Awww, thank you. I do lead bike rides, but not specifically for newly single women. But you have a great idea there.

It's taken me a long time to learn and accept that I can have a life full of love and adventure without a partner. I'm just so tired of half-hearted and selfish love. I'm tired. I've given too much to people who struggled to just freaking love me, reciprocate and simply protect my heart. I can't choose another person who takes more than they give and only finds me useful. Nah. I'm all about net positives, now. If you can't ADD to my life, I'm better off on my own.

You get it with the kid thing. And thank you for your kind words. I'm like most people, I can be awesome, but I'm also flawed. I can be a butthead sometimes. LOL

I'm just so over it. She's 31 and her father and I have commiserated about the monster we created with our darling "princess."

She lived on her own in Texas for 5 years, but was laid off in July 2023. She decided to move back to Maryland and find a job while living with her dad. But she was mugged at gunpoint not far from his house. So, I shut down my airbnb and we moved in here together.

She was unemployed for months and wasn't seriously looking for a job. She's only been working full time since March. I can't fault her for having a tough time finding a job, but SHE made choices and she's blaming me.

While she was unemployed, she was spending money like crazy, traveling, laying around my house, not paying rent. I was frustrated at her laziness and said at the very least she had to pay 1/2 of the utilities since she had enough money to travel and buy stuff that kept arriving at the house.

Next she met her boyfriend who lives 45 minutes away. He's a nice guy. When she got her job, finally, it was a 1 hour commute each way for a 9 hour day, with every other Friday off. It was the only job offer she got, so she took it, but was MISERABLE. She bought herself a Tesla to commute with (she's an engineer and the salary is very nice). But, she was crabby and bitter and pissy.

She was upset that I was grieving my breakup really hard the first months of this year. Um....I'm sorry? Sorry you were unemployed and living in my house, not paying rent and I had some feelings. Was I supposed to apologize for that? Was I supposed to hide in my room and cry alone to spare HER feelings? I mean, the audacity.

She's used to have her own place, so there have been adjustments to sharing a kitchen and keeping up with the house.

I have learned that she automatically assumes anything I do is to deliberately hurt her. As an example, I was preparing for a cycling event back in April and had purchased new bike tires. I spent the night before the bike event wrestling these new tires (notoriously hard to get on and off the wheel) onto the wheels only to have the tubes pop repeatedly. I was a frantic mess that night and when I got up the next day, I made some oatmeal and then bolted to the event to see if the Bike Doctor could assist. LIttle did I know that she was having her boyfriend and his father over to the house, and was cooking them dinner. She assumed that I left my pot of oatmeal on the stove for HER to clean up and she was mad I didn't do more to tidy up the house for their visit. 1. She did NOT tell me we were having company that day and 2. I did NOT leave my "mess" behind for her to cleanup. I was going to deal with it when I got back later that day.

She has repeatedly assigned malice to many actions that are just me being distracted or forgetful, or self absorbed. I don't understand it. I am just living my life and I think I've been a pretty good roommate, but she seems bitter that I'm charging her rent ($700 a month). I dunno. I love her but the attitude is something else.

Thank you! Don't discount the part each and every one of you played in helping me.

For the last 8 or 9 years, you've had a front row seat to my tragic 2nd marriage. I couldn't have escaped and healed so well without my friends here. And, you've all helped hold me accountable this last go-around.

((Hugs))

I usually slept really well with my ex, but, for some reason, I was always on the edge of the bed. We only had a couple of blanket stealing incidents and I didn't have to deal with annoying children or excessive farting. LOL

But, now, I use the WHOLE BED, and all of the pillows.

What I don't miss is the going to bed wondering if he was even coming to bed, and/or what kind of mood he'd be in. Like, would he want to snuggle.........or not. He is hard to read and not typically a good communicator. Eventually, I just learned to turn off the light when I wanted to and roll over to sleep. If he wanted to snuggle or not, it was ON HIM to communicate either verbally or non verbally. I suck at mind reading.

And, for the last year we were together, I often wondered who I would wake up to. Would it be Mr. Happy to be with me or Mr. Grumpy-pants. There too, I just did what I wanted to. I wouldn't linger in bed to see who I was waking up to. I would get up when my alarm went off and start my day. I surely wasn't going to reach out for a snuggle and have Mr. Grumpy-pants decline. Wow, it really helps to write this and remember how it felt.

As a person with fairly stable moods and a generally positive demeanor, it was frustrating.

You're such a great cheerleader, Mr. Rags. I wish you could teach a course on how to be a good partner, adore your wife and be emotionally available. So many men would benefit from your insight.