How old is your son and how has he been financing his studies so far and what does he intend to pursue as a career?

Why do you let your husband treat your son that way? There are currently 205 openings on Linkeden that require a PhD in his field of study.  Ever hear of seni-conductors or nanotechnology?  Your son is making a wise choice in a field that is only going to grow in the coming years.  He came over excited to share his news that he was accepted into the doctoral   Program.  Doesn't sound liked he wanted or asked for financial support.  I would not be surprised if you lose your relationship with your son if this is how your husband treats him and you not only tolerate that behavior you defend it.  You couldn't even be bothered to look up what your son is studying something that took me 20 seconds to do.  
please reevaluate your response and consider apologizing to your son.

Someone enrolling in a PhD program is probably over 25yo and up. Especially in STEM programs that could last for years.

Has your husband paid for his education? Then he is right not to want to pay for it any longer. The response of your son to your husband was very aggressive. Your husband said "wont be paying for it and there is no professional future" and his response was "stfu". A normal adult would have responded that they respectfully disagree or tried to convince him otherwise but instead he looked down on your husbands profession and insulted him

Its weird....your son seems poorly raised

If he's been accepted to a PhD program, there should be funding opportunities for him in that field from the school. I work with many PhD candidates and most of them have tuition and fees support, insurance, and even a paycheck for teaching/TAiing/research work. It's not a great living, but it covers a lot of the expenses.

Did you and your son sit down and chart out costs/school programs and coverage/scholarships?  Is there a number that is reasonable and logical? Start there.

Now, your husband was out of line, if he did blurt out that he's not helping. That shoudl be a private convo between you and him. My DH knows I will not pay one penny for OSDs college costs (neither will he at this point...long story - but the point is there is a reason he won't) and I have told him I will not pay for YSDs either - I am not her parent, but I might front some $$ for books or something.

Your husband doesn't HAVE to pay. But he can be kinder and better about his reasoning.

on the mechanic thing.  Though your DS is exactly right and IMHO your DH deserved getting called up short. Your DH has to tear down your son because your DH is lacking.  Fill in the blanks, and there are likely many blanks, on what he is lacking in.

The root cause is that your DH is an ass.  Period. Dot.  At least according to the limited history you have proved.  No doubt there is more to the story with a child trying to navigate a toxic StepDad while growing up. You and your DH forming and norming your relationship.  Your DH and D storming when DS was a child, etc.... You may be able to present more information that provides a more complete picture. Until then I have to go with your DH being an ass.

I applaud your son for calling it as it is and I even applaud your son for calling you on not putting your asshole DH in his place. In all liklihood you should have done that long ago.

Why did it take your child to do that?  You did not mention that your PhD candidate son even asked for help. According to you he was excited to share his proud news. No doubt thinking that his mother would be proud of him and happy for him. Instead, when your asshole DH shit on your son you, for whateve reason, let that stand.  

in short:

DS: 'Mom, I got into a PhD program!!!'  

DH: 'Good luck getting a  job, we are not giving you a penny in help'. Or to direct quote "we're not helping him pay for it and told him good luck finding a job after he finishes his PhD since it would have no use."

DS to DH: 'You suck, you are an idiot, and you are mean asshole.'

You to DS: 'Get out.'

Great move mom.  Note the sarcasm.

Your DH has an inferiority complex IMHO and like most who choose to embrace that, he is trying to poo poo on the accomplishments of others that highlight your DH's inferiority in character and inferiority in human quality.

Your son is going to do great things.  Just getting into a STEM PhD program is phenominal.  One of my BFFs holds a PhD in Molecular Biology.  He ended up working in some of the most advanced development laboratories in the world, ended up buying and growing a numbr of companies.  He has created countless jobs by his efforts that otherwise would not have likely existed.

As far as your DS's field of study, he has the world openning for him.  As an Electrical Engineer who has worked in the SemiConductor industry for a very long time, is is people like your son who have created the foundation for so much of the world's modern economy and advances are based on.  Smart Phones, Lap Tops, Tablets, the Internet of Things, medical technology (my integrated closed loop Insulin Pump/Continuous Glucose Monitor system), etc....

As far as how DS will pay for his PhD. Many  doctoral programs are in large part if not in the entirety paid for by educational grants.  My BFF's PhD program was mostly funded by Grants. He did take out some loans.  Upon graduation he went to work for a large SemiConductor company in their BioChip division. They paid off his loans as part of his professional compensation.

I feel sorry for your DH. He is bitter and he is obviously miserable and for some reason needs to knock people down to his owl level of misery.

You have been advised to reach out to your son an appologize. Do that.  

NOW!

Good luck and please do not continue to wallow in your DH's inferiority complex driven shallow and polluted persona character pool. Just because DH is deficient of character does not mean you have to be.

