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Why is it always me?

kayjoy21's picture

Is it always going to be my fault? I have 2 SD and one is okay with me and I think the other would love for me to be ran over by a car. When me and my DH got together we all got along just fine no big problems, but kids will be kids a pull stuff. Now one of my SD9 is telling her moms side of the family bad lies about me that I yell at her, make fun of her, an just down right mean to her and the list goes on. She likes me just fine when my pocket book is open and I am buying her stuff now I have stopped cause she has now told me and my DH she doesn't like me and never will, why do I want to do for someone who doesn't like me. Her mom hangs on to every word even she knows her daughter is telling lies. I normally don't care what people think of me but this bugs the CRAP out of me! Why? Any tips any word of advice?


Iwantmylifebackj's picture

WOW... you SD was trained to do all that stuff at the age of 9. Sucks for her. I bet she is not well liked in school. Oh.. Well. Ask your DH, if he does not like you. He is playing both sides, you know what you have to do.

VAStepMom's picture

I would honestly consider the fact that she may be getting some outside "pressure". I found that my SD did the same thing, when her BM influenced her. They struggle with balancing their feelings on both sides.

Close the pocketbook until things improve.

I think it is always good to confront "rumors" head on with the skids. Be nice, be cautious but concerned. They need to know that you "heard" these things and want to know if they are true...... and that they need to know that things will get back to you and they hurt you. (DH needs to be involved in the convo with his DD. If he will not do it, by all means have the conversation yourself. But do not intimidate the poor girl. Remember, she is just a child.... try the gentle approach.

Try that and see how it goes.

Good Luck.

tjmamma's picture

I have been through that with my SD who is now 18, I tried everything to have a relationship with her, unfortunately, you can't make someone like you. From what I have learned, I would not go out of my way for her, when and if she decides she wants a relationship and to be respectful and treat you correctly is when I would open up more to her. When she decides or wants something, explain to her how she made you feel. I did the opposite and pretended my SD did not bother me and continued to go above and beyond for her and just got slapped in the face, my SD is 18 now and does not have or want anything to do with me. Sad