Sudden urgency for SS's graduation
I am really struggling to be supportive of my hubs right now. He suddenly is all about doing something for SS18's graduation (that's in 2 days!). He was so mad at me last night because I flat out said that you don't want my opinion on what to say or send to him. He said that I just needed to support him. I yelled... probably the only time I have ever yelled at my husband and said don't you dare say that. I have given and sacrificed and supported you for the last 8 years fighting for your kid. I have done all the leg work for court, I have planned, booked tickets, vacations, everything! I have done nothing but be supportive and I just don't have anything left to give him.
This kid accused me of abuse. Hasn't spoken to his dad in 2 years. Has lied in court. Said that we had him driving us around bar hopping when he was 13 (we don't bar hop and we sure as hell don't let 13 yr olds drive!). Done nothing but be his mooommmyy's little puppet and break his dad's heart. We have spent over 100K in court battles just to be in his life and "he refuses to get on a plane" to see his dad.
F that kid.
But, I understand DH wants to do something... whatever. I just don't have the emotional capacity to be really involved in it. It's his kid. Not mine, that has been made crystal clear. I'm not even stepmom. I'm just "dad's new wife"... that has been around since he was 10.
I e-mailed DH this morning and told him to pick up a card on his way home and we can send a passport application and the checks for the state department and post office. Tell him that he has a plane ticket waiting to visit his dad in Japan whenever he is ready.
In my mind, if he get's a passport in general it means he is leaving his shit town and will be a better person for it. Travel is important. If he actually decides to see his dad in Japan, even better. But if not we aren't just giving empty cash- there is a purpose. I didn't say this to DH but that is my line of thinking. I don't know what else to do. I want to support my husband but I don't want to support his last ditch groveling to be in his son's life efforts. Does that make sense?