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Freaking SS20 this morning

justmakingthebest's picture

So about a month ago we were getting SS20's (Autistic, lives with us full time, BM not in the picture at all, tells everyone I am mom) blood work done. We found out his cholesterol was through the roof. Like 60 yr old smoker. The doctor is giving us 6 months to get him on a downward track before we get him on meds because he is so young. It is probably genes, his great grandfather had like 16 heart attacks before he died, grandpa died of a heart attack, DH is forever borderline with high cholesterol- but he runs 3-6 miles daily and keeps himself in check. 

Anyway, we tell him to start, he has to write down everything that he eats for a week. Don't make any changes, just write down what you normally do. He works at WAWA ("fancy gas station" with a good bistro-like counter and coffee bar). We KNOW he gets food from there. We know he buys candy and brings it home because I have to unleash on him all the time about food wrappers in his room. We KNOW he does this stuff. We just need him to write it down so we can show him ACTUAL changes he needs to make. He doesn't need to lose weight, he was so under weight when he first moved in with me but is at a good weight now. However, he does need to make healthy changes. 

HE WON'T DO IT! He just keeps saying "I know what I ate. I can tell you now".-- I lost it this morning. He can't even remember to brush his teeth but he "remembers" every single thing he put in his face hole for a week?? Like we are going to believe that?? No one remembers EVERYTHING they ate for an entire week. Lord Help me. 

After I was done yelling, he said "Fine! I am not eating breakfast or lunch so I don't have to write anything down!" then got out of the car to go in to work. All I could think was HOW FREAKING STUPID ARE YOU!?!?!?! Of course I can't say that but ladies and gents... this is my life.

I need a freaking vacation. 



tog redux's picture

Just put him on meds. It's hard enough for non-autistic adults to change their diet. In general the meds are safe and the benefits likely outweigh the risk in his case. 

This is not worth the power struggle with this already challenging kid. 

justmakingthebest's picture

He is still on SO much. I worry about everything we put in him just for his moods. Once we start other things... I just worry. 

I really do love that butthead. I just want what is best for him LOL

tog redux's picture

I know. But this fighting is worse for him than statins. And it won't affect his mood or behavior. I've been on them for years with no issues. 

justmakingthebest's picture

I don't know... But I do know that even if he gets on medication for it, he still needs to make better food choices. If we can show him some of the areas to improve, I would think that it would help more than just pumping him with RX's and hoping that we can keep up with his bad choices. 

TheAccidentalSM's picture

I kind of get your SS's not wanting to write everything down but would he be more inclinded to do it if he could use an app?  There are apps that allow you to swipe the barcode of packaged food to add the item to a tracker.

justmakingthebest's picture

I get it too, he does have the fitness tracker on the phone to keep it all on an app. It's a pain in the butt to keep track of your eating.

However, at what point does he need to take responsibility and accountability for his own choices. If he isn't able to recognize that he needs to make life changes along with medication, it is only going to get worse for him. 

tog redux's picture

It's pretty hard to sell young adults on making healthy choices when they feel so fit and invincible. It's also typical for them to deny the need for any changes out of anger that they have to deal with something like that at such a young age.  And given his disability, it will be even more challenging for him to think long-term health vs. short-term gratification. Fully grown neurotypical adults have a hard time with that.

This will be an uphill battle, and honestly, he's an adult - it's his choice. You'd be better off making sure your home is free from junk food and that you guys cook healthy meals most of the time. The rest is up to him.

Crspyew's picture

Of everything he eats?  That might be easier than writing down and tracking thru the app.  He does need to make some better lifestyle choices because medication alone might not work and this is going to be a life long issue for him.

And your mention of WaWa made me nostalgic.  Before full time WFH  I stopped at WaWa almost everyday for coffee and lunch--they have great salad & fruit options.  And the place is so busy the food items turn over daily.  I was such a regular I got invited to the retirement party for the morning Coffee Bar manager.

classyNJ's picture

I don't have any words of wisdom, but love that you classified WAWA as "fancy gas station" with a bistro-like counter!  LOL  

Born and raised in Jersey, we panic when the WAWA is closed for remodeling or are in a part of the state that doesn't have one on every corner. 

They have added some wonderful salad selections to their menu as well as soups.

justmakingthebest's picture

LMAO! I hate telling people that don't have a WAWA that he works at a gas station, their faces always turn to HORROR! Like how could I let him work on the corner with bullet proof glass!

No, it is boujee as hell and he makes $14 an hour. Not bad for a kid that cleans up a coffee bar area! 

classyNJ's picture

Back in the 80's my part-time WAWA job paid my lab fees, books and part of my bills.  That was before they added the gas pumps. They used to be just convenience stores with the best deli meat!

Wilhelm's picture

I have taught autistic children . Usually they do not need to write anything down to remember. Some totally refused to pick up a pencil. He probably can tell you.

justmakingthebest's picture

He doesn't remember what day of the week it is, to shower or brush his teeth. He gets confused on when things happened in the past. He can't do this without writting it down.