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It only took 5 months but DONE!

kenny's picture

We got our CO. Ex pays child support, half of braces, 50% of copays and deductiles until $200 then > 75% of all out of pocket medical expenses (i pay her health insurance so he pays for out of pocket stuff) 50% of child care expenses for all out of school time, 50% of after school fees till she goes to middle school. He is ordered to pay half her cheer fees (she has done competition cheer since she was 5) half of tumbling (since she was 3). He is ordered to pay half her private school. He pays half her car insurance when she turns 16. He pays half of college including dorm fees/books ect. They said no to grad school which is a bummer but we got everything else we asked for. I'm glad we did this. Its time he helped pay to take care of dd. The judge was not happy with him that he hadn't seen dd and that he didnt ask for any custody time. He also ordered back child support from the time we filied. His child support is $900 a month.  I just wanted to go update my friends on here. Thanks for the advice and support.


I love dogs's picture

Impressive. So what is his timesharing schedule? Also, how expensive are her extracurriculars and after school care? $900/ month should cover his half of some of those, don't you think?

kenny's picture

No. The judge thought he should pay child support plus so that is what we will do. I pay $400 a month during cheer and $60 a month when not for tumbling. Well now i will pay 200 and 30. My pocket book is happy! He told the judge he didn't want time sharing. It angered the judge. You could see the irritation on his face.

twoviewpoints's picture

Sounds decent. As long as it all was 50/50 and not he pays , he pays , he pays .  IMO, when it is each pays 50% there isn't the tendency to try and slip in silly stuff that perhaps ordinarily would not be requested. 

What, if any visitation was requested and given? Has there been any progress on whether or not he desires to do any 'hands-on' parenting and involvement? Or still just happy to pay and stay away? Has SM settled down any?

Hey, yeah, I'm nosy, but an update is an update.


kenny's picture

The judge asked him what kind of visitation schedule he was considering and he said none. That angered the judge i think. I got everything including sole custodian. Sm is livid and screaming and calling dd is bastard child online. Exs mom told her off when she called dd a fing bastard.

twoviewpoints's picture


 If she deosn't remove it and knock it off, have your lawyer address this. I'm sure there is something she/he can come up with that can rein her in , even if you have to go right back to court to address it. SM is basically cyber bullying a minor child.

She doesn't have to like your kid or her existance but you may be able to hold her responsibile for what crap she writes online if she doesn't stop. 

kenny's picture

I document it in case ex ever fights for custody. Sm doesnt need to be around dd till she sets her feeling straight. My child doesn't deserve her anger. 

twoviewpoints's picture

because social media is being used to attack a child, 

If SM wants to stand in the yard and tell all her neighbors or gossip at work to her coworkers, fine... but it doesnt belong where the child could see and read it. If OP can see it, then so too could the child. 

beebeel's picture

How would the child read it? OP could stop stalking the woman's social media and no one would know of any of it. I'm not sure why the OP is even looking at the posts of the wife of a man who wants nothing to do with her or her child.

And unless she is using the child's full name in these posts, there is nothing anyone can do about it. OP should forget about the wife and focus on her sweet windfall for snagging the sperm of a future doctor.

twoviewpoints's picture

If the SM's MIL (aka the little girl's newly found grandmother who has accepted and is spending time and effort on the child) is the one who jumped SM's butt about it, my guess is the Sm is posting where she knows all the family (aunts, uncles, grandma, cousins...  the new people who have begun to try and build a relationship with this child) , likely Grandma's.

Grandmas tend to do that stuff. Post 'news' about their grandkids, post photos blah blah. I doubt the Sm has her social media set so OP can stalk her personal page. 

The Sm can hate this child all she wants. She can wish her away and pretend she doesn't exist. But she has chosen instead to spread her hate for others to read. She's being a witch. No one expects the woman to accept the child nor have anything to do with her. The is truly Sm and the biological's father's choice. They never have to see and or communicate with the kid.

But it is inappropriate to trash a child online. COs can include clauses on bad mouthing the opposite parent. I doubt the court would think it's great and fine for the SM to trash and bad mouth a child online where she knows the child's family (yes, Dad's mother is the child's family as are the Aunt, cousins et) They know who this child is, they know her with or without a last name attached. This Sm is attacking the child where she knows it will cause issues and be seen. 

