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Not so blended family

Julielynn.'s picture

If you look at my profile, you can read my bio.. for awhile now, I have been questioning my feelings about my DH.. he's a wonderful husband.. good person, wonderful father to his 3 adult sons, DILs, GKs... I have two adult sons, one DIL, and new baby granddaughter... my older son and wife and now baby girl live two hours away. When they come in, they always stay at her moms.. ( who is divorced and not remarried). I think they started doing that so my son didn't have to pick between meand his dad on where to stay. My other son lives close by. Two of my husbands sons, live far away and are here maybe twice a year. The middle son and family also live two hours away. Their mother lives three states over. So when the middle one visits, they always stay here. I resent that his son, wife and GD stay here and my kids don't. I'm also starting to feel a division that we do not share children together. It's causing me to question my feelings towards my husband. I was married before for 19 years. He cheated but is still the father to my kids... now we share a granddaughter. He is remarried to someone who was married before but never had kids. I'm a little jealous of the time I know she'll be spending with my new granddaughter.. as much as I hate to admit that. I guess my question is, are these feelings normal ?

Comments

JRI's picture

You say your son and wife always stay at her mother's.  I have 5 kids, 4 of whom have kids.  My BS and wife always treated the DL's mom as the alpha grandma, i realized that.wife always rules.  SD and SS treated their mom as alpha grandma.  The only time i was alpha was with my daughter who unfortunately lived out of town for awhile.  Long story short, it sounds like normal to me.

Kes's picture

I don't see any harm in asking your son, his wife and baby to stay at yours occasionally if you'd like them to.  You could say you'd really like more time to play with your granddaughter - and I bet her mother would probably appreciate a break from always hosting them?  

beebeel's picture

I don't know why your son's choices are changing your feelings toward your husband. How is any of this his fault? If you want your kid to visit more with you, talk to your kid.