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Is BM getting less clingy?

Lady.Tremaine's picture

Or is this just an experimental situation? That is the question.

So after our last weekend of calling the kids on their cells constantly. To the point of waking one of the girls up Sunday. Yea that was fun. DH actually finally grew a pair and asked for some courtesy during our time. Meaning the kids should be spending their time with him well- with him. Not calling her because she asked them to.

To preface my husband went on a business trip last Sunday returning Wednesday. Before that he was very sick and we decided not to have the kids over since they left as we didn't want to get them sick. Basically it's been nearly two weeks since the kids got to see their dad and BM got any alone time with her "surfer instructor"

Since the kids came over there has not been a single call or text. The kids and DH went to the beach over an hour ago and I poked their phones and no new texts or calls. 

So either

A. Being optimistic she's learned boundaries are a thing. It got so bad 4th of July weekend  that the kids spent something like 4 hours on the phone in total. FaceTime. Our house is small so DH and I would go on the small porch. Then BM tried to use "oh well I call so much because they are lonely ". Child . Catcher. We are on the porch because we are trying to give ourselves and the kids privacy


B. She honestly needed the private time and will go back into non sense BS once she's had some grown up girl bonding time with whatever her fling is labeled.


Place your bets. I'm going B. Because I'll guess by 9 or so tonight she'll have texted the kids. She asks a barely 6 and a  8 year old to keep their phones everywhere with them which is ... Very stupid? In certain situations like the beach where they are now or the park it's possible to destroy a smart phone. She's a gem that BM.





Lady.Tremaine's picture

Ope. Spoke too soon. She texted the eldest 15 minutes ago then called the youngest five minutes later.

The nice thing about semi disengagement is just laughing because I know she probably called my DH who keeps his phone in the car at the beach. And will mute her calls when driving. Meanwhile I sip my wine and maybe I'll watch space jam with the kids if she doesn't manage to butt her way in.

Is it bad that we take away activities if they go on the phone with their mother for over an hour ? It's realistic as they need to be asleep by 11 and that means one less hour for movie night.

ndc's picture

Why not just take the phones and put them in a drawer except for a designated window for a phone call?  6 and 8 year olds don't need phones.  

Lady.Tremaine's picture

Honestly? Once we get parental blocks on them and a larger house I won't care. I am semi disengaged so the only thing bothering me is gaslighting. She is the reason we give the kids more space as when she calls we do the best we can to give privacy. She however does the opposite if my DH calls them when she's there. Answering questions for them. Yet she managed to make the eldest cry to us that she needs us to not be outside so much. Even though we are outside so much because of BM . 

I call this semi disengagement for myself. I love my step daughters but only DH and the kids can figure out the phone thing. We've come to an agreement once we a house house ( this is a loft style condo) phone calls with mom stay in their room. 

The parental block thing is up to DH to set up. I'm not going to lift a finger regarding the phone situation. That's on her for buying them and for him allowing them here  

JRI's picture

As I read your post, I was glad there were no cell phones back in the day when we were raising our kids.  Just an added thing you have to worry about with kids now.  I could see our BM calling intrusively, too.