Do you really think OP got screen shots off SM's private locked up tighter than tight social media? Do you really think SM has left her setting so open that OP can stalk it? Do you have your social media set so the BM in your life can peek in? 

I'm not necessarily supporting the OP in any of what has taken place throughout the last six months.... but going after the innocent kid is just wrong. 

Say what she wants about the OP, I suppose, but leave the child (who had nothing at all to do with any of it) alone. 

Just my two cents

beebeel's picture

I know so many allegedly smart people with open social media profiles. 

I don't see venting on her own social media page as "going after the child." The CHILD is too young to be legally using the apps. So...unless some pot stirring adult tells the child about the post, she never has to know.

And seriously? What wife and mother wouldn't lose her damn mind about what's happened? This is the woman who put her husband through medical school so some party girl from a decade ago can show up and carve out a huge chunk of their income. I think most people would be hopping mad. And no, I don't expect her first consideration would be the feelings of a MIL who has allegedly done what this one has (invited kid to family functions before paternity was established?! Wackadoooo!)

twoviewpoints's picture

My take on it is SM is posting comments on the MIL's page, not in SM's own page. Replying to postings on family's pages , not on her own page.

You and I dont seem to be looking at where and how OP knows about and snapped shots of it... but that's ok, *we* don't have to agree. 

All I am saying is that if SM is spreading her crap anywhere other than her own personal private locked page  (in places where the other family members can see and read) it needs to cease. Example, Grandma posts on GMa's page , and if SM makes nasty comment. Aunt post and if SM writes something nasty. If SM can not refrain from spreading her hate she needs to say nothing.  

This is what OP posted here back in January about facebook:

"Dd recongized the girl from photos her grandma had shown her on facebook and asked her grandma if that was her sister. She introduced herself and then they played and had fun at the party. Dd took a lot of selfies with her half sister. It wasn't a big deal to either of them but when new wife found out she lost her mind."

So if nothing else, Grandma is sharing GMa's facebook with the child. I wouldn't be surprised if GMa (aka whackadooo) has friended OP on facebook. 


beebeel's picture

I must have missed the post about screenshots (pot stirring....hmmm?). Sounds like Grandma and OP are birds of a feather. SM may not have had a great relationship with HER MIL before all this started (not sure why OP keeps referring to Grandma as MIL...that's a tad weird.)

And in any case, SM is soooo irrelevant. Dad won't be exercising visitation. Any reports on SM given to SD by other adults would be more of the same toxic crap we all know too well.

Exjuliemccoy's picture


Fishoutofwater's picture

I didn’t realize a parent could be ordered to pay for college. I thought once the kids were out of high school that was the end of it. Good to know. 

kenny's picture

You can. Otherwise it would just be the custodial parent paying and thats not fair. He helped make her he should help support her.

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

They can which I think shows how entitled we've gotten. College isn't a basic need and it's bull for any parent to have to pay it.

I knew from day one if I wanted college I'd have to pay for it and I did by doing well enough in school to get a scholarship. If a kid can't get an academic scholarship to cover at least part then I question if they should really go to a private college.  Just adds to the over inflation of degrees being issued which in turn is lowering their value. Now a college degree is just a glorified high school diploma and shows that you were willing to spend whatever money the campus asked for.

If a parent is smart they will ensure that restrictions get put in place to prevent abuse. A c student doesn’t need to go out of state and if they fail a semester then all support should be dropped. Otherwise worthless BM’s push their kids to “go to college” while they continue to college CS and have daddy fund it all while refusing to pay their portion.

Not that OP here will do that but we’ve read from enough users that is what’s going on for them.

ndc's picture

Did your ex forget to get a lawyer or something?  It sounds like he got screwed.  I have no issue with him needing to pay child support, but I'm surprised he has to pay 50% of private school, considering that she JUST started private school, seemingly in anticipation of the ex paying half.  I'm also surprised he has to pay 50% of car insurance when she's 16.  Half of college doesn't surprise me - I see that a lot.  Does the order specify limits, such as limited to the in-state school or anything like that?  It sounds like you did very well, and no visitation to boot.  I'm not at all surprised that his wife is going berserk over this - it'll likely have a huge impact on the financial well being of her family.

fourbrats's picture

You live in a fantasy world. A 16 year old is not guaranteed a car or a license, so a judge ordering something six years early is ridiculous. A child is not guaranteed a college education, so the same thing applies. And did you admit to the judge that you put her in private school in order to ensure her dad had to pay? If any of this is true I think your ex should appeal and take it to a higher court. 

dysfunctionally_blended's picture

If this is true it is a bit ridiculous. Child support, yes. He fathered a child that he should take care of. 