I live in a University town and my high school college boyfriend's dad was head of the Physics department at UF. It's my understanding dhere are a lot of very high paying jobs requiring a physics degree. Either way an acceptance into a PHD program in physics is a big deal and an accomplishment that should be celebrated. If that was my child I would be moving heaven and earth to assist 

First, who the hell tells someone going for a PhD this kind of shitty comment??? My son just finished his Masters and I saw first hand the work he did. He told me what the PhD would be like, should he go that route and I was stunned. Your son busted his arse to get where he is to get accepted into a PhD program. I cannot imagine my DH telling my son or anyone such a crapastic comment. And while your son was wrong for telling him to STFU, maybe he's had enough of snarky comments since he was 10 years old by this man.

You owe your son an apology and you need to tell that ass husband of yours to keep his damn mouth shut around your kid if he can't say something nice. He didn't invest one dollar into that kid's education, therefore he has no right to comment. 

Please let your son know a lot of people on this board are super proud of him and wish him the best in pursuing his PhD. 

Your husband may not have any idea of the job prospects with this degree, but that does not mean there are not any. One of my son's friends had a major that made me wonder what he would do. When he graduated he had a plethora of offers to choose from. Jobs that I had no idea were related to this major.  My son and most of his friends, who had more common majors, had one or two offers.

Since your husband has not paid anything for your son's post high school education, I'm pretty sure sure your son did not expect any financial help. He was just excited to share the good news that he was accepted to (a most likely competitive) PhD program. 

Calling your husband too honest and showing tough love is putting a spin on what he said. I see nothing honest or loving in what was said. Husband has no knowledge of this field of study. It's not honest to denigrate things for which you have no knowledge. It's not tough love to make predictions (you will never find a job) when you have no idea of the job market in that area.

If this is the way your husband has acted since your son was ten, I can understand why they didn't get along. This was a time for both of you to be proud of your son's achievement. You don't have to understand the area of study to be proud. You son achieved this on his own, with no help from you or your husband.

Your son's remarks about your husband's intellect were unkind, and while walking away would have been better, he snapped. Your son was right though that your husband should not have diminished his accomplishment. He was also right that your husband comes first. You 'wanted to help'  but husband said no, so you didn't. You spun your husband's remarks into caring (which they weren't), and didn't defend your son's accomplishment to your husband. (Your husband was more than a little harsh.) You told your son to leave. He did. 

Don't count on an invitation to your son's graduation.

What a terrible way to react to your son sharing his good news. You owe your son a huge apology. I'd say the same thing to your husband if he said that to me. 

I think you should tell your son you are proud of him, his drive, and his accomplishments so far. If you cannot pay for it, it is what it is. Hopefully your son can obtain financing on his own. It sounds like he already has for his undergrad. You don't have to apologize on your husband's behalf, though it sounds like he was a major jerk. But do let your son know you support his efforts, even if all you can do is encourage him.

Your husband behaved like a complete ass.  And I wouldn't call it honesty and tough love; I'd call it cruelty.  How is it honesty when your husband hasn't a clue what he's talking about? Now, your son reacted in an inappropriate way, but I suspect his resentment against your husband has been building for many years if your husband's "honesty and tough love" over the years has been anything like this, so it shouldn't be an unexpected response. 

Out of curiosity, did your son even ask for financial assistance? Most students in PhD programs like that have funding. For that to be your husband's initial reaction if no request was made is particularly abhorrent. Apologize to your son, and maybe tell your husband to STFU in a nicer way. 

I'll join all the others here and say that while your son was rude, what your husband said to him was objectively worse. Even more so if y'all haven't funded his education to this point. Your son's accomplishments don't detract from your husband's at all, but it sounds like your husband believes that they do. It's not a good quality to try to bring others down in order to make oneself look better. Everyone in this scenario owes an apology. Your son to y'all for losing his temper, and both of you to your son for being cruel and unsupportive.

Yes, you were in the wrong. Congratulations were in order. Before knowing the slightest detail about it, your husband shot your son down. Is your husband always such a miserable wet blanket? Oh,and by the way, your husband's reaction to the news wasn't an example of "tough love" or honesty,it was downright rude and was fully intended to be hurtful.

I feel sorry for your son having grown up with such a hateful person. Many wouldn't have survived having their spirit broken on a regular basis yet your son managed to get accepted in a nearly impossible program. How about you apologize and tell him how proud you are of him?

Completely wrong.

Your husband sounds jealous of your son's success. 

I would be so proud of my kid if he approached me and told me he was accepted into PhD Physics. This is big. Especially since the kid did it on his own. 

I would be ashamed of what occurred and would apologize profusely to my son if I was you and offer some support on his future endeavours. You don't right this soon, you may get left in the dust. 

I mean,  I don't know the history but...

Your son has earned a major achievement,  and your husband put him down

I'd have told husband to leave at least the room 

Your son shared his good news. And all your husband could do was put him down. If I were your son I'd consider cutting ties with that toxicity, which you sided with. 

Sure, your son could have handled it better but he's probably reacting from a lifetime of rejection.

You should have told your husband to leave. 

Your husband was the a-hole and you were too. While your son shouldn't have spoken to him that way- he deserved it! 

Be freaking PROUD of your son and everything he has done. College isn't the same as it was when we were going through it, your son probably does need a little support. It is crazy to think that someone wouldn't be supportive of their kid who is pursuing a PHD. You should both be ashamed of yourselves for not doing better.