HOUSE OF HORROR 2020
Alright here it goes. First I'll give you the players in this game and some background info. This might help with some advice I'm needing.
Me: 39 yo mother of 2. My daughter is 21 and lives on her own. Self employed, independent, overall a joy to be around.
My son is 20. Joined the National Guard at 18, has one daughter who is 1, and another baby on the way. He lives a state over with his gf.
My bf: 38 yo with 6 kids between 2 women. Ages are 18-D, 17-S, 16-D, 15-S, 13-S, and 12-D. At the moment I am housing my BF and the 18, 15, and 12 year olds. 15-S lives with us on a full time basis.
Alright. Here it goes. Lord help me.
Started dating BF in 2014. He moved in with me, with out any of his kids. My son moved back with his father shortly after BF moved in. My daughter stayed and things went very well. When my daughter turned 18, she moved into her own house. Then, it was just us two. Life was good. The house was clean and quiet, Bills were paid. We didn't have a worry in the world.
Flash forward to now, 2020.
My BF 15-yo son has lived with us for almost 2 years. He's a handful but he's a good kid. He and BF butt heads akot, but he's never been a problem for me. We have a great understanding. Last year I was finally able to become a homeowner. The BF and I found the perfect house together. Perfect for the 3 of us. 2bd 1bath. I excitedly went out and bought new furniture, rugs, the whole 9! And I take a ton of pride in my house and how it looks.
Ok, got a little side tracked but I'm trying to paint a picture. It might end up being an abstract one.
Back to 2020. At the end of February his 18-D ended up on our doorstep. Literally. He calls me while I'm in the hospital recovering from a surgery related to my kidney transplant and tells me his daughter will be staying with us for a week or so. As much as I wanted to scream NO, I'm like...ugh whatever. She made herself comfortable on the couch. Turns out she has to be the messiest, nastiest, smelliest person on earth. My front room became overran with trash, laundry, and food wrappers. They end up arguing over it and he put her out. We had to spend all day cleaning and sanitizing the living room.
Now enters his 12-D. The mom drops her off for the weekend and since Coronavirus hit, she hasn't been here to pick her up. She drops bags of junk food off at 10pm and hangs it from our front door handle. She's just as messy as her 18 yo sister on a slightly smaller scale.
So....2 weeks after putting 18-D out, her mom drops her back off with all her bags again. She says she just can't deal with the nastiness.
One house. 2br. 1 bath. 5 people. It's crammed to capacity and my patience is thin.
The girls have now became so comfortable that they cook when they want. Don't clean up after themselves. Don't even ask them to do dishes. My living room looks like a homeless shelter blew up. I have mice now. And the BF won't do anything about it!!! Not a thing.
I have refused to do any dishes that I did not create myself. I do not do laundry unless it's mine. I no longer cook meals or buy food for the house. I'm hiding towels and all of my personal hygiene products. I have had it to the point of tears. Anytime I bring it up to my BF it's an argument that lasts days!!!! I don't even want to be in my own home and have considered finding a studio apartment just to have some peace of mind.
Here is where it's tricky. We all live in the house I bought. However my BF has paid half of the mortgage the entire time we have been here and feels he is entitled to half of the house, therefore he is not leaving. Legally can I put him and his 3 kids out? Should I move out and have him sign a lease? Because at this point, I could care less about MY house.
These last few months has put so much stress on our relationship and even more stress on me.
Please help me before I go crazy.
PS, he has a severe case of guilty dad syndrome due to the fact that him and his ex lost custody of the first 3 kids to the state and they were shortly adopted out to a family. The adopted family raised those 3 in a good home and provided them opportunities that he never could. I know he carries guilt over it but he also needs to step up and be a man now more than ever.