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It's not my problem....

ladybug3's picture

It's not my problem... it's not my problem!! 

I've been repeating this over and over in my head since SS5 has been out of school due to the coronavirus. GBM still hasn't gotten her test results back and at this point no one thinks she has the virus. SS has been over to our house one day this week, Tuesday, and he should have done schoolwork online. DH and I don't have wi-fi because when we did have it we never used it, so SS couldn't do his schoolwork. I gave DH some information that could be helpful to him (like how Spectrum is offering free wi-fi for students for 60 days) and left it up to him. I work during the day so thank god I don't have to deal with any of this. DH works at night so SS is all his during the weekdays that he's at our house. 

DH called me at work today to let me know that SS's teacher was going to give us a hotspot device to use during quarantine but DH claimed he couldn't get to the school on time. The teacher said that if he got there by 9:30am he could get the device and she called him at 9:00am to tell him. It only takes 20 minutes to get to the school from our house but like I said, not my problem.

DH then told me that BM texted him that she was going to the school (right after the teacher called DH... weird.) and he immediately asked her if she could pick up the hotspot device. NO. WTF. NO. I have made it super clear that I don't want BM over at our apartment and I didn't think I would need to reiterate that now that we're in a house. But no, BM should not be running errands for you or dropping things off at our house. 

We were able to avoid that fight though because for whatever reason BM told DH she couldn't pick the hotspot device up. So when SS is with us he still can't do any schoolwork and DH told BM he can just do it when he's with her. 

Not my problem... not my problem...

I actually am happier now that I've completely removed myself from trying to take care of SS. Is he going to fail kindergarten? Not my problem. Can he still not recognize all of his letters? Not my problem. Is DH completely neglecting his responsibilities as a father? Not my problem. But this is exactly why when DH mentions having a baby with me I say HELL NO.


SM12's picture

Isn't it wonderful when you stop trying to make up for the lacking parenting skills of DH or BM??   I had to learn that for myself.  I can honestly say I could care less what DH and BM do in regard to their spawn as long as it doesn't affect me.  
my BS is launched and succeeding....I did my job.   

missginger's picture

Why cant she just leave things on the front step? Its not like she will be coming in for a cup of coffee. Smile BM picks up and drops off SD here a few times a month. I could care a less. In fact let her see how pretty my front porch is! (I decorate for hte seasons and holdiays) 

(And thankyou for your repsonse under my blog. I did respond to it)

ladybug3's picture

Because BM is the type to want to come in for a cup of coffee and bad-mouth me while she's there.... there's a strict no-BM policy in my house lol. DH can be a pushover and if she got there and decided to walk in he'd probably let her do it and apologize to me later. 

I saw your response, and you're welcome. I'm sorry you're dealing with that situation, and I'm sorry some people on here can assume things and make judgements when clearly you're not the problem. *hugs*

Iamwoman's picture

Ah! A gust of fresh air was felt when you declared no babies with a man who doesn't parent the one he has. Congratulations on your excellent judgement!

Im so sorry you have to deal with the drama, but glad you are disengaging.