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Really??? We could have use all that stuff!

kayjoy21's picture

My lost post I told you about us having problems with my 2 SD well we talked to the oldest 9 and things are back on the right track for now with her our youngest 6 still having problems she doesn't want to come see us anymore she doesn't like it here. My DH has always siad he will never force them to come if they don't want to which I'm glad cause when they are here and unhappy just drags us all down. Well DH talked to BM one night when the kids were he she was almost in tears saying the child support didn't help much all it paid for was child care, she was saying she doesn't have money for clothes for the kids and people are having to feed them cause they don't have any food at home. Well I fell for it hook line and sinker! I got her a box of food a big bag of meat and a trash bag full of clothes for the girls, I felt like that's what we needed to do cause they are my DH responsibly. Then when she gets the girls back all this stuff is given to her then the next time my DH talks to BM she tells us she gets food stamps and she gave some of the food away and then takes the kids for a night on the town! We are just making it we got her stuff together and she does that its BS!!!!! What should we do for next time? Have any of you had this problem?


alwaysme's picture

Well you have learn't a valuable lesson. You give her nothing more than the child support the so called fairness of government tells you to give. Nothing more ever. What she then does with it is her problem. She clearly was not greatful for the help you gave her and now she has done her dash with you. Sucks for her i say. Next time you hear one of her sob stories tell her you already heard her cry wolf.

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

You let her know that if she wants to forfeit custody of the kids until she can get herself on her feet, you will gladly take them off her hands and that will enable her to work multiple jobs, get a smaller place, finish her education, etc. Then when you get custody you hit her for child support until you bleed her dry. That's what you do.

Rags's picture

Nope, not any more. We no longer have that problem because we let people suffer the consequences of their own bad decisions and don't let them play our heart strings.

You and your DH are supporting your family. You make good decisions on how to use the resources that you have. BM does not and manipulates others for her own benefit. Hopefully you have learned that BM can not be trusted and not to let her play the guilt card.

My wife and I had this talk with our son last night at dinner. We have helped several of my wife's family over the years. On each of those occasions our help was not used in the way that we were told it would be used. So .... we don't help. We let those who make poor decisions learn from and suffer the consequences of their decisions. We told our son that people who talk about how things always go bad for them and that they are less fortunate are in fact not less fortunate they make bad decisions and do not learn from them.

My son will struggle with the guilt of pathetic requests from his SpermClan for the rest of his life. His worthless POS SpermIdiot will call him for money, his SpermGrandMa will call for help paying for things for his three younger also out-of-wedlock half sibs, he will be asked to pay for their college. Hopefully he will have the strength and self worth to say no and to not let his SpermClan drag him in to victim-hood like they choose to live.

Please do not let BM take advantage of you any further. Do what you can for SD with CS and when she is with you. Otherwise let SD learn the truth of her mother via her own experience with BM.

Good luck.