You are here

Things are about to blow up

Kiwichick's picture

BM is texting and emailing DP daily to continue her hissy fit about the trespass notice. Once again she's trying to get everyone including SD7 believing we're abusive towards SD7 so that she can take full custody.

DP has finally had enough of her bullsh*t and is finally standing up to her. But this means the courts will be involved. We know the kinds of allegations she'll make because she's made them all before. So we're ordering cameras for the living room, dining and kitchen area, and maybe the hallway that leads to the front door. None in the bedrooms or bathroom obviously for privacy reasons. 

What other measures should we take to protect our family from sh*tstorm that's coming our way? 


thinkthrice's picture

you are not her primary caretaker nor in the house alone with her.

tog redux's picture

Yes. Do not be alone with this child. Don't put yourself in a position to be accused of abuse.

Kes's picture

Agree, never be alone with SD7.  I decided this too, when my SDs were age 5 and 7, as NPD BM made bogus allegations about DH.  

justmakingthebest's picture

BM2 is crazy and came out with all sorts of allegations. It was honestly amazing what happened when we did the cameras in the house. Zilch- not a single other thing has come out of her mouth about us directly. It is amazing what changes when they can't lie. 

I agree with the others about being alone- don't let that happen. Also limit out of the house interactions with the kids. That way you always have proof of what is going on. 

Thumper's picture

This is awful. I am so sorry BM is traumatizing your dh and family again.

Setting up cameras is a smart decision.

Because dh's child is still young, bm will continue her efforts to ruin you and dh in this manner. When child is a little older, the child will take over where bm cant.

No joke, we really thought that we were the only ones going thru all the craziness. We felt isolated and ashamed because of it. If it was not for step talk we reallly REALLY would have thought no other family went thru alllll of this.

Your lawyer should be blunt, truthful to you both and tell you, The courts see this on a daily basis and YOU are not alone. What bm is doing to you is what many many bms' do to their ex's.

We wish our many lawyers told us that. Instead we were looked as though they never EVER heard of such things. PFFFFT

You and dh have a huge decision to make. Keep going round and round. Loosing tens of thousands of dollar until the chils is emancipated? . Possibly having your livelihood removed from you because of false alligations, reputations in your community in the gutter because of Bm and her minions?

Maybe just maybe your BM will be told by the court IF she pulls this ever again she will loose custody permanently. IF all she is handed only a side eye THEN you will know what your future holds by family court.

Considered ideas for you: NO more texting or cell phone use between bm and dh.  Remember OP, there are NO laws on the books that make a citizen answer calls, respond to texts. Do not ask for this permission, just do it. THEN explain the decision works best for our home.   Beg the court to use Our family Wizard ONLY.  --- Change your cell phone number and use a home land line, 30bucks a month thru your carrier. Tell bm you will no longer use private cell phones for any communication. Child will call her from home phone. Skip the answering machine too. Your home, your rules.


Ask yourself, are YOU willing to spend the next 11-15 years living just like this or worse.




Kiwichick's picture

Ask yourself, are YOU willing to spend the next 11-15 years living just like this or worse.

Honestly I'm apprehensive about the future.

I was so naive when I entered this relationship. SD and I got on really well, that lasted until BM's jealousy and insecurity got in the way. I thought SD7's behaviour (a weird mix of babyish in some areas and teenager-like in other areas) could be fixed with loving guidance. I thought the same about her hygiene. It was working until BM started telling her everything DP and I do is child abuse. I thought with time and a new partner that BM would settle down and act like a decent human being. I thought with time, love, and good parenting that our family would blend and settle into something we wereaall comfortable with. I thought love and patience would be enough to overcome anything and everything.

I was wrong, so wrong. 

Now I'm apprehensive that there's nothing I can do to "fix" the situation, BM and SD7 will keep coming up with ways to fu*k us over. Step talk has been a sanity saver for me, but it's also shown me what the future probably holds. Where do I draw the line? 

Kiwichick's picture

Thanks everyone. 

  • Never be alone with SD7 
  • Limit out of home activities 
  • Our family wizard as the only form of communication between DP and BM 
  • Land line for BM and SD7 to communicate 
  • Cameras with audio recording 

Also looking at audio recording for SD7's bedroom which she shares with my DD10. They have to keep their toys in their bedrooms, so they spend a lot of time in there playing.