DH is coming around
I texted DH while he was at work to tell him how much it bothers me when he engages with BM. He texted back and tried to say he only called her to ask to talk to SS, which I already knew was b.s. because he had asked her about the text message she sent. So I told him I couldn't stop him from talking to her, but that every time he did it was degrading our marriage. Then I said it was inappropriate for him to be talking to his ex about anything other than SS.
At that point he called me and immediately tried to change the story. The first time he told me about their conversation, he called her after she texted him to find out what the cryptic text was about. THEN he asked to speak to SS. Once I got mad about it, the story changed to "I called to talk to SS, and then as an afterthought I asked about the text. It wasn't a big deal." I basically ignored him and kept repeating what I had already said. He then tried to play the victim. "Everything is always my fault" is what he said. I said, "No, I didn't say that. It's not your fault she texts you. It's your fault when you respond."
Then he tried a different tactic (he has 3 main ones that I've learned), where he gave me a ridiculous solution to make me look like the bad guy. He said, "Fine, if you don't want me talking to her I won't. About anything, including SS. We won't go to court either, since you don't want me seeing her." I said, "Good." because I know his games are total b.s., and I hung up on him.
He tried to call me back a few times and I let him stew. When I finally picked up he was singing a completely different tune. It was all, "Baby I'm so sorry you got angry, I'm trying so hard to keep this from happening. We can talk about it when I get home, okay?"
I hate being manipulative but he started it. We're going to talk about how he should be handling BM's ridiculous text messages on the weekend because we're both too busy to do it now. I'm going to bring up BIFF. Wish me luck