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Dec 13th - I love my daughter <3

KatsMom37's picture

Kat is such a funny girl sometimes but so dead on. We were coming home from the movies last night and she was moving my cell phone from her seat and noticed a text from her father. She asks right away “why is he still messaging you? What about the restraining order?” I sighed and thought to myself,'God I hate that man for telling her about it', and then quickly said to her, “I just don’t bother running to the police every time your father does something, it's so embarrassing.” Kat “Yeah but you can’t keep living like this. He shouldn’t be contacting you and harrassing you if he’s got a restraining order.” Me “I know, I know…I do record each incident with him on my computer at work…I just don’t want to take them down to the police station because he’ll go to jail.” Kat “well a lot of good this stuff is to you on your computer at work. He keeps doing it because he knows you won’t go to the cops…why do you care what other people think?” I told her, “it’s not what other people think, but I just don’t want you to have to live with the fact that your mother put your father in jail and then plus have to listen to what everyone says about it all of the time …. He’s doing it, not us and yet we have to live with the stupid comments from everyone and get judged for it.”

And then Kat looks at me and pauses for a moment and says “Mom, I don’t care what other people say. I know it’s not your fault. Dad can’t keep doing this to you and it’s never going to stop until you do something about it. It’s his fault if he goes to jail, not yours”.
God I love that child <3

It’s funny how we as parents think that we need to take the sword to protect our kids but all we are really doing is just killing ourselves for nothing. We think we are doing the right thing and protecting them, but they are much stronger than we know. Our fear of hurting them outweighs our own personal safety and health.

Next time he contacts me, I’m going to the cops. That’s my promise to myself and to my daughter. 


KatsMom37's picture

Sorry about the confusion; her father is my ex husband, I was with him for 20 years.

I am leaving my bf of 2 1/2 years. He was my first relationship after my husband and I seperated.

And i'm sorry if you feel like it is scripted; I am using this blog to record my daily thoughts and things that happen so that I can track my progress as I go. Maybe this isn't the right place for it, but I thought a blog was just that.

KatsMom37's picture

It's a long story but essentially he is a very violent man and when he wouldn't leave me alone even after 3 years had passed, I ended up filing for a restraining order against him at the request of a cop friend of mine who was present during one incident. With his past domestic violence charges, coupled with the evidence of harrassing me with phone calls, texts, showing up at my work, at my gym and my bank, (basically stalking) and threats of violence, the judge went for the extended RO as opposed to the minimum lighter RO that is usually set on a basic first time RO.

KatsMom37's picture

She's 18 right now living with me and wants nothing to do with her father; her decision not mine. She's an only child.

If it was my choice, she'd never see him again, but she's an adult and that is her father and she just has to figure that out for herself.

DaizyDuke's picture

Just a thought, but if you are concerned enough about your ExH to file a restraining order, I would suggest removing descriptive names from your blogs.

there is a whole "crew" of trollers around here and I wouldn't want your ex to cause more trouble for you Wink

KatsMom37's picture

RO is already in place and has been for a while. None of the names are actual names; the names have been changed for privacy.

whatwasithinkin's picture

really scrubed? because I could almost say to you that this would and could be a conversation on any given day that I could hold with my very mature 14 year old daughters. it is a result of a good relationship between Mom and Kat.

i think what you are seeing is a different writing style

very wise girl ya got there, wise beyond her years and really sometimes I feel bad for our daughters because they have had to learn to be wise beyond their years.

KatsMom37's picture

Thanks whatwasithinking Smile I always said that she is my greatest accomplishment in life <3 She's a great girl and I'm a proud momma.