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I feel the stress leaving my body

ladybug3's picture

BM is back to keeping SS from us. She got upset because one night she insisted on calling DH to talk to SS but he had no service. Apparently to her, our sh*tty phone plan is an inexcusable offense. Neither one of us care, we know this is going to end eventually. 

DH just took a 4 hour parenting class and we're filing the last of the paperwork tomorrow. BM is losing her mind blowing DHs phone up with accusations that he's a liar because she didn't believe what he wrote on his financial affidavit. He hasn't responded to a single text and I feel so relieved. It's like the crazier she gets the calmer I am. We're so close to court I cant believe we're finally here. 

Anyone have advice on how to behave in court toward the judge? My DH is a good man and he isn't doing this out of spite, and I'm hoping that works in his favor. BM is asking for back pay on child support for the past two years so we all know what her intentions are. 


Pinkleton's picture

Can she get back pay on child support? In my state, that is not a thing. You can only get it from the day you file for child support. 

ladybug3's picture

In my state you can get back pay on it, but it's only in very special cases. Like if the father is absentee and mom doesn't know who he is, and by the time she finds him it's been three years. So she could get back pay on all the time he wasn't involved or paying child support. But that's not at all what went on in our case, so BM in this situation is just nuts. 

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Dress well, but conservatively - a skirt suit, dress, or blouse/skirt combo. Natural makeup, hair styled. Shoot for well put together, but not rich. This shows respect for the judge and his courtroom. I'm amazed at how some people show up at court in flip flops, capris, tank tops, etc. Your SO should wear slacks, a dress shirt, and tie.

Conduct yourself as you would at a business meeting - calm, serene demeanor. Don't look at BM, don't roll your eyes, huff, or make faces. Keep a polite poker face - unless BM loses her carp, in which case it's fine to show ladylike shock.

tog redux's picture

YOU should not go at all, except to wait in the waiting room.

Your DH should dress nicely (he doesn't need a suit, but khakis and a nice shirt) and just be polite, call the judge "Your Honor", and ABOVE ALL, do not show any anger or annoyance at anything BM says. Just neutral about everything.

I too am amazed by the people showing up in ripped sweats and sneakers.

Harry's picture

And the court.  Do you have a lawer ?  Have all paper work ready in order so you can get it for the judge fast