Really DF, are you seriously jealous of my blog?
So last night I spent a little more time than usual on the laptop, because I was hammering out my last blog about BM and SD's field trip to the pawn shop (nice!), which came complete with a burned out ghetto tour and a complimentary crack rock (I'm KIDDING, obviously), and of course DF was curious to know what I was doing. Now I realize at this point I probably never should have said anything about it, and silly me for thinking DF would be mature enough to be okay with the fact that I had started writing a blog, and that I would prefer if he didn't read it. It's not that he CAN'T read it, I'm not hiding anything from him, and there is really nothing in here that we don't discuss together or at least with our counselor (yes, DF and I are in counseling, more on that subject to follow in a future blog). Maybe someday I'll show it to him, but for right now it's MY private thing that I'm using to help ME process all of the ways that MY life is changing as a result of this relationship and this child.
DF threw a hissy fit!!! I told him I don't see how it's any different than if I were to take to writing in a journal or a diary and he wanted to read that. He thinks it IS different because a journal or diary I wouldn't share with anyone, and a blog I'm sharing with whomever chooses to read it. Right, but none of the readers actually know who we are, and I take some comfort in knowing that I can vent and share anonymously, without judgement, to people who are in similar situations and can understand where I'm coming from. I don't see how it's any different than him going out with his group of "guy friends" that I've never met (they attend events together, travel together, go camping together, meet up several times a year for dinner) and WILL never meet because that's his outlet to "vent" about me, and no he won't tell me what they talked about because those are his private thoughts. He has many other friends that I have met, and he doesn't exlude me from much of his life, but he does have a couple of things that are for him and him alone, like that particular group of friends, and anything he does with them.
Cool! You have your friends, I have my blog (which I choose because none of my friends are in this situation and they don't really understand what I'm talking about most of the time), everyone's happy. Fabulous!
Pfft yeah right! I know this conversation isn't over......
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Comments
Yes, this site is very
Yes, this site is very helpful to a man, especially if he does not know what you women go through. I learn quite a few things from step talk. I don't have any step kids but my fiance went from no kids to 3 stepkids and now pregnant. It's also entertaing at times. Lol
Sometimes I would love if DH
Sometimes I would love if DH knew about my blog and would read it and other times it's good to have my own place to vent without him thinking I am a horrible person. Good for you for being honest though.
This is your blog? It's
This is your blog? It's fantastic!!! Loving from single career girl to stepmother of three, that is totally my story too, but I only have ONE to deal with!!! Wow great job Stepmonster!!!
My SO thinks this is a great
My SO thinks this is a great site for me. It is a place to seek advice, vent my frustrations. My friends cannot relate to the whole step mom world so, I am here with all of you, and I am very glad I found this site.
He is reading Step Monster right now... I want him to understand what it is like to be the outsider looking in on the 3 of them. They don't mean for me to be the outsider but when there is 3 of them and one of me....well you know the rest.
My daughter is grown and in grad school, when she is home I am sure they feel like the outsiders sometimes...it goes with the step world teritory.
Is this the same stepmonster
Is this the same stepmonster as the comment mentions above? Love it!!! I may have to get DF to start reading as well......
Not at all. Wednesday Martin
Not at all. Wednesday Martin is the author of Stepmonster, which is an AMAZING book that we all recommend. I just happened to start my blog before discovering this book.
Of course we all do. But here
Of course we all do. But here you can say what ever is on your mind, and sometimes I am angry or just sick of the skids and their crazo mother. He cannot understand that. How can he, my daughter is grown and gone.
Also when Sunday comes and they go back to crazo I am so glad, I am ready for them to leave and it just be the two of us. I don't want to hurt him by saying that. I know he hates taking them back to her house and he misses them. Heck I miss my daughter and she is grown and in grad school.
It is so good to have a place to say....YOUR CHILD IS DRIVING ME CRAZY AND I WANT THEM TO GO BACK TO THEIR MOTHER!
I totally get this, as last
I totally get this, as last week my SD was full of attitude all week long and I couldn't WAIT for her to go back to BM so I could enjoy my weekend in peace! Would I ever say that to DF about his precious, hell no! Was I tripping over myself to get to the phone and make the call when she asked in the morning if she could go back to BM's early, of course!!! What a WONDERFUL idea SD let's see what BM is up to today, shall we? I can drop her off right away BM, no problem!!!
I love not having to censor
I love not having to censor anything. Some of you may think that I am a horrible person from the things that I post in this uncensored spew from the darkest corners of my mind with respect to BM (whorelady) and SS (homeless druggie).
But I am not like this in real life AT ALL. I have many, many friends. I don't think a one of them would EVER guess my blod was me as I am never like this (so mean) in real life. I don't want to be a bad person even to you all but it does help to just say how HORRIBLE I think the ex and the SSs are.
UPDATE: DF actually called
UPDATE: DF actually called me this morning and APOLOGIZED for being an ass about the blog - I am SHOCKED, but must admit that he's been doing this more and more frequently since we started seeing our counselor a couple of months ago. He said he totally understands why I enjoy this outlet and it just threw him for a loop at first. I told him I would delete it if it was a cause of concern for him, and he told me he is 100% on board and supports whatever I decide to do, and only hopes that if I do continue blogging I will also continue to maintain our anonymity. No problem babe, and thank you for being awesome again!!!
I did share some little
I did share some little tidbits with him, and I've been watching other posts on the site for awhile now and sharing some of that with him. We actually got some great tips on getting SD to bed in a timely fashion (the night time routine has always been an issue in our house, unfortunately) from one of the blogs I was reading on here and started implementing them a couple of weeks ago. Working like a charm so far! He definitely understands the value of READING other blogs, he just didn't realize that I was interested in writing my own. SURPRISE HONEY!!!
I also think the "secret friends" thing is a little strange, especially since my own friends rarely organize events that are for "girls only" and DF is almost always included in whatever plans we do make. Whether he chooses to participate or not is left up to him and the schedule with SD, and the fact that he does specifically exclude me from this ONE group has been a source of contention in our relationship. I include him in every single aspect of my life, and it bothers me that he doesn't do the same. But, much like with BM, I pick my battles, and this one just isn't a priority right now.