Trying really hard to not get consumed in SS drama
Y'all. We finally got the paperwork from our attorney for this damn Journal Entry to "solidify" visitation with SS since BM's attorney ONCE AGAIN isn't doing his job. I swear to DOG I am going to file a complaint with the bar.
Just reading the order has me pissed off 6 ways to sunday. Just seeing some of the things in that order again, which because the judge in podunk hasn't got a set of balls and won't do his actual job and hear a case, it makes me want to vomit.
It is the only option. DH has to sign it. We have to get this submitted before DH can file for contempt again. At this point I just want BM to freaking pay us back for all of the $$ we have been out due to her refual to send SS for spring break.
I really don't care if SS doesn't come out to us ever again anymore. BM won that battle. I have walls up now and don't plan on letting them down around SS again, probably ever. DH doesn't think he will see SS again. He is broken but seems to be coming to terms with it.
I just want to be able to either plan on him being here or not plan on it. I want to be able to buy freaking plane tickets while they are reasonably priced. I want to know what dates I can plan our ski trip before Christmas. Do I have to wait until after the 21st when SS is supposed to be here or can we leave the 20th, which is better for the rest of the entire family? I don't care if he is here or not, I just want to plan things.
I can't just count him out until we actually hear from BM that she isn't sending him. AARRRGGGGHHHH!!!!! I hate this shit.
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He isn't coming for Christmas
He isn't coming for Christmas - buy your tickets and count him out. BUT, you will see him again. DH will see him again. He loves DH, he told him so at court. He's just trapped in BM's looniness right now.
It won't be for years, but DH will see him again. Leave the door open, but don't wait by it. Live your lives and take care of yourselves so that when he shows up again (he will), DH is healthy and thriving.
^^^^^^^^^^^^YESSSS everything
^^^^^^^^^^^^YESSSS everything Tog said. You can't continue living life "waiting". I know this is painful but still book the trip as if he's not going and try your best to live life happy and free from being limited on what you can & can not do....
If you don’t agree with it
why sign it ? Then spend more time and money to fight it. You should hold out until you get an order that more to your liking. It’s better to spend a few month more now, then years fighting an order you sign. Most likely, you will have to Waite a year to two, three to refile to change the order.
Ahhhh I so feel your pain. We
Ahhhh I so feel your pain. We travel a lot and I’ve almost had an aneurysm at times waiting until the last minute for BM and/or the SDs to confirm if they’ll grace us with their presence or not. These last couple of trips I’ve just gone ahead and booked the rest of us as if SDs weren’t coming. This led to them having to take different flights than us one time AND they had to sleep on a pull out sofa, and another time DH just told them it was too late and they should have given us a straight answer sooner. It sucks, but I honestly think that’s the best way to handle it.
Buy ss a refundable ticket
Buy ss a refundable ticket and file a contempt charge if she doesn't send him. I'm sure your DH will see SS again, he won't be a kid and beholden to ridiculous family court rulings forever.
If it works for everyone in
If it works for everyone in the family to go on the 20th, then go. DH can stay behind and meet you all on the 21st - with or without SS.
I know that y'all are
I know that y'all are probably right and that he won't be coming out.
I thought about this a lot last night and I think I have the only real solution for this Christmas. When DH has his weekly call with SS- see what he says about skiing. If he is at all excited and wants to go, I will book it so we leave on the 22nd (Our court ordered date for him to fly is the 21st). If he is all- "I am not coming or I don't care", We will leave the 20th and just have him fly in on the 23rd instead. Yes, that will mean that DH will loose 2 days with SS, who we haven't had in what will be a year and a half, but this is also where natural consequences come in. "SS, you said you weren't interested. Sorry you missed out on this trip. Hopefully you will show more interest in next years vacation".
I have looked into refundable tickets, you have to give them 24hrs notice of cancellation- BM would never actually put in writing that she isn't taking him to the airport. Trip insurance is also out, we tried that for spring break. You have to have a qualifying event and unfortunately a HCBM is not qualifying... Even if she is worse than most diseases!