How many of you skipped your stepkid's graduation? How many of you had a spouse that didn't attend their child's graduation?
Our Problem: DH made rank a couple of weeks ago, which means new orders for him. Luckily, we are staying in our area and my kids will get you finish out high school here and OSS22 can stay on with his programs. We also don't have to give up our house (with only a 2.25% interest rate!). So all great news, with the exception that there is about a 99% chance that DH will be doing underway's and possibly be deploying April/May next year. We have a vacation planned with about 30 people joining us in April for my 40th. DH thinks he has a shot of being approved to go if the deployment hasn't started yet. But, SS's graduation will be 2 weeks later and DH would not be allowed to attend both even if the deployment is delayed.
He is feeling guilty already if he chooses one over the other. The vacation will have all our families, including DH's mom and sister's. Graduation, I won't be attending with him as SS sees me as "the problem between his parents". I don't want to detract from the day in any way, so it is just easier to remove myself from the situation and MIL can attend with DH if he is able to go. I don't think SS will even acknowledge him if DH shows. He has been almost 100% no contact for years unless he is physically with us, which hasn't happened in almost a year. He won't even respond to a simple text, I don't see him running to give his dad a hug on his graduation.
I personally think going to graduation is a mistake. SS has made is clear that he doesn't want anything to do with DH. I think that one day SS will regret how he acts and maybe DH showing up could be a positive memory one day, but not any time soon. So, does DH give up something he would enjoy with family that loves him and wants to be in his life or pass on his son's graduation? Not an easy choice by any stretch of the imagination but I do think that the choice is pretty obvious.