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A little OT - DH lost his job

ladybug3's picture

On top of all of the stress DH and I are under because of BM's crazy sh-t and going to court, DH got fired from his job on Friday. Long story short he had to go to the hospital on Tuesday and he told his boss, boss was fine with it. DH goes back to work on Wednesday, boss doesn't say anything. Thursday was the holiday, and then when he went to work Friday boss let him work for four hours before sending him home. 

Apparently his boss was waiting for him to give him the doctor's note from the hospital, even though the whole time DH has worked this job he has never needed to give a doctor's note. He's taken three or four sick days while working here and his boss has never cared. Not sure if there's more to the story but that's all I know.

So now we're scrambling. It'll probably pay less than the one he had, which I know will look bad when we go to court. The judge will probably think he took a pay cut to pay less child support. The last time DH changed jobs it took him two months to find a new one, and we don't have that kind of time this go around.

Comments

SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture

Ugh! That’s awful! I’m so sorry. Hopefully the Biowh0re doesn’t successfully use this against him.

tog redux's picture

He should file for unemployment. If he was never given any information regarding the need for a note for sick days, he may have a case. 

ladybug3's picture

Unfortunately the handbook says he needs to provide a doctor's note, but his boss told him the opposite the three or four times he had to take off work. 

ndc's picture

I'd file anyway and if it's raised argue that the course of conduct was inconsistent with the manual.  It's hard to imagine, if your DH is otherwise a good employee, that an employer would fire him without giving him an opportunity to produce a note.  Decent (and intelligent) employers don't try to trap their good employees (by not asking for the note right away and giving an opportunity to get one) so they can fire them, so I'm not sure what's wrong with your DH's manager.  

Good luck.

ESMOD's picture

I'm fairly certain that his employer would have to ask for the note and he would have to refuse.  Unless he has multiple unexcused absences...or other work issues.  No one gets fired for forgetting to turn in a note..

They get fired for being asked and refusing to get one to turn in.  

I would not be happy with this explanation from your dh. It doesnt make sense... unless he did not go to the hospital as he claimed.

Petronella's picture

Esmod, you are making so many good points. I feel bad for the OP. I used to be married to a man who lost jobs and lied to me about it, and it was soul destroying.

Capricorn63's picture

My ex husband had 7 jobs in 21 years of marriage.  He was fired from 5 of them.  It actually destroyed our marriage.  When I began making about 90K a year, he looked at my 12yo son and said "it was not important that he work any longer, it is only important that mommy work".

When I overheard him tell that to my youngest son, something in me snapped.  It was the straw that broke the camels back.

ladybug3's picture

I went to the hospital with him, so I know that part is true. His chest pains (the reason we went to the hospital) were also valid. I do worry that his boss asked him to produce a note and he said no, which got him fired. Or that he's had other issues at work he hasn't told me about that led up to this. We used to work at the same job so I know he's a very good employee, but the job he just lost was much harder than the job we did together. 

futurobrillante99's picture

I'm sorry to hear your sad news, but I hope there is some kind of silver lining and good outcome from it.  Maybe he will find a better job this time.

ladybug3's picture

Thank you! His job was extremely physical, and in FL heat it was starting to get to the point where he would need a new job anyway. I just didn't want it to be like this lol.

Siemprematahari's picture

Hope he finds a good paying job ASAP. Sending positive vibes! Although this door closed another is open, so have faith that its all in his favor.

ladybug3's picture

Not at all. He's only missed a few days due to doctor's appointments. He's never done a no-call no-show, and he's always early to work.

ESMOD's picture

Um.... why couldn't your DH provide a doctor's note?  I mean, it would seem that he could get one even after the fact from his physician right? 

His DR should easily be able to provide this to his employer...

 

Petronella's picture

Yes, why not get a doctors note just to be on the safe side?

