New to this forum.
Hello all, I am new here and found this while searching about dealing with SD's. So I will start by explaining what brought me here,
I am 40, have 2 children from previous marriage of 20 years. They are 23 and 21. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 6 years and found out a week ago I am pregnant. So in trying to wrap my mind around that, I was told last night that SD 11 now wants to live with us. She has been living with BF mom since she was 5. That was because of circumstances at the time. Her mother died when she was a baby. SD has been raised by grandma for over 6 years, never wanting to live with us. Different school districts being one issue. So being raised by grandparents she has been catered to. She is 11. She has to be told when to shower, dress, brush hair , that is IF grandma doesn't brush it for her which is rare. She won't pick out own clothes and she wont pick up after herself. When she does eat , it is either pizza, hotdogs or fast food. She basically is allowed to drink her meals. Pop, chocolate milk or sweet tea. If anything is cooked that she doesnt like, grandma or BF will make her what she wants on top of whats already been made. And even if she doesn't finish, she Then gets junk food. Then after she eats, the plate, cup etc are left for someone else to clean up. She was given a cellphone for her birthday in November from an uncle, and she is on it from time she wakes til bedtime. Where she lives now she doesn't have a very good signal. So grandma and daughter show up here Friday unbeknownst to me that they were even coming to stay. And last night 11 yo decided she wanted to move in. When asked why the change of heart all she said was, better internet here. She isn't happy about the new baby and I understand that, however now BF is upset with me because I'm not on board with such a big change all of a sudden. I try to explain between the hours he is working right now (8am-dark) and me spending 90% of my time in bed from not feeling good, I dont think it's a good idea. I wasn't consulted about her staying here even tho I would be the one with her all the time, I feel like we'll now since I'm pregnant and not working because of Covid19 I'm just expected to take on the role. I don't want to have to reparent an 11yo that has no responsibility. And BF is type where she does no wrong so why is it a big deal? I feel bad for feeling this way, but I also dont feel it's fair..any advice? Thanks for reading!