Some beacon of hope
So last weekend went off awesome. BM does not have a bath at her home so I got the kids bath bombs and they loved it. Both were gracious and in a great mood all weekend.
We visited DHs family for a bit and went home where we watched space jam 2 ( which was awful) but we had an amazing time. My DH took pictures of us dancing around when the movie got boring as I wore my parody bugs bunny kigurimi ( basically large saggy pajamas )
Besides the kids deciding that I needed to eat carrots which I made them as well because healthy snack, it was a great time. They both declared me the best step mom ever. They talked to me about anything and everything as the movie was boring even to a 6 and 8 year old.
I am very afraid everything will backfire.
But on a positive/negative ask for advice : I have a lot of Disney points from a credit card. I was initially saving them up to take us , the stepkids, his sister bil and dad , and my mother to Disney. We live a little over an hour away so we'd get a vacation home etc to do so. With my mother's recovery being very long term to the point that even if she fully recovered my points will expire I approached DH about just taking the kids to animal kingdom ( they only ever go to magic kingdom with their mom , my husband hates Disney but likes the concept of kids learning things) and with the extra points just grabbing food. I would not have DHs family as honestly if my mom isn't there the idea sucks. They aren't bad folks but the original idea was just for some of my family to meet his.
Would I be a jerk to just have a small trip with the kids without his family? I did bring it up to my sister in law a long time ago as it would be good for the kids to spend more time with them I just really don't want to manage them on top of the kids without the support of my disneycentric mom. I hope someday I can have a trip there with her but we don't even know if she'll fully regain speech again. Or movement.