Dec 13th - I love my daughter <3
Kat is such a funny girl sometimes but so dead on. We were coming home from the movies last night and she was moving my cell phone from her seat and noticed a text from her father. She asks right away “why is he still messaging you? What about the restraining order?” I sighed and thought to myself,'God I hate that man for telling her about it', and then quickly said to her, “I just don’t bother running to the police every time your father does something, it's so embarrassing.” Kat “Yeah but you can’t keep living like this. He shouldn’t be contacting you and harrassing you if he’s got a restraining order.” Me “I know, I know…I do record each incident with him on my computer at work…I just don’t want to take them down to the police station because he’ll go to jail.” Kat “well a lot of good this stuff is to you on your computer at work. He keeps doing it because he knows you won’t go to the cops…why do you care what other people think?” I told her, “it’s not what other people think, but I just don’t want you to have to live with the fact that your mother put your father in jail and then plus have to listen to what everyone says about it all of the time …. He’s doing it, not us and yet we have to live with the stupid comments from everyone and get judged for it.”
And then Kat looks at me and pauses for a moment and says “Mom, I don’t care what other people say. I know it’s not your fault. Dad can’t keep doing this to you and it’s never going to stop until you do something about it. It’s his fault if he goes to jail, not yours”.
God I love that child <3
It’s funny how we as parents think that we need to take the sword to protect our kids but all we are really doing is just killing ourselves for nothing. We think we are doing the right thing and protecting them, but they are much stronger than we know. Our fear of hurting them outweighs our own personal safety and health.
Next time he contacts me, I’m going to the cops. That’s my promise to myself and to my daughter.