You are here

I'm the "unfair" stepmom....maybe I'll make myself a nametag!

Justkeepswimming's picture

Uhhh, where do I start? Wow, we'll I'm 28, turning 29 in 2 weeks! I've known "the Daniels " for soon to be 7 years. Father and Son,same name, same birthday. My significant other and my stepson (almost 14). I myself have 2 girls, from 2 separate men. No children with Daniel. Both of us, have had a rough premarital status, where are exs used drugs, jail time, no priority for their children. So we have that in common, and have that subject to relate to each other on. That's pretty much it, for things in common. He is 40,and has been there and done that, every time. I feel we are both clingy to our children, and quite gaurded even after 7 years. The blending has been on and off. Seems to me, now that there is a teenager in the house, I'm am just a horrible stepmother. Everyday. Sides get taken, not mine! Fingers get pointed at me! And I do not love my stepson nor do I care...orrr treat him like I treat my 2 girls. Ughghhhh. Why?!?! What is it? !?! I do what I do, I don't change my plans , my attention or my attitude towards anything different. I feel like I'm expected to treat him differently, because he is a stepson!?! I'm overwhelmed . Trying to write it all is overwhelming too. Lol there is so much.

Comments

momjeans's picture

Oof. You’re too young to be dealing with a moody 14 year old.

Your SO (sorry, it’s inclear if you’re married or not) needs to parent his child. If you’re more than willing and eager to jump in and play Mom, then dad needs to back you up 100%. In not doing so, he’s showing his son that your home is a battleground, and you best believe that 14 year old will play both sides.

If you’re overwhelmed, back off a bit and refocus. There’s no virtue in putting other people’s children over your own.

Simpleton21's picture

Welcome to the site! Take others advice here. A lot of them have been at it a long time. I think the whole "you should put my kid above your kids" attitude is a common theme around here. I know that my SO and his crazy ex seem to think that I should treat my SD better than my own children. I refuse though. No child is more privileged or special than the other children! Read up on disengaging!