Get this!
So DH has CO support of $XX monthly. We live in Canada, and up here there's a governing program called Maintenance Enforcement (ME) for collecting and dispersing payment. You pay ME, they allocate to BM, plus keep track of delinquency and arrears. I'm sure there's a similar program in the US... however in Canada it's an optional service, usually requested by BM's if the X is a deadbeat or tends to go MIA etc etc. In our case, there is no ME, DH cuts cheques to BM monthly with the cheque register being his "receipt" should we ever go to court.
Thing is - at this point he is OVERPAYING his required support by about $300 a month. Why you ask? DH is self-employed in agriculture, and set up well to inherit a business in the next few yrs that will greatly increase his income. HE THINKS that by overpaying BM right now, she won't ask to reassess his income when he inherits the business and his income increases. Think of it as hush money.
We got into it last night, bc he's giving her waaaaaay too much credit for morality. This bitch can reassess whenever she chooses to ask. Basically, he's overpaying her now, and if she wants a reassessment in 5 years she will then qualify for more money.. so he's getting f*cked now and future f*cked by assuming BM will have any integrity.
(BM does nails p/t under the table. And is pregnant with the dude she fucked behind DH's back. A reeeeal winner. My husband's inflated child support is allowing her to sit on her ass, bills paid, and have a kid with another man.)
And what does ME have to do with this? It's there to protect both parties. If he were using ME there's no way his payment would be allowed to be inflated. It would be based off the CO. Plus there would be a record of his timely payment, something that he could potentially use as a character reference in future court.
Anyone else think this is a stupid assumption he's making?
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Amen tog - the only
Amen tog - the only "stupider" one in this situation is the one fucking me. Maybe I am stupid!???!?
What province are you in? I'm
What province are you in? I'm in Alberta. BM took DH to ME last year. He'd never been behind or missed a payment so I think she did it as a control/power thing. She also asked to have CS reassessed every year so it happens automatically now. DH and she both send their T1s to ME and they recalculate what his payment is.
ETA: The funny thing about BM asking for a recalculation every year is that my husband's income will be a bit lower this year because he took part of my mat leave. I don't think she knows that. She'll be upset when her CS goes down next year.
I think your husband is making a mistake. He shouldn't overpaying her. If she's anything like a lot of the greedy BMs discussed on here, she won't care that he was overpaying. She'll probably always want as much as she can get.
I'm a CA and I've had clients in your situation. If the business he's going to inherit is incorporated, he'll just pay himself a salary every year and so his income will be what goes on his T4. You can be a paid employee of the company and actually pay part of your husband's salary to you. Then his income is lower and his CS will be lower. The only problem is if BM catches wind of him inheriting the business and knows to look for this kind of thing, or wants to see the financial statements of the company. ME would ask for them.
Great advice - Thank you. We
Great advice - Thank you.
We are in SK and BM is in AB.
DH is an avoider, and assumes people will always have the best intentions. I am more of a realist and therefore a pessimist, but also think ahead and plan.
Yes, he T4's himself a wage and his company is incorporated. However his company has strong annual earnings that she feels entitled to. This stems from the fact she didn't fight for half his company when they divorced (after 10.5 months of marriage) so she got him by the balls and made astronomical demands of him.
I don't draw any wages from his company, his family is punishing me for BM's greed. I have nothing to do with his business as a result and have signed pre-nup upon pre-nup. I'm also an agri-commercial lender with a credit union, so I (somewhat) understand the FS side, I try and explain but like I said, he avoids the issue and ships her money to keep her happy.
Oh too bad about the pre nup.
Oh too bad about the pre nup. We've had a few farmers who that scenario had worked for.
It's too bad your husband's ex knows so much about the business. I think he's screwed.
What an odd philosophy he
What an odd philosophy he had. He will never see any goodwill come from that money. She's been counting on the day he inherits from the moment she met him.
THIS IS AWESOME. Thank you! I
THIS IS AWESOME. Thank you!
I have fingers crossed for Karma on BM. DH is a good man, getting cut in half because he loves his kid. It all comes back in the end, and I'm hoping it does, for BM and DH alike. Glad your story has such a great outcome!
Why doesn't he take the $300
Why doesn't he take the $300 and invest it. Then in the future if she makes legal claims to it and he has to pay up he will have the money on hand and make some extra while he is saving it. Or he can tell BM he has the money invested in a college fund for their child/ren. How would that look in court?
Does bm wonder why she is
Does bm wonder why she is being overpaid?
My husband's lawyer said
My husband's lawyer said extraordinary expenses are extra curricular stuff that is way more than your run of the mill swimming lessons and stuff, and it would also be extra medical expenses like braces. BM tried to get my husband to pay for Girl Guides - it was $100 for the year. His lawyer told him not to because she wouldn't win in court. Does your CO specifically list those things - backpacks, etc? Those should not be extraordinary expenses. Those should be covered by CS. As far as I know it is for my husband and we're in AB too. Mind you his ex has never tried to take him to court.....maybe he wouldn't win.
I hope so too! That us really
I hope so too! That us really too bad for your husband.
How ridiculous!!! Can't
How ridiculous!!! Can't believe she sits there with her hand out.
End of the day it comes down to a difference in how I behave and how she behaves. I have waaaaay too much self respect to sit there with an expectation that a man (ESPECIALLY an X) is supplementing my existence. Lord forbid I end up a single mother, I would never raise my children to see me expecting their father to provide anything beyond basic amenities. I would work my bag off to set the example that if you want it, earn it.
Oh and Millhouse I feel your pain - DH pays for all back to school shopping, all extracurricular equipment (yes he pays the dues as well), and even the gas to get her loser ass to the exchange point.
She's an AB BM too, she has a lawyer who's coached her to rip my man's nuts out through his wallet. She's entitled, expectant, complete lazy BM. In short she's a cunt. (yeah I used that word - the only situation it actually fits.)
Where in Canada are you? I'm
Where in Canada are you? I'm from Ontario and we go through FRO (Family Relations Office). I have never heard of ME before, but it's probably the same kind of idea. I actually don't mind the idea of it, because BM is sneaky and I wouldn't put it past her to lie and say DH wasn't paying her otherwise. But in answer to your post, I would assume it probably won't matter that he's been overpaying (that was his choice/mistake, however you want to look at it). She more than likely will ask for an increase, and she'll certainly get it.
We are in SK and she is in
We are in SK and she is in AB.
FRO = ME - likely all the same.
My husband overpays for the
My husband overpays for the number of overnights that we have. Personally I don't mind so much as we can afford it (not that an extra $200 a month wouldn't be nice, but our bills get paid). It also keeps us out of court in the mean time because BM knows that he could get a reduction and she really relies on the CS to live on. She also doesn't ask him for the odd $20 here there and everywhere that she used to (but I think that is mainly because he began saying no).
I have no advice for you
I have no advice for you other than if you can get out do it! Chef overpays on purpose and relies on me to pay the bills, although I get NO credit for it from him or not a smidgen of appreciation.
In Chef's case, he CAN'T afford it because he barely brings home anything, yet pays enough for the BM to pay a healthy mortgage each month.