Extra-curricular, only if agreed upon. I can see the established activities at 50%.

Car insurance - no way. Driving is a priviledge not a necessity. 

College - I would be livid and damn right would not agree and appeal. I would be damned if I was court ordered to pay for an ADULT! 

I also find this hard to believe. 

kenny's picture

Driving is a life skill and since we live in the sticks it is necessary for her to drive for work. The judge agreed. He can appeal paying for half her college but my attorney said it wouldn't make a difference ESPECIALLY since he himself is educated. He can try if he wants. I'll just ask that he pay my attorney fees.

Thumper's picture

Driving a car and owing a car is NOT a life skill. 



Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

Better go tell that to the people in New York. Hell studies show that the number of nondrivers below the age of 45 has been decreaseing for a while.

JustAgirl42's picture

If she will be using this life skill to drive to work, then why couldn't she pay for the insurance??

Cooooookies's picture

There is no way a judge order half of private school or car insurance.  There is no way this guy stood in court and just let this happen without a fight.  There is no way this would be settled in 5 months.  In any court in America, ever.  Especially since none of this was pursued until the daughter was 10 years old.  There would be a whole lot of research and questions into why wasn't this chased sooner since you knew he was the dad.  And since dad doesn't want to pay anything, there is no way he'd stand up in court and go "Oh okay, half of all these expensive elective things that are not required for any child, sure I'll go with this.  Yeah sign me up."

I'm not saying he should not pay child support for his daughter but this is so excessive it's not even believable.  

kenny's picture

The courts asked why there wasn't an order before and he admitted under oath he knew about dd but he wasn't ready to be a dad. I was asked and I said I didn't want to force him to be a dad but now that dd is older she is getting more expensive and I would like him to help support her and be a father to her. It's not excessive to pay child support, for your kid to be in 2 activities, to pay their car insurance, pay their copays and to pay for college. I'm paying for all this already. I just asked he pay half and the courts agreed.

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

Wow that's sad. You were all fine allowing her to live without her dad untill she got "more expensive". 

secret's picture

What you SHOULD have said, since you were under oath, is that you never considered even telling her, since she thought stepdad was dad, step dad was going to adopt, but because stepsis spilled the beans dd asked to know about dad.

Had the judge known the truth of how things started, things would have gone very differently.

notarelative's picture

$900 a month CS. Plus  $200 cheer/tumbling or $30 cheer. Plus half after school care and non school care. Is this based on current income? I thought he was still in training.

The no visitation request may have gotten you more money. But, I am amazed that you got half of private school tuition seeing that you enrolled her in anticipation of him paying. His lawyer was a poor one if he did not raise this in court.

Enjoy your victory.

How is your daughter's arm?

Since this all started with a comment from SD, how is her relationship with your daughter?  Is she going to the same private school? 





kenny's picture

She is good. Sd and dd get in their arguments but all sisters do. Sd is not in the private school because she has a disability that her home school caters to and the private school can not offer the same services.

Saint_Gus's picture

Congrats. I don't think you deserve all the flack you've been getting and i don't really understand why you're getting it. I am glad it worked out for your daughter. She deserves everything she can get from her parents. All kids do. I hope he changes his mind and starts treatimg her like family. His wife is a piece of work, though. She was aware your daughter existed beforehand, right? No child deserves an adult's wrath like that. I wish you and your family good luck!

TwoOfUs's picture

It's obvious that you don't understand the flack because you haven't read the full story. 

No...the SM did not know the girl existed, and neither did the dad. He and OP split up when she was still pregnant, and she raised the girl for almost 10 years as another man's child...a man who was going to adopt the child as his own until OP found out that her ex was in residency to be a surgeon and saw $$$-signs. 

The story is gross and greedy in every way...if it's even true. I tend to think it's not...

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

Another argument is the fact that this is a BioMom coming onto a step parent page talking about finically raping a BioFather who she didn't even want apart of the child's life.

