bring her sister over to gawk at me as well.
Fun fact: I didn't realize how bad this was as I was naive. In retrospect and how my DH reacted yea- quite uncalled for. She also ( from old texts) decided to dub him a pedophile. Even knowing now how she frankly parents like a ten year old
So BM out of nowhere decides to move with the kids. Lawyers are consulted and the fact of the matter is no one wants to pay 10k on a bet to keep her
Fights insue.( I'm not involved luckily) and they make a cross country visitation statement written amongst each other.
This whole thing goes ass up as first time we are there his youngest doesn't even recognize him as dad. His eldest has to cosleep and was a typical 4 year old. Whatever can't get worse right
But nope. The visit goes back home and instead of the kid ( yeap youngest stayed with her mom at a hotel) sleeping on the futon for our place I bought for her she sleeps on my bed with my future DH. This was before steptalk because back then I didn't know how messed up it was
I bought the whole family besides BM water resort tickets. Only eldest SD came and I had to sleep on my own for a room a paid for. Instead of having alone time with my DH he had to sleep on the pull out and also run out for BOTTLE for milk for a 4 year old. Many other "fun" stories happened there
The absolute worst was when I booked a hotel by the kids and paid for. Our initial flight got cancelled so because of the delay I paid for an extra night so he could have more time with his kids. I spent those nights on the pull out while he slept with eldest even though I paid for the extra room and he didn't have to pay for our flight at all.
In retrospect I'm pretty pissed he was so ok about all of this. But he did get better. He learned that I'm his wife not his money bag. When we took eldest to Disney she slept on the pull out alone. So he's getting there.
I have constant battles with DH regarding how he currently handles the ex handling the kids . But you what? I'm going to remember lady T sleeping on that pull out and say " not today Satan"