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BM got her phone fixed so she's texting again

ladybug3's picture

For a long time, DH and I have had to deal with BM constantly texting him dumb things about still being in love with him, wanting him back, yada yada. He has made it perfectly clear that he is MARRIED and that he won't be getting back together with her. She has asked him a lot of questions (that he won't answer), like "Are you happy with ladybug?" "Do you think you'll ever marry her?" and other stuff like that. When she finally accepted the fact that we were married she would ask him all the time why he married me. The first time she asked he said it was because he loves me. Every time she asked after that he refused to answer. She even asks all the time why he wears a wedding band. She's a psycho who doesn't deserve his time. 

For the past two months BM's phone was broken and she couldn't text, and that was the nicest two months ever. Any time she needed to contact DH she had to use one of her sister's phones, and because she doesn't want her sisters to know that she's still trying to get DH back (they hate DH), all of the texts were strictly about SS. But she got her phone fixed a few days ago and the first text she sent him was, "I know why you got married." At 3am. GIVE UP. He didn't text her back. We have no idea what she's insinuating and we really don't care. I just don't understand how someone could be so jealous, egotistical, and stupid that she could actually believe he married me for some reason other than falling in love. 

We've been married for a year and a half and we're still dealing with this. I thought that not being able to text him for a few months would be good for her, but apparently she's had some things she's wanted to get off her chest during that time. She could be thinking that he got me pregnant so we got married, but if that's the case then where's the baby? Neither one of us have much money so he didn't marry me for that. Those are really the only options I can think of. 

Knowing her we'll find out soon enough what her genius theory is about our marriage, and I'm kind of excited to hear it. The dumb b!tch doesn't understand what love is or what a healthy relationship looks like. She's always telling DH "Don't tell ladybug I said this but..." because she thinks any normal relationship is built on lies. Such a basket-case I wish her phone would break again.



tog redux's picture

He should block her and make her send emails for coparenting.  Texting is too easy for her and she's abusing it.

momjeans's picture

He should block her and make her send emails for coparenting.  Texting is too easy for her and she's abusing it.

^ This.

Shut it down, and shut it down now.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: If DH is unwillingly to cut off BM’s source of abusive behavior, then he is a willing participant.

BM engaged in this exact behavior, and you know what? It was the lawyers that suggested BM get blocked and for all communication to go through email. BM will live. I promise. 

Notup4it's picture

Wow, she is relentless. I’m thinking she is taking DH’s silence as a green light? Like he cares about her so doesn’t want to tell her?? Or she thinks the silence is like a game of him saying “keep it coming!”?? 

I understand he is doing it because she isn’t worth the time of day but I don’t think SHE is taking it like that.  I think either he needs to really put her in her place, or needs to tell her he is tired of her inappropriate texts and that he is blocking her. 

Goodluck's picture

There is no reason for the texting back and forth. Tell her to stop right now.

BM: What if there is an emergency asshole..

DH: well if there is a real emergency, I guess your parents will call me OR the police will knock on our door. So make sure your parents or Cliff your brother has my cell phone number for emergency purposes ONLY.

You can email me IF you have concerns about the kids. Other than that stop texting and calling me.

No a Judge will not tell you that YOU have to allow her to text and text and text. You gave reasonable alternatives.


Goodluck's picture

PS. If she abuses the emails---then it is no contact except your lawyer OR the Postal Service.

Lots of x's abuses have caused no contact what so ever. I have read where bm's told Judges to make the dh talk to them...totally back fired on bms.

Cbarton12's picture

Wow she sounds like a real psycho. 

Your DH should sign up for a site like ourfamilywizard or talkingparents so they can exclusively only talk about SS then block her sorry ass from texting. 

notasm3's picture

What he should do is everytime she sends him a crazy "I still love you text" he should reply (with a copy of the original) post to her phone and all the other phones she's been using - you know - just to make sure she gets it.

Winterglow's picture

While you're at it, add her FB account to the phones. Her friends might like to read her texts too.

lieutenant_dad's picture

He should reply with your wedding pictures of you two kissing. Just the picture. No words. To every. Single. Text.

Okay, that's me being petty. Your DH should tell her to stop. If she doesn't, go to email. If she doesn't still, have an attorney send a cease and desist letter. If she doesn't yet again, take her to court to use Our Family Wizard so that all her communications are recorded.

Cooooookies's picture

You tell her to stop.  Tell her he shows you everything then quote things she's sent to him over the years.  I did exactly this after BM2 wouldn't stop for EIGHT YEARS.  It's been radio silence since I messaged her on the 13th of March.  Sometimes, when they know that their dirty little game ISN'T a secret...they stop.


ladybug3's picture

This is probably the best advice. She messaged me on FB once to try and convince me that DH was cheating on me with her... ew. Anyway she told me "secrets" about him that she thought I wouldn't know, which really surprised me. I knew everything she was telling me, so I think you're right. Her dirty little secrets aren't a secret and she needs to know that I know. 

MommyT's picture

You didn’t mention if DH told her to stop texting him? Obviously, this is your first step and the second is to have contact be via email or through a third party. It sounds like this has gone on long enough.

Siemprematahari's picture

You can't reason with Crazy. Block her crazy @ss and get that wizard app that has been helpful to many on this site. It doesn't matter how many times he tells her they are over, any attention is still attention and she gets off on it.

Don't feed the troll!