Absolutely he needs to put his wishes in writing.. There could very well be legal stipulations that would automatically entitle his son to something... so if he wants to exclude him.. he needs to make that legally happen.

Understandably he’s angry right now, eventually that might wear off and he might come back around to wanting to try and reach out to his son, or at least be indifferent.

I know for my DH it took about two year for the anger to wear off.  Once it did he became open to having a relationship with Spawn…if she wanted one.  They did reconnect after about four years briefly but Covid happened so that put a stop to things pretty quickly.  Then Spawn went MIA again until just recently when she needed something.  DH provided that and hasn’t heard from her since.  At this point I think he is just indifferent and feels like if she wants to be involved with him fine, if not then fine. 

I think it's been mentioned a few times in other posts... perhaps your DH should leave SS $1 to avoid him contesting the will. *unknw*

DH and I decided to disinherit SS10 from our wills. We left additional money aside for my FIL to give to SS once he turns 18, if and only if, he maintains a relationship with us. If SS doesn't and fully alienates out, that money is to go to DD. I didn't want a will granting SS anything in the event that he hates us in a few years. 

Our attorney advised us to clearly state in our will that SS is disinherited so it doesn't appear to be an oversight. So we did. It states that "SS10 has been left out of the will intentionally, not due to lack of love or relationship, but that he has been provided for in other ways such as child support and BM/GF and that DH will continue to provide support via social security death benefits as outlined by law." By adding that statement, our attorney said it is impossible for BM or SS to contest. Maybe a thought if your DH is so set on disinheriting SS. 

DH has mentioned getting his will done, soon, especially since I told him if he leaves it up to the state with no will then very likely his daughters will get a portion and he thinks that's too much for them (if OSD will get anything but a couple hundred $$) and wants it to be very specific. I keep reminding him the sooner the better....

I also told my sister about my will (she's the main inheritor if DH and I both go at the same time) and that she would need to get her butt up to our house ASAP in that event because you can be sure that OSD and BM would be claiming "but he's her Father and she deserves it!" 

One thing I'll give my DH: when he was done, he was done. He detaches and drops the rope fully. He doesn't chase for crumbs. I had a harder time letting go, especially of YSD.

His daughters have been excluded from our wills. They won't be rewarded for their mistreatment of us. I'm sure I'll be blamed for that as well, but it's really just their karma.

I agree with the comments about being specific on out-willing a kid. It needs to be spelled out. 

Do you guys have the other "items" in place? Besides wills, DH and I also have POAs, Medical POAs, Living Wills, Executor/Executrix, etc. We also have pre-paid burial policies in place along with CLEAR instructions of our "funeral" wishes. Leave no stone unturned in StepHell. We were fortunate that our attorney had been through a nasty divorce himself and had a lot of insight of things we didnt even think of. While DH has not out-willed any of his kids, our wills are very specific (like all titled vehicles are mine). 

When we had our wills done after the birth of DD we were advised that if there was unequal divison of assets between his two daughters, SD could contest the will and have a high chance of succeeding. Even if DH clearly states that DD is a minor and would need more support until she reaches adulthood. Apparently it doesn't matter if DH has given let's say $500k to SD over thr course of her lifetime and $1 to DD. If he leaves $1 to SD and $500k to DD, SD could potentially walk away with $250k minus court costs and lawyer fees since she's in the same class of beneficiary. 

I'm sure your attorney will advise how to best structure your wills and it sucks that these things need to be taken into consideration but it's always better to have the chat and set things up now rather than later. We have a policy of updating our wills at least every 5 years so if things change down the track we can reflect it in our wills. We keep the door open for reconciliation but plan for reality. 

But posts and comments here are lighting my fire. Im now researching and reading up on the terminology for California Estate Law. As well as Divorce Law because you never know...

drama.

Better safe than to avoid it and get crushed while you are trying to deal with that loss of your mate.