BM finally got called on her bs
DH and BM had a skype call with SS's principal, vice principal, teacher, and a school counselor. DH and the teacher both agreed on SS's learning and behavioral issues and they requested that he be held back from 1st grade. SS took a test that placed his academic age at 4 year old and he's almost 6, so it would probably benefit him to be held back and helped more.
Then BM chimed in that SS does fine at her house. He does his schoolwork well, doesn't have hardly any issues outside what is considered normal, and she doesn't experience behavioral issues from him. DH didn't say a word because the teacher actually called her on her bs.
"There's no way SS is acting one way in school and at DH's house and a completely different way at your house. You need to accept the fact that SS is struggling and do more to help him instead of ignoring the problem."
When DH told me about it I swear my jaw dropped open. This is a female teacher telling a MOM that she needs to cut the sh*t, and defending DH. Excuse me while I take a minute to process this.
Also I'm very excited because DH decided yesterday that SS needs to see a therapist and get tested for ADHD and any other learning disability he may have. He also wants him to see a therapist for his separation anxiety and other emotional problems. I'm so happy we can finally move things in the right direction for SS.
Per the CO DH can schedule any non-emergency appointments for SS that he deems necessary as long as he informs BM about them. So she can continue to ignore SS's issues if she wants but DH is making sure he gets the help he needs.