DP got a taste of what I've been going through
SD7 has a bad attitude toward me, partly because she's a mini wife, partly because of brainwashing from her NPD BM, and partly because she's never been parented. DP knows how I feel about how SD7 treats me.
I've been having trouble with BD14's disrespectful attitude lately. She's lost privileges like her phone, her bedroom door, and screen time. There have been other consequences too.
Last night she was rude to DP and he felt like I backed her up. He was upset/hurt/angry about it. Later she lashed out at him again and he went to the shed. I told her how her attitude and behaviour hurts those around her. I asked if we've ever given her a reason to treat us the way she has been lately. She said no we haven't. I gave her two choices; go and give him a sincere apology and explanation for her behaviour, or write it down and give it to him. She struggles with verbal communication so she opted for the letter. I believe it was heartfelt because she broke down in tears a couple of times writing it. She gave it to him and he read it. He had a chat with her afterwards and hugged her. Later I saw him crying for the first time.
In the past he's talked to SD7 about how she treats me but he doesn't pull her up when she's being rude/mean/disrespectful. SD7 will look at both of us as she's doing/saying something she knows isn't ok, and he doesn't pull her up. There's no consequences for SD7. Meanwhile BD14 has lost privileges and has to face consequences for her bad behaviour/attitude. Yet somehow I'm not addressing it? DP doesn't deserve her mistreating him, yet I somehow it's ok for me to be mistreated by SD7?