Was DH on a PIP or something, or with a history of absenteeism?

notsurehowtodeal's picture

There must be more to this story. It sounds like DH was fired for not volunteering the paperwork. Surely if he was asked for it, he would have given it to his boss. If Dh went to the hospital, he has paperwork from the visit proving he was there. A doctor would not need to write a special note - the discharge paperwork would show why and when he was there. Did DH even try and talk to his boss about it?

shamds's picture

He should still be able to submit this and sur for wrongful dismissal as it won’t favour the company to fire him if they had clearly inconsistent policies and then normally its 3 strikes before you are fired..

i was fired once from a new job from a company that allowed sick people with the widespread flu and virus into work in the call centre infecting everyone because they needed staff to handle calls. I got it really bad and for 1.5 months was on and off from work providing a medical cert. they didn’t even state if you are sick again you will be fired, they just said vaguely you shouldn’t be sick this bad and i stated that majority of people in call centre were and they did nothing to provide a workplace epidemic 

i took them to a tribunal as they refused to keep me when it was clear they weren’t fair. The head of the tribunal claimed they offered me my job again and i said I already have a new full time job i enjoy and he said why not take 2 jobs (huh 2 full time jobs from an arsehole company that even refused this as an option when its their fault i even was put in this situation?), i said no thanks and he talked to this company (assumedly to tell them to get their shit together)

grace8205's picture

Can he file wrongful dismissal with the labour board? Not sure if there is any protection for workers down south for that. If he was never required to give a doctor's note before then it would not be required now, even if it's in the handbook. Most they should have done is right him up a warning.  Does he get any severance pay?

justmakingthebest's picture

I handle the HR for my company. I always ask for doctor notes, I don't expect them to magically appear. File for unemployment. If this is really the only thing, he hasn't had any write ups about doctor note SPECIFICALLY, he has a really good chance at getting it,

Even if he has write ups for other items in the handbook, if he hasn't hadn't written counseling on doctors notes, he should get it.

Livingoutloud's picture

He isn’t being honest. No one gets fired for not demonstrating doctors note PRIOR to being asked for. Contract means that he has to produce a note when asked. He had other issues at work (that he didn’t disclose to you) and that’s why he got fired. I’d demand honest explanation. Losing one’s job is bad but lying is way worse . I’d not tolerate lying 

notsofast's picture

Is this the same guy that's lying about smoking again to you or am I getting my posters confused? 

ladybug3's picture

He was very honest with me about this job the whole time he had it. He told me every time he messed up on the job. One time he got into an accident (he's a driver) and he ended up with a three-day suspension. He told me everything, didn't even try to hide it. Sometimes I believe he's completely honest with me because he tells me the nitty-gritty even when it makes him look bad, but other times I get a nagging suspicion that there's more to the story. I just can't figure out what. 

ladybug3's picture

He worked there almost nine months. I think he's had three or four jobs the last 10 years. 

Capricorn63's picture

Sounds to me like he is not a very high quality worker.

You may end up with a cronic unemployed husband like I had.  Be careful.

ladybug3's picture

Yes, he's the one who lied about smoking again. I'm seeing a pattern and it's super concerning to me. 

ctnmom's picture

And I know this will sound hateful, but this sounds like they asked him to take a drug test and he declined. Grounds for dismissal in FL. I'm a supervisor but not HR, I can tell you that if we need a Dr note, the employee can take a few days to get it from thier Dr if they didn't get it at the time of the visit. 

Livingoutloud's picture

That’s likely. Or he received several warnings re unexcused absemces or other issues. In some places 3 write ups would cause a dismissal. 

ladybug3's picture

I don't think DH got fired anymore. After reading all of the responses I think he quit. He very well may have gotten sent home like he said he did, but at the most that's a write-up and not a termination. He was sitting out on the couch while I was thinking about this, playing video games on his phone. So I walked out there and said, "Did your boss ever write you up?" He said, "No." I said, "So then you didn't get fired, you quit." He didn't say anything, he just stopped playing video games and started looking for jobs. 

