I wouldn't give them anything. And in fact I wouldn't even get them something and put his name on it. You are still getting them a present. My husband went through that with his daughter and we both don't get her anything. She don't know how to respect us then she don't deserve anything. Good luck to you but I would take all that stuff back.

I do not plan on getting my SD15 anything either. Does this also go for a Birthday too? I don't think I should have to get someone who "hates my guts" and blames me for "messing up her life" anything for any occasion.

I wouldn't give her anything. I have no intention of getting FSD or FSS anything for Christmas, they've both told me I am nothing to them, so... that means nothing from me. FDH will buy them something and probably put my name on it, but I will not go shopping for him or with him.

If I were you I wouldn't give them anything either. I am very lucky as all my skids like me and have told me so. they talk to me and play with me. I can be a little turd sometimes. I play with them all the time like when they are playing a game I'll get in front of the tv and dance around and they will start laughing and stuff it's all in good fun. I do get them presents but it b/c they like me and I like them. They don't blame me for anything. I mean the comment ss15 made the other night proved that. He told his dad that when he was married to his mom that he knew he wasn't looking forward to happy time with her. That one blew my mind but they know what was up when dh was with her.

You shouldn't feel like you have to buy anything for someone that doesn;t like you and doesn't give a rats ass about you. If they weren't your steps would you have anything to do with them? NO you wuoldn't.

I am in the same boat with SD23. I refused to sign her bday card which did not seem to bother her.
But now for Xmas my DH wants to spend $300 on each of his grown children. I told him to have fun standing in lines this year on his own.
He is also insisting on putting stockings up for them. Which after a LOT of thought I said I would do. Trust me I do not want to but I am doing it for DH not for them.

However, it is not my fault if SD's stocking falls down and the puppies chew it.. }:)

If your sk's told you that they don't need anything from you... fine. Leave it alone. That's part of that unappreciative, disrespectful crap I am trying to avoid this year myself. If you feel a need to do for SOMEONE, go pick up a needy person off of a Salvation Army tree who will APPRECIATE it.

I agree toys for tots bin all the way. After all your only giving them what they asked for.

DH and I are caving on Christmas/birthday presents. (SD14's birthday is in early January) She's begging for an iPod Touch. We're going to let her choose - a minimal iPod, or (my choice) a $1800 2-week residential summer camp on writing fiction. (her dream job) Of course, she doesn't get told the relative values of the gifts. We'll see which she values more; a piece of electronics, or an experience that she'll remember for a lifetime.

That being said, we're lucky. SD14 is sweet and affectionate and overall a good teenager; now if she'll just stay away from the bad boys! She's attracted to them (weren't we all?) but with the way she's being raised by BM (shouted down, repressed, tons of responsibility loaded on her) she'll be ripe for an abuser to pick her up and abuse her more. So I worry about her dating choices.

I'm here mostly because of BM these days - I'm so frustrated that her bad decisions affect my life.

I am getting ss nothing.