She admits that she chose to let him go because it was easier for her but by her own words now that the child is "more expensive" she is demanding he pay for her while giving him no say.

For example she rips the girl out of her school a week before Christmas Break and demands BD pay half of privet school that she didn't even care about until she saw dollar signs ontop of other rediculaus demands.

It's basicly a collection of every horrible BM move users come here to bent about and you can't even say it might be fake.

kenny's picture

He told the judge he knew about dd but he wasn't ready to be a father. He made his decisions KNOWING she existed and he choose not to be a part of her life. 

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

And you KNEW he was the dad. You didn't WANT him. You made a choice that he wasn't worth it. You CHOSE to pretend some other man was her father and since you were unwilling to aknowlage BD within reasonable time in my eyes you forfeited all rights to having his support. Court may say different and that's good for you.

But the thing is you are more guilty for your child not knowing her real dad. You denied her 10 years of support and a real possibiity. Of a relationship with her dad. He gave you what you wanted which was the ability to move on when you deemed him unfit for some reason. You enjoyed that priviage now you see money. Like I've said before I truly feel sorry for your child.

Cry all you want about how your justified and he's the bad guy. You were a poor parent. I would go to the end of the world to get my child everything they deserved. I wouldn't wait 10 years and the only tell because an 11 year old accidently did the right thing for you.

kenny's picture

I would have LOVED for her dad to step up and help with her but a deadbeat is a deadbeat.

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

If you would have loved it then you would have named him the father and had the support from moment one. No you decided he wasn't worth dealing with.

Let me guess he was too poor to chance him actully coming around and then demanding equal rights to his child. No much better to have some random man play daddy so you don't have to share. 

And none of your behavior since 11 year old did your job has been anything but a money grab. Don't paint it as anything else. If you really wanted him to be daddy you'd actully tried to include him in decisions about his child like if she went to privet school or not. Nope he's not her dad after all, he's your paycheck. Congratulations. You got what you wanted.

kenny's picture

I had to much pride to chase him down but with time comes wisdom. I don't get your anger at allowing dds father to be IN her life. I've given him every opportunity to mert her REPEADLY. I told him i was pregnant. I told him when she was born. I'm trying to get him to meet dd for the last 6 or so months. I can't force the man to do anything but pay child support. I'm tired of paying for everything knowing he is capable of paying! He can pay now. He can support  his dd. It's time he man up.

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

I wonder how long till dad tries getting this overruled since clearly the amount is insane for someone who is still completing his education. Seems like this is all based on possible future earnings which isn’t allowed. I mean $30,000 a year (rough amount for CS, the activites, and half of private school) is different if he were a full-fledged surgeon but he’s still completing his residency which on average is $50,000 to $60,000 a year.

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

So yeah. Half his income BEFORE taxes. You wonder why people cry faul.

this_is_me's picture

I just want to know who your attorney is and what state you live in because I could use their help with my ex. 

Congrats btw dads should have to pay for 1/2 of their kids stuff because they would if you were still together and child was living with them. Just because you no longer want to be with him does not negate the fact that he is her father.

TwoOfUs's picture 

If they were 'still together' (they never were together as a married couple...but OK) then the dad would get to DECIDE how and what he wanted to provide for his children with HIS money. He wouldn't be told what he HAD to do by a greedy BM who sees $$$-signs in her eyes and then expected to pay half with ZERO input. 

This is what makes NCPs so furious...getting no say but being expected to foot the bill. That's completely wrong. Child support...fine. Cars and car insurance and private school and competitive cheer? At what point did dad get the chance to weigh in on any of these expenses? It's even grosser that this selfish woman moved her DD to private school purely in anticipation of getting more out of her ex. That is, assuming the story is true...I actually don't buy any of it. 

Your analogy doesn't hold at all. Intact families live within their means and decide together what those means are, and what their financial priorities are...they don't sign their kids up for everything and expect someone else to cover half. 



lieutenant_dad's picture

Dads should have to pay for 1/2 the things they agree upon.

I cannot count the number of times BM would sign the boys up for Scouts, or a church activity, or a non-required school function (e.g. rollerskating), and then present DH wthi a bill after. He would get next to no warning that he "owed" money, and since DH was buying all the kids' clothes, haircuts, shoes, etc. in addition to CS, sometimes the money just wasn't there.

