You are here

First blog post - bad timing

karmapolice's picture

Sorry, I know this is bad timing for someone new to introduce themselves after the Crew controversy over the past couple of days. However, since I got off on the wrong foot on this site by my first post ever expressing sympathy to her for the loss of her dog, I figured I should start my own blog to introduce myself.

I live with my wonderful FDH who has 3 kids: SD9, SS8, and SD7. They come over EOW. We have had a few rough spots during our last 3 years together but we are doing pretty well. His kids are very nice and sweet, and I'm fond of them all, especially SD7.

A few kinks we've experienced along the way mostly involve me trying to work out what my role should be involving his kids. I've decided the best way is for me to just be like an "aunt" or "big sister" to them, but not take any parental role with them. The problem with this is, at times, when his kids do things I don't like that aren't corrected by their dad, such as act bratty, talk back, or have a nasty attitude, it's difficult for me to just sit there while this behavior is allowed to continue. I don't want to correct them myself because I don't want to be their parent, so I just leave the situation and go in our room to get away for a while, and I sometimes end up being annoyed at FDH for being so laid back. But little by little, we are working it out, and I'm letting him know how I feel.

Luckily, my FDH is very supportive, wants my opinion, and cares about how I feel and how the kids treat me. So far, the kids and I have gotten along very well. They like me and accept me in their life, and I like them.

I've lurked on here for a long time and have gotten a lot of advice just from reading your experiences, so I'm not sure how much I have to contribute to this site, but I hope to post from time to time. I'm glad to be here. Smile


FeuilleMorte's picture

Hi! Welcome -- well, I'm new myself, but at least I'm not the newest Smile

I feel for you -- my DH is also very laidback, very zen, including at times when I think he doesn't need to be. My skids are good, intelligent kids, so it's not often a problem, and like you, I've consciously decided to never parent (they are 17) -- but still, he does occasionally get the stink-eye from me when he just sits there and doesn't respond to their (rare) bad behavior!

karmapolice's picture

Thank you all! Yes, Feuille, I think I've given my FDH the stinkeye a few times also. Most recently when SD9, who is the most spoiled and bratty of the group (but still a good kid), came to FDH and I crying while we were out at the park because the kids were playing tag, she was IT, and she couldn't catch anyone. FDH tends to indulge her crying by going "awwwwww" and giving her a hug and kiss, while I'm sitting there thinking "are you kidding me?!" I absolultely do not respond to crying, whining, or complaining from kids over such stupid things. Especially from an almost 10 year old! LOL

karmapolice's picture

Hi Anywho, no we haven't set a date yet. He's been paying off debt for the last 4 years that was acquired during his first marriage. He should be done early next year. We will probably wait until that mess is finished before we start making plans.

Thanks for the welcome Smile