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It's about FRICKEN time!!!

lac925's picture

Long story short, BM was getting WAY too much in CS so DH started the process to have it reduced - she was receiving $1100/month for 3 kids, 1 of whom hasn't even lived with her for over 3 yrs (she's currently in foster care) and whom we haven't seen in that long.

Well, DH finally got off his ass and got his T4's in order and went to the lawyer's today; he (lawyer) told him that his $1100 will now go down to $547 (!!!) according to the numbers. Don't ask me why he hasn't thought to do this before, I think it had something to do with the taxes not being filed or something. Whatever. At least it's being taken care of NOW and it couldn't have come at a better time(or WORSE time, as BM will soon find out).

BM's crap (ie. poor money decisions) has been going on for too long, so I'll just list it all in point form:
1. As stated above, she only has 2 kids FULL TIME; her oldest has been in foster care for over 3 years
2. She received TWO $18k cheques from the gov't (that's $36k for the kids' ADHD disability)...which she blew through in a WEEKEND...yes, that's $36k in THREE DAYS...not WEEKS...not MONTHS...not YEARS...DAYS!
3. She got an $800/month apt that she couldn't afford and was later evicted for NOT paying rent
4. She spent $400 on a Lululemon outfit that didn't even FIT her - I spent about $30 on a WHOLE workout outfit (top/bottom/running shoes) that I actually use to *gasp* WORK OUT...WTF is a single unemployed mother doing spending that kind of money on ONE outfit when her kids need to EAT?
5. She moved AGAIN, this time to a house that's $1100/month in rent (as in her WHOLE CS cheque)
6. She blames DH for her inability to give the kids their allowance even though he doesn't touch a cent of it once it's sent to her
7. She recently got ANOTHER puppy...after she had to get rid of another pet (according to SD10)
8. She constantly puts blame on DH for things that are under HER control; she even went as far as telling the skids that SS12 is the way he is (psychologically messed up; he recently tried to kill his pets) because "DH abused BM when she was pregnant with him" :jawdrop: Excuse me. I had 2 kids with DH and not ONCE has he laid a hand on me (in that way), and our kids are developing quite well, TYVM!
9. When the skids were getting ready to go home, SD10 said to me "I might as well brush my teeth now because I won't be eating when we get home" (because of the lack of food? or because it would be late?)

I know this will come as a HUGE surprise to BM when she finds out that she's getting less than half what she's getting now, given her lifestyle. She's been spending frivolously and her kids are barely eating! Every time they come over, it's like they haven't eaten in MONTHS, which is probably true! I feel bad for these kids but it's all on BM. SHE has ultimate control of the money once she gets the cheque in the mail, so if she doesn't have money for groceries because she was stupid enough to get a place that she can't afford, then that's HER problem. She's gonna have to learn to budget. Anyway, her Baby Bonus is around the $2000 mark...PLUS, she hasn't claimed her bf's income, so it actually should be LESS than that seeing as how there's actual income coming in...

We always hear that the dad's have no say in how BM's spend their money (nor do they have the right to see the receipts), yet when it doesn't come in on time, it's the DAD'S fault? Even when these women are using that money for manicures and new tattoos??? Where's the justice in THAT?

Anyway, I just wanted to rant/celebrate for a bit about this. I've talked about this in the past on here, and others were wondering why CS hadn't been lowered yet. Well, it's on its way now! She can have fun looking for a new place while we're enjoying OUR cottage vacation, which we saved up for all year! Blum 3

PS. People can judge and call me "heartless", but I don't care. This b*tch has it coming, the way she stupidly spends her money while her kids are going hungry (meanwhile, she had enough money to buy them EACH a NEW iPod!). Anyway, DH's income is much less than it used to be (when the $1100 was determined), and BM's just been soaking it all in.

Comments

Anon2009's picture

If you think they haven't been eating at BMs in months, and/or are suffering any other form of neglect from her, you should notify Canada's equivalent of CPS. Take pictures. Give them documentation.

lac925's picture

They HAVE been dealing with CAS for years, but BM knows all the tricks to get them off her back. I don't go with DH to pick the kids up, nor does he go through their cupboards enough to take pictures. We can only go by what we hear from the kids or what's implied, so it's all hearsay.

Ultimately, all we can do on our part is make sure they're fed when they come over, which we do. I go out of my way to make fun meals and desserts for them - that way, BM can't claim we're malnourishing them (as she has in the past).

lac925's picture

The one in foster care is not DH's biological daughter, and she has since "renounced" him as such, even though he's the only father she's ever known. CAS and her mom have given her the decision whether or not she wants to come over anymore, and she's pretty much at the age now where she can make her own decisions. We haven't seen her in over 3 years now.

She'd always been a bit of a problem child (emotionally, psychologically, major bedwetting issues), and we weren't equipped to take her in at the time (we had just moved and I was pregnant with our 2nd child). She was in her grandfather's care for a couple of years until she got to be too much for him, so instead of her mother taking her back, she allowed CAS to put her in a foster home.

Anyway, not to be mean (even though it may SOUND mean), but BM screwed her up - why should WE be the ones to deal with it? SHE doesn't even deal with it, and that's her flesh-and-blood daughter. *shrugs*

As for the CS, he's been paying it because he never had the documents to get a reduction. But the numbers show that he should be paying far less than that amount...But I see where you're coming from. We'll see what happens...