Heck, he's dealing with it again. BM registered herself as a chaperone for a very expensive ($1,800/student) trip but hasn't once talked to DH about how they will split OSS' portion of the trip. She just assumes that DH will pay for OSS and she'll pay for herself because that is "half". Now, DH could just say no, but my point is that BM makes (expensive) decisions, tells the kids it's cool, and just expects him to pay. That isn't right or fair, and in intact families, that kind of behavior LEADS to divorce.

Thumper's picture

I can tell you that she will NOT tell you where her ex is taking his residency. THAT IS where he is from my understanding of things. Trust me,  I made the effort  to discuss NeuroSurgeon Residency, Fellowship. Kenny told me she would not tell me because I might try to find her ex boyfriend. THAT was very early on when Kenny first told us this awful situation 'she' was in.

 What area of Neuro is he going into? Will he also have a sub. Also I will say I doubt if he is certified yet. I WOULD Love to know his age too.  

Honestly I tried to have an educated and mature discussion with her. OH well....

Survivingstephell's picture

I have to wonder at all the dad was doing for his other kids already and if he set his own precedent in the judges eyes.  Then pissing the judge off with his bad attitude, I can see him getting stuck with everything.  

I can tell you that when I went thru my divorce, I was at my local library and found an author (name escapes me now 13 years later) that wrote a book about divorced parents being responsible for college and all the extras.  Her arguement was that kids from intact families got all that, so CODs should too.  Divorce shouldn't punish the kids in anyway.  I do believe that was the start of COD's taking precedent over logic and financial reality in this country.  If a parent gets laid off in an intact family, the budget gets modified and things go away.  It should be that way in a divorce situation, but we know its not.  Dads, (mostly) go deep in debt trying to keep up and are not allowed to modify CS and other financial responsiblities.

I've been folllowing this story since she started posting about it and I would have to say that if I found out my dead beat sperm donor that bailed on my kid made it big and was spoiling his other kids, I would go for everything and hope I got a good judge. Seems like she won on both parts.  I bet most of you would do the same thing, even though its not polite to admit it.   


Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

There’s an issue with that logic.

No, kids from intact family don’t always get it all. I know plenty of children who never got to do sports. No, college isn’t mandatory for parents to pay for and even some “rich” ones expect their kid to make it on their own by the time they are an adult. No child has a right to a car. And privet school wasn’t a part of the girl’s life till she was ripped out of her old school a week before Christmas break. I mean really if an INTACT family can do it and she and hubby were masquerading as intact then why didn’t they do it before they saw dollar signs.

There is no precedent. You can’t look at BD’s other children because they have a different mother who actually stayed with their real dad instead of partying it up. That woman has basically been supporting the home while BD is completing his education. He’s a resident still meaning if the kids are going to privet preschools it’s their BM paying for it.

She CHOSE to let him walk away. She CHOSE to ignore that her child had another father and let someone else play dad for 10 years. She admits herself she didn’t want him in the kids life but now the kid “cost more” so now she feels she’s entitled to whatever BD has. She shouldn’t get a single penny. This man wasn’t even the child’s legal parent until a few months ago. She enjoyed all the privileges of being the only parent while denying her child a relationship with real dad because it was easier for her. If it was easy enough before then she should keep it going. After all he only did what she wanted and left her alone.

I still want to know how she’s getting $30,000 a year out of a man who at best is making $60,000.

lieutenant_dad's picture

Oh please. She didn't choose to let him walk away. He admitted in court he wasn't ready to be a dad and walked on his own. He knew DD was his, but he was young and dumb.

Dad have every right to set up CS, or set back money, or do ANYTHING to help OP. He could have gotten a paternity test if he were concerned the baby wasn't his. He knew and chose to ignore the situation. He's reaping what he sowed.

My DH is a teen dad. Know what he did? Took care of his kid. He joined the military less than a year after 9/11. He kept a roof over his kids' heads even after BM left him. He has paid for crap he shouldn't have to pay for. He has done a lot - though not perfectly - because that is just what you do when you knock someone up. You figure it out and you pay for it; you don't run away, even when you're being pushed away.

Whether I agree with OP or this story is irrelevant. What I do agree with is BFs (and all bio parents, for that matter) being required to help support their child. So long as he was a willing participant, he has equal responsibility in the outcome regardless if BM wants to push him away.

