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BM wants to be buddy-buddy again

ladybug3's picture

Now that court is over I guess BM thinks she can be BFFs with DH? She tried this once and he completely ignored her, but now she's doing it again. She texted him yesterday a list of places in our city (not even where she lives, OUR city) that still have meat for sale. Then she texted him that hoax text that's been going around about how there will soon be a 2-week mandatory lockdown enforced by the national guard, and she asked him, "Are you ready?" 

He hasn't talked to her at all about our situation, so she's texting him advice about the meat just because she feels like he needs it. We're good, thanks. He ignored every single text and they just kept coming. She didn't mention a single thing about SS or time sharing, she just wants to get friendly with him again and I cannot understand it. He took her to court, she didn't get the time sharing schedule she wanted, and now she's not getting child support either. Why on earth does she want to be buddy-buddy again??? 

The last time she did it was before she had accepted the fact that we were married, but in court I testified that we got married in 2018 AND we just bought a house together. So we're about as committed as it gets. SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN WHY SHE'S STILL TEXTING. 

I told DH to text back middle finger emojis but he's too smart to take my advice lol


OKtoStep's picture

I'm sorry. 

sounds like she's trying to take some control back by telling your DH where to shop and what supplies he needs. Is she a narcissist?

ladybug3's picture

You're so right, she's the most controlling person I've ever met. Like, texting DH where to take SS while on his time ("You need to take him to xyz park, he wants to go there."). 

I can't tell if she's a narcissist or has BPD, but either way we know she has some mental issues. Her mom is a diagnosed schizophrenic, so she might have that. 

Survivingstephell's picture

She's trying to stay relevant. If she doesn't settle down after being ignored for a few weeks, he might have to tell her she's been replaced. Permanently. That he divorced her, not the skids.  That's what it took for my BM to settle down her games.  (In an email also calling out her PAS games) 

ladybug3's picture

It's court-ordered. He asked that they not be able to text each other, but the magistrate wrote down that they should be able to communicate through text, phone calls, and face to face. 

Thumper's picture

Will everyone please take back your privacy?

NO one is ordered to listen to messages, NO one is ordered to read text messages NO one is ordered to hand out your private cell phone number to bm.

Tell bm to stop contacting you unless by way of email for emergencies only.

ladybug3's picture

The court ordered that they be able to stay in contact. DH asked that it be for emergencies only but the magistrate ignored that request. He's allowed to ignore BM, of course, but he can't block her number.

tog redux's picture

If she's only doing a couple texts a day? Keep ignoring. She will likely get angry and threatening next, then on a pity party about how he hates her after that, and then loop back to being nice again.

Ignore it all. It's just her way to get a reaction from him, don't give her any.

If she's texting him all day long, then block her and force her to email.

shamds's picture

1. She’s bored

2. She wants to act smart and knowledgeable 

3. She wants to act like a big help

4. She still wants to be involved in her ex’s life and oretend all the animosity she caused is gone:

this is typical narc 101