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Court update

ladybug3's picture

BM is a wacka-do. She told DH that she actually is going to contest the paternity packet, which isn't all that surprising. Then she said she wants SS every other weekend, or one weekend a month, whichever is more convenient for her. Whatever. 

DH and BM were never married, but when SS was born he was given DH's last name. BM is now saying she's going to add to the paternity packet and demand that SS's last name be changed to hers. She said she doesn't want him to have the same last name as someone who "isn't even family," aka me. It's actually insane to me how much she hates me. Or hates the idea of me, whatever.

After being a class A b*tch and saying all that crazy garbage she asked DH to come over this weekend to help her fill out the packet so she could contest him. Absolutely nuts. He told her nah, you can figure it out on your own. 

She has 12 more days to file a response and I seriously can't wait to see what a judge will say to her wanting to change her son's last name out of spite. 

Also, even though she was extremely adament that DH would not see SS until a judge ordered her to hand him over, she needs DH to watch SS tonight. She has to work and her family is tired of picking up her slack I guess. So we'll get to see SS (haven't seen him since June 23rd), and I'm really hoping BM hasn't been filling his head with "Daddy is stupid" talk, because that will be heartbreaking for DH. 


Siemprematahari's picture

She asked DH to come over this weekend to help her fill out the packet so she could contest him. Absolutely nuts. He told her nah, you can figure it out on your own. 

^^^^^^^^On this alone she shouldn't ever be allowed to have this child. If this isn't one of the dumbest things I've read today. You guys have your work cut out for you and I hope you gain strength in dealing with this idiot Dash 1

ladybug3's picture

I honestly believe that BM would be dead right now if it wasn't for her family holding her hand through everything. DH used to hold her hand like that too. 

Thank you for your encouragement, we're going to need a lot of support. 

ladybug3's picture

Yeah, you're probably right. I just hope SS doesn't repeat anything she's said. He's a really sweet kid but mommy is his favorite and we already know that. 

Petronella's picture

Don’t both parents need to sign off on changing the child’s name? Would DH agree to the name change?

Is BM dumb enough to try to claim that your DH isn’t actually the father? 

ladybug3's picture

I'm not 100% sure how that works, but I do know that in the paternity packet DH and I filled out there was a place where you could request to change the child's name. From my research I've learned that's usually always reserved for when one parent gains full custody and they change the child's last name to match theirs. But that isn't happening here, so I highly doubt any judge will let BM have her way. But to answer your other question, DH would never agree to a name change. SS's name has always been the same, there's no reason to change it.

I don't think she's dumb enough to try that. She does make very impulsive, irrational decisions when she's angry, so if this whole court thing doesn't go her way she may try a hail-Mary "But he isn't even the father!!" or something like that. We aren't worried about it though, DH is very confident that she didn't cheat so if she does demand a paternity test it'll just waste everyone's time. I mean, you can look at SS and see he's DH's son lol.

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

Even on the off change that he might not be biologically it might not matter. If he has acted in good faith as the child's father for a good amount of time a court would deem it harmful to the child to remove him as the father without another to replace him. Even then they might still let him maintain leagal parental rights.

The downside is this has also hit men who aren't fathers and don't want parental rights. Some states still force them to continue to finaically support the child even knowing the child isn't biologically their's. In some cases these "fathers" are even denied visitation because it's not HIS child.

ladybug3's picture

That's what I've heard. DH was with BM for four years, financially and emotionally taking care of SS for the last three. They've been broken up for almost two years but he definitely still supports the kid. So yeah, she doesn't stand a chance trying to pull something that stupid. And we know she doesn't have any men in her life (she's a chronic over-sharer), so she has no replacement daddy lined up.

thinkthrice's picture



is paying CS to the GUBM  If so then this conversation should take place:    "Oh, BTW BM, If we change Junior's last name, that means I won't be paying any more CS..."

Will stop her dead in her tracks.



ladybug3's picture

They haven't gone to court over anything so no, he's not paying CS. Also I'm pretty sure changing SS's last name has nothing to do with CS, although that would be nice lol.

ladybug3's picture

Only problem with that is that BM is over-the-top confident. She takes egotistical to a whole new level. She's told DH that by taking her to court she's going to "make him homeless," "ruin his life," and "you'll never see SS again." He doesn't even threaten her, he just tells her like it is, and usually she laughs in his face because she thinks she holds all of the power. I wish she scared easy...

thinkthrice's picture

"Girhippo?" Because the Girhippo did all this and more:

"you're going to be homeless"

"you're going to die lonely"

"you won't be seeing MY kids." etc. etc.


A photo taped to his laptop of the "happy family"  "see what you'll be missing?" 

Hopefully you don't live in a BM-centric area like NY.


ladybug3's picture

That sounds EXACTLY like BM.... gross. 

I live in FL, which is pretty fair for parents, regardless of gender. Especially since BM is shooting herself in the foot with her behavior, I'm pretty confident we'll get 50/50 like we're asking.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Your BM should be the poster child for a campaign to require IQ standards for having children!

tog redux's picture

Why doesn't he just ignore the loon? Why even have a conversation with her about her crazy thoughts?  Anything not related to SS's care directly should be ignored.

shamds's picture

My husbands exwife has always been and still is like this. 11.5 years ago when he divorced her she needed to show how amazing and in demand she was she married an ex high school sweetheart (who left his wife for her) and they married days after divorce was final. 

Menawhile during divorce court she is playing innocent victim and how hard life is and she beeds 50% of everything of hubbys when she wasn’t a wife or mother but yet she was hobagging around. She married while kids were at school and waited for them to get home and says “i just got married and you have a new daddy!” She was hellbent on replacing hubby

she lives off of new hubby, the shitloads of money she stole from my husband (cleared out bank accounts/savings of his) she didn’t even touch it as the cheapskate in her would rather move themselves and 3 kids into her dads cramped home during the divorce

my husband bought a home (in his name still) out of concern for these kids as they had no privacy 

she bragged to hubbys family, friends and coworkers how in demand she was and hubby would grow an old lonely man. Her mentality is to one up people so if someone says they have 1 kids she will say i have 3, if your kid is at university well hers graduated honours. 

She comes from a very poor uneducated family. All this crap she said about hubby tormenting him, well shit backfired on her when he married me a much younger than her (over a decade younger), caucasian, foreign, educated etc and good looking... then she got hold of pics of our kids who being biracial are such a mix and gorgeous that it pains her so much she had to suddenly after kidnapping the girls for almost 6 yrs that she realised geez my kids are older and not on same level as ours and not good looking that she had to yse the girls to manipulate and guilt hubby into child support even for sd23.5 who has had her graduate full time job since 4.5 months ago

thinkthrice's picture

CLONES!!!  almost 14 yrs after the divorce the hate is still strong with the Girhippo despite mooching off StepDaddyBigBucks for the past 9 yrs or so.

Also I am 12 years OLDER than the Gir but look 10 yrs her junior which must really stick in her craw.