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About to walk out

Justone's picture

Im literally about to walk out, SS5 has not stopped talking and doesnt stop talking. I have a new born and im trying to get stuff done. I need some advice, i love DH very much but if this is going to be our lives im not sure i want it like this. The child DOES NOT stop talking and im not exaggerating. It is too much im going mad. I dont want this. He is so rude. I want to grab my things and go which makes me sad because i love DH very much.

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Justone's picture

Worried if i walk out i'll take baby with me and tell them to manage their own lives. Please tell me it gets better. I dont want to walk out but i can currently hear DH getting angry because he is still talking and now making a fuss over his pijamas. Nothing is good enough for this child. I was sat eating my dinner and the child says "what are you doing" he does this 100 times a day and acys dumn about it im so fed up and feel horrible for feeling like this. So much pent up frustration over always having to act like i dont live here so that he leaves me alone. He evens keeps talking to me when i try to go to the toilet. Im so done. I can hear him brushing his teeth and he is saying 'haha' 'haha' omgggg

Hesitant to try's picture

Justone, becasue he's only 5, I'm wondering if he might have something diagnosable. ADHD perhaps or something on the spectrum that makes him chatter non-stop? I realize that wouldn't make it any less irritating but understanding why he does this would go a long way to figuring out what can be done about it.

Sounds very frustrating!

lieutenant_dad's picture

How far post-partum are you? How much help are you getting with the new baby? Is anyone checking in on your mental health?

I think it would be fine to go for a drive with the baby and clear your head. I also think it would be good, after you clear your head, to write out what you need to make your life better and assign some of those needs to be managed by your DH, starting with getting his son examined. Write it all out and have a calm conversation with your DH in the very near future about this.

CajunMom's picture

Please! For your own good and the good of your baby, do what Lieutenant_dad advises. It will NOT get better without some input and intervention from you. Even then, it may not get good but at least you will have tried. I'm so sorry you are struggling like this with a new born. I can't even imagine.

ksmom14's picture

I have the same question as above, how old is your new baby?

Not to say that your SS isn't being a pain, because at 5 I think most children are, however having a newborn can REALLY amplify issues that didn't seem like a big deal before.

Hormones after having a baby, probably for at least 3 months are crazy, and can make you feel crazy. I think it's important to talk about your frustrations and issues, but I would suggest not making any major decisions (like ending your marriage) without giving it more time if you've just had a baby.

futurobrillante99's picture

I agree with lieutenant and ksmom - you're probably suffering from some kind of post partum depression AND the resentment of not getting to enjoy your new baby without some other woman's crotch dropping constantly talking.

If you cannot get out for a drive, send your husband and his first child off on an errand. Crap like that would make me snap!

Evil3's picture

I went back and read your previous posts. I noticed that your SS always needs to be the centre of attention and diverts your attention away from your baby to look at him or something he has or is doing. This is exactly why your SS won't stop talking.

What does your DH say? Does he just let your SS constantly yap and interupt people?

You don't have a SS problem. You have a DH problem. He is the one who needs to tell his kid to simmer down, stop interupting, etc. If your DH is at the stage of only telling your SS and it isn't working, it's time for consequences.

I would have a talk with your DH and tell him that you're going crazy. Don't let him try to convince you it's your hormones. Anyone living with a constantly attention-wrangling, constantly yapping child would be stressed and anxious. If your DH doesn't take you seriously, then take your bio and get a hotel room for a couple of days and let your DH be one on one with his exhausting kid.

I totally get it. When my SKs (29 and 31) were 5 and 7, they yapped constantly and had no control over their voices. They were constantly yammering, jumping around and had no volume control. By the end of the day, my ears would be ringing.

Bear92's picture

It's okay to tell them to go away sometimes. I've learned that if you don't say it, they won't do it lol. My mom even did it to me as a child and she was a great parent and we're still close. 

Wicked stepmo.'s picture

It's not abnormal for a young child to behave this way especially when they are no longer the center of attention. I would tell DH to take SS and give you regular breaks and that you need this for your own health. 

New_to_this's picture

I also think you may be suffering from post partum depression.  I felt similar annoyances from SS when my first child was born, but SS was much older than 5. I knew that my emotions were on overdrive and although I felt unbelievably trapped I told myself that I wouldn't make any big decisions (like leaving DH or moving) for a full year. It took many months before my "baby blues" fully went away. They went away much more quickly after the second and I was also better prepared knowing those feelings would come.

 And, my DS is now 5, so I can imagine how frustrating it is for you to constantly be around a 5 year old (they are exhausting, plus you have a newborn, and if you are in my position where there is no school or friends from COVID, you are both their parent and playmate). DS can be a handful and also wants to be center of attention. He loves to start talking as soon as I get into a conversation with DH. We address it of course, but I think it's typical for 5 year olds.

Oxforddad's picture

MY Step son does this too, he is super annoying.  Even my wife's 92 year old aunt told her that as much as she loves her son , he needs to stay the H3LL out of adult converstions.  He even tries to give advice like he is the Oracle of Knowledge. 

My wife's sister tells him stright out to shut-up and no one asked him, I ignore him as I do not believe aggression does any good, but my DW only chases him off occasionally.

My answer is when he walks in the room I just leave even in the middle of a conversation between me and my wife.  

 

Try that...