So he did quit. I'm so tired you guys. He knows we can't pay our bills unless he has a job. We were making about the same amount of money, so him quitting cut our income in half. The fact that he was sitting on the couch doing nothing about finding a job scares me to death. He's been employed for our entire relationship and never given any indication that he enjoys being a bum. If he doesn't get a job soon and our debts start piling up I may have to leave this situation. I can't handle this.

beebeel's picture

This pattern of lying would have me packing my bags (or his. I'm guessing he moved in with you?)

Capricorn63's picture

unemployment is off the table.  I am telling you, my ex husband lost 5 out of 7 jobs due to firing.  He was the cronic cause of all of our financial stress.  Because he kept failing us financially, I kept seeking promotions and higher wages to protect the family.

Do not fall into the trap.

ladybug3's picture

Since DH and I have been together he hasn't quit a job like this. He's quit two jobs since I've known him because he found better ones. He did the whole two weeks notice you're supposed to do. He's never walked off a job. 

I just graduated from college and got a decent job doing what I majored in. I won't be up for a promotion for a while, and until I have a few years under my beat I won't be able to go somewhere else a get a better job. If he can't get it together we're f*cked. 

Livingoutloud's picture

I am sorry to hear that. He quit job without having another one lined up is alarming. He needs to look for a job. Hugs. 

ESMOD's picture

You need to get to the bottom of this.  He didn't answer you.  You deserve an honest response.  If he quit.. WHY did he quit?  Because it is much harder to find a job when you don't have a job.  He needs to be honest with you on this.

I would go so far as to give him an ultimatum.. come clean about this job situation or you are leaving.  I would also want to know if there is any way to beg for his job back.. tell his boss he was under stress...???  (based on getting in an accident in their vehicle.. they may not e up for that though).

 

GrabitAndGo's picture

I couldn't deal with a man who was so fiscally irresponsible he would quit a job before he had another lined up.  That's a new level of stupidity.  I've had jobs I absolutely HATED, but I stuck with them until I could find something better.  Being able to eat and pay bills trumps unhappiness sometimes.  

Evil3's picture

"He's been employed for our entire relationship and never given any indication that he enjoys being a bum."

OK, if he's been unemployed for your entire relationship, then he does enjoy being a bum. Or there are at least employment issues. If your SO has suddenly quit, it sounds like he had a run-in with someone, perhaps his boss, and left.

My ex was like this. He was chronically unemployed. It was such a huge burden for me, because I had to pay for everything. I couldn't count on him to pull his weight and I felt used. I ended up leaving him because chronic unemployment and not doing anything about self-examination to determine what the issue is and fix it, was a deal-breaker for me. I remember sleeping deeply for about 12 hours a day with two-hour naps for about a week after I kicked his ass out, because I was recovering from the stress and exhaustion of carrying the load and being totally stressed out over what debt collector was going to come knocking next. It was hell. However, we didn't have kids. I can't imagine putting up with a man like that for the long-term, let alone when kids are involved. My ex used to have the shittiest timing too. He had absolutely no consideration for what was coming up in our lives that made it so that employment was all the more crucial. Your SO sounds the same. He likely had a run-in and thought and acted in the moment and didn't give one iota about the consequences like what will happen to his upcoming case. You will likely have to protect yourself and flee when the debts start piling up. Let him figure it out since he's not bothered by unemployment like you are. I remember losing sleep and literally balling my hands up in fists all the time due to the stress and my ex would sit there happy as a clam and not give one shit. I could not relate to that. I ended up leaving him to HIS self-induced debts. Best decision I ever made.

ladybug3's picture

What I said was that he has been employed, as in, he has had a job for our entire relationship. 

Other than this incident he's been a very responsible guy. The job we worked together when we first started dating was hell for both of us. We were working in fast food, and it was the worst job I've ever had. I ended up getting a good job before he did, but he stuck with it for months before he found a better one. I admire the way he handles things, and like I said he doesn't seem like he enjoys being a bum. So I'm sure something bad did happen at work that he doesn't want to tell me about. 

