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BM meddling in DH's family

Kattkatt's picture

BM has been getting all bffs with DH's Sister-In-Law, to the point where we cannot talk to SIL, Nephew, or DH's brother. Never did like SIL, but i am really disappointed in brother, though that he married a catty backstabby bitch might have been an indication of his character. How does anyone else handle these kinds of things? BM has no right to meddle, but we can't stop her, there is no reason legally she can't talk to SIL, even if what she does is disrupt our lives. We can't go to family thanksgiving or holidays, because we don't want to see SIL or Bro. If we even pass on the street BM hears a twisted version of the event! Dh's parents are upset by this, too, and DH's mom wants to chew out bro for allowing BM to ruin their relationship, but DH has asked them not to get involved, and we will just avoid being near them. So sad! Hurts DH, hurts his parents! SIL is in hog heaven, because she is at the center of dramadramadrama which she just LOOOVES.
What is with these chicks who just feed on crazy fighting and snarky cruelty?! I thought after middle school or high school you pretty much grew the fuck up and left that shit behind.

Comments

furkidsforme's picture

Why would you skip a family outing because your SIL is a bitch and Bro is an idiot? I say go, be endlessly pleasant, be the bigger party (everyone will notice, and hold your chins up.

Kattkatt's picture

It's not that we can't go, and I am getting huge amounts of practice being "the better person". It's that if SIL is there she reports every detail to BM, except warped and fucked up. Example: DH was talking to bro about how we have both been doing a weight loss program and have lost a bunch of weight.SIL is insecure about her weight, so she tells BM we were being "inappropriate" and making "fat jokes", and that our "unhealthy attitude" is a bad influence on SIL's bio-son13. All a total crock of shit, but it gets BM all wound up and she goes on a tirade to DH which can go on for days, she will bring it up as though she was there, as though the lies SIL told her were facts, and we are suddenly fat-shamers (irony! I am still a chubbette! I am entirely body-positive, and we both took on a weight loss program for our health, not beauty!).
It just isn't worth it. I can say "hi" to SIL and it will get back to BM as though i spit in her face.

bearcub25's picture

Same with DSO. His brother is just led around by his balls and SIL isn't a catch by any means.

She is still tight with BM. SIL-a actually killed DSOs whole family Christmas get together b/c of her actions last year. She told other SIL-b that she wasn't doing Christmas that year....the woman sings in a church choir and very involved with that and not doing Christmas??

SD told me and I told other SIL-b that SIL-a bought presents for BM and went there for dinner. DSO's family are not close in the least. No wonder he is so attached to mine.

Kattkatt's picture

It just makes me sad, i guess. Dh's parents are super people, his mom hates BM, and his dad wouldn't have her in the house. But this wedge between DH and his bro hurts them. They aren't keen on SIL but they keep peace, and SILs bioson is a nice enough kid, for a teenager, but not biorelated to any ofDHs family. The nephew is still accepted and loved, and bro isn't actively bad, that we can tell, but SIL is an unrepentant appearance-obsessed bitch, and bro either doesn't notice or doesn't care. I never thought life would be so complicated is all. My family isn't like this. Beee