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

OP admits she let him walk away and was more than happy to let another man play dad and pretend to be one big happy family. There's more than a few mothers out there who want just that.

BM was more than able when it comes to seeking support of BioDad. She didn' even put him on the birth certificate.

They weren't married and she denied him being the father on the birth certificate. She didn't want him to be dad any more than he didn't want to be. That's on her. And because of those two previous facts he wasn't the child's legal father.

lieutenant_dad's picture

She COULDN'T add him to thr birth certificate. You can't just add anyone you want. You are either the presumptive father through marriage, or a man has to sign a paternity affidavit claiming he is dad. Or there has to be a DNA test and dad is ordered to be added.

Whether she wanted to add a new man to the mix or not is irrelevant. He KNEW he was dad. He could have taken steps to be custodially out of the girl's life but still pay CS as he was responsible. I'm not saying that path would be easy or fun, but it was an available path.

Everyone needs to be responsible for their own choices and decisions, including this man who walked away. The court should have reemed OP a new one, too, for lying to her daughter for so long. However, all because OP made the decision that it was okay for Dad to disappear doesn't mean Dad SHOULD have done it.

One parent shouldn't get to make unilateral decisions about a child once they are born. That includes making the decision that a parent can walk away. That is unfair to the child.

Cooooookies's picture

If you read all of her blogs - she spells out that her DH was all ready to adopt her DD.  UNTIL they found out daddy big bucks was a doctor in training.  That changed their tune really quick.

Now I am all for a parent paying CS for their child(ren).  Lawd knows we don't see any.  HOWEVER kenny's tune only changed when she saw dollar signs from a potential doctor.  Her DH was all set to adopt, now they think going after Daddy Doctor is "what is best."

Sure - what is best for their wallets.  That's what is so annoying.  She was okay with how things were for a decade until she could imagine the $$$Gravy Train$$$ rolling into her pockets.

Thumper's picture

HERESY...we do not know WHAT he said in court. He is not here to agree or disagree with anything Kenny has said.

Of course dad should pay cs.


Survivingstephell's picture

You didn't read my paragraph very well. I did state that in intact families, if their is a layoff or such, things get changed and things go away.  It should happen in Divorced situations too, but it doesn't.  

Livingoutloud's picture

He can’t possibly pay astronomical amounts you described if he is in residence. It’s not happening 

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

Can we all note that here Kenny confirms this man is still in training. It's been brought up MULTIPLE times and she has never once denied that he is still in training. Considering how quick she is to jump at anything else if that changes please note here she's repeatedly refused to say different.

Now that we can see he's not making big bucks. He's getting between 50,000 to 60,000 a year BEFORE taxes and a judge knowingly assigned this man to pay not just CS to the tune of $900 a month but unneeded expenses that he has no say in of $200 for cheer, $30 for gymnastics, half of privet school, over half of medical expenses, half of child care (for a ten year old).

Anyone else see some issues with this…..

Solidshadow7's picture

I believe the judge came down hard on BD because he requested no visitation. I believe the judge came down harder on BD because he hadn't paid support for the last 10 years.

I know a guy who knocked a girl up on a one night stand in another state and didn't find out until his daughter was 4. The BM didn't file for child support, but she applied for welfare and the department of revenue came after him. He ended up with a support order for 65% of his income for a child he never wants to meet. And this was not the BM pushing for money, this was a standard filing from the department of revenue to offset the costs of the BM's welfare. So I believe it.

However- I am the daughter of a physician. I did not go to private school. It was made clear to me that I was going to be responsible for myself, and I've had a job since I was 14. I paid for my car, I paid my car insurance, and I paid for college. It's ridiculous for people to assume that doctors are simply going to do all these things for their children just because they are their children. Some doctors actually want to raise their children to be functioning members of society and not useless trust fund babies with silver spoons in their mouths.
So, yes I do believe there is a SEVERE double standard that children from divorced families are entitled to all of these things when children from intact families often don't get them.

s-kill me's picture

This story is absolute bullshit.  There is no way a judge would do this.  They don't have as much "discretion" as you think.  And if for some reason this DID happen, it won't last.  If this story is real (and it clearly isn't), then dad can just appeal this.  It won't be upheld.