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BM is a massive b - updated

ladybug3's picture

Update: BM called DH a "fool" for filing papers to take her to court. She proudly asserted that she has loads of court experience, because she drove her exboyfriend to court nearly every Monday when he was trying to get custody of his daughter. She is completely convinced that this whole thing won't end well for DH, even though she herself said that the mother of her ex's child moved out of state while the court proceedings were going on, and guess what? The judge made her move back. Also, BM still claims she will have nothing to do with court, she won't even show up to the hearing. I don't deal with BM, but even just hearing about the delusional things she says makes me wonder how someone so brain dead could have survived in the world this long. 


She's already told DH he won't get SS4 until a judge orders her to do it. She's said awful things to him about how he abandoned SS13 and how he should just abandon SS4 too since its so easy for him. Tonight she texted DH "Can I ask you something?" We already know from experience that when she starts out like that she's about to say she misses him, or still loves him, or something equally as nauseating. If she wants to say something mean she just comes out and says it. Does she not know when to quit? When she's lost? When her crazy b.s. isn't wanted?

DH blocked her number and we both feel relieved. 


justmakingthebest's picture

Be very careful about your DH blocking her number. Now she can say that he doesn't even care enough about his children to be contacted in case of an emergency. 

Other than that, I completely understand. Ignore, Ignore, Ignore is the best policy. 

However, tell him to not stop requesting to see his son(s). Let her keep telling him no. Let her continue to not let him speak to him on the phone, let her text and email that she refuses. It shows that she is unwilling to co-parent and completely willing to alienate a child. 

Don't give up yet. This is just the beginning. 

ladybug3's picture

Blocking her was just very nice. All the crazy, nasty stuff she's said and he was finally able to cut off contact because she won't let him see his son. He's going to unblock her though, just so we can have more text messages for court. She can't help herself, even when he doesn't respond to her she keeps sending more. 

tog redux's picture

DH should give her an alternate emergency contact number (someone she won't harass) and then direct her to email and block her.

These women gain power with harassment.

CompletelyPuzzled's picture

Honestly, your DH should unblock her.  Let her send all the ceazy messages she wants.  They will help when you go to court.  When DH and BM went to court, we had pages and pages of crazy texts and emails that showed PAS.  It really helped paint a clear picture of the nutjob BM truly is.  Our judge just stopped short of calling her a paranoid nutcase in her ruling.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

This. I'd also try and direct as much contact as possible STRICTLY through text. Can't read a phone call, but texts can be used.

ladybug3's picture

He's going to unblock her, he just didn't want to be bothered for a while. With all the crazy stuff BM says, we will have more than enough ammo to show a judge that she's alienating her son from his father. She told DH this morning when he asked to see SS that he (DH) is never around. She said it doesn't matter if SS ever sees him again. Complete b.s., of course, but now we just have to get her to say that over text. 

Aniki's picture

If he doesn't want to be bothered for awhile, he can either ignore BM or turn off his phone. He doesn't have to be glued to his phone 24/7. My DH often leaves his phone in his workbag or on the nightstand.

justmakingthebest's picture

If she goes through one of her phases of blowing up his phone, just turn it to silent for a while. HE just can't block her. You can (if she has your number), but he can't. 

You can also bait her into repeating herself in a text. Something like "I don't know why you tell me and SS that it doesn't matter if I ever see him again. Of course it matters! I am his father. Just let me have access to our son!" -- she will probably go into a "blow up phase at that point but it would be a good one to have for court. I doubt she would ever say something rational like "I would never say such at thing. You are his father. I have to check schedules and get back to you on a good day for you to pick him up" -- that would make her look like a decent mother.