Capricorn63's picture

He still has a pretty horrible work record of instability.  If each and every job change is not a increase in financial and responsibility, be watchful of a pattern of failure and lateral moves.

ladybug3's picture

He went from a fast food job to an OTR driving job, which is a huge step up. That job was very hard on both of us because he was gone for weeks at a time. He switched from that job to driving a garbage truck, which let him come home every night.

Capricorn63's picture

My ex was also chronically unemployed or under employed.  I was the stable one that had to pick up all the pieces. His lack of care and concern financially for our family made me lose all respect in him.  After 20 years of marriage, I finally saw the pattern and the writing on the wall, I was being taken for granted and used.  I filed for divorce, paid 4+ years of alimony and never looked back.

He lost the best woman he could ever find. He has to live with his consequences.

notsofast's picture

Do they have a no tobacco policy at work?

If he smoked on the job or in the vehicle or whatnot, that could have caused an issue that he doesn't want to tell you about.

ladybug3's picture

No, everyone there smokes. He drove a garbage truck with no A/C so I don't think anyone cared about tobacco smell. 

Livingoutloud's picture

My DH pays spousal support to his ex who was chronically unemployed. She always left jobs claiming that she was treated badly. then she just stopped looking. We now pay her 1k a month. Be careful so you don’t end up paying him at some point 

Capricorn63's picture

I had to pay my ex husband $900 a month for spousal support.  He had started a job 3 weeks before I filed for divorce, I prayed and prayed that a job would come - he was unemployed for 2 years and 2 months.  He also got fired from that job 3 weeks after I filed for divorce ( he worked there 6 weeks total ) blamed it all on me, stress of the divorce.  He was actually padding himself for spousal support.

I had to pay him 4+ years or about $50,000.  Best money I ever spent.

Livingoutloud's picture

We have to pay 8 years total. Almost 100k. We try not to think about it. DH gets upset.

We are doing ok but we could do much better like put that into savings or travel etc Funny thing she still doesn’t work full time. Only few hours at a dollar store. 

She was homeless for awhile because she lived with her sister and was kicked out (for coming on to her sister’s DH) she then moved in with OSD and was kicked out too (for physically assaulting OSD) she was in  a shelter for awhile and we don’t know where she lives now .

She is younger than us yet we both work out butts off and support her. She also asks SDs for money. SDs also work full time like us, they stopped helping her. Enough is enough. SDs take after dad as they always work and tell mom to get a job. 

I cannot stand leeches 

Capricorn63's picture

No respect for an adult who chooses not to work full time at the expense of their partner who usually must then for more than full time to pick up their slack.

Leeches.  Great word for non working adults.

ndc's picture

How is he expecting to pay for court if he doesn't have a job?  To be honest, if he was concerned about his son, he would not have walked off a job without having another one lined up.  If his job was that difficult, he should have discussed it with you before quitting.  And no way should he be playing video games or anything of the sort - he should be spending ALL his free time looking for another job.  If he has time to play video games, he has time to work a minimum wage job while looking for new employment.  You should be very firm in your expectations for him to be employed ASAP.  Responsible men do not quit jobs without having something else lined up.  Especially when they have children to support.

ladybug3's picture

I think he kind of expects my job to float us until he finds another one. Even if I was willing to do that I simply don't make enough. I definitely don't make enough to pay our bills AND our court fees, so if he doesn't find a job soon then court is a no-go.

When I let him know I knew he hadn't been fired, that he had quit, he got off his ass and started trying harder to get a job. He knows exactly how I feel about him being unemployed. 

SS's birthday is coming up at the end of the month and if DH doesn't have a job I'm going to put a very strict budget on what he can buy for SS. Like, "Here's $10 go crazy at walmart" type of budget. If he wants to pretend he can take care of his son without having a job then I'm going to make it really hard for him.

Livingoutloud's picture

Driving garbage truck is usually a nice job (hard but honest work), working for the city typically provides good benefits and pay isn’t too bad, hours are good too. It’s stupid just quitting like this. He wouldn’t even tell his wife why he quit. That’s nuts