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SS tries to be Passive Agressive

JSUK2020's picture

I'm not too angry or upset on this, but partly a rant. Adult SS lives with us and brought his two cats. Please note he said he'd be there for a few months, but to me it's bull cr*p as it's three years now.

So he doesn't work hasn't for two years but that's another story.

When I clean, I clean hard. I emigrated from UK to US recently, and the house has not been kept to my standards. Floors not cleaned properly, stairs not cleaned, one bathroom (which SS uses is disgusting, I refuse to clean it and take care of my ensuite and downstair loo). I have an eye for detail, and if it's not done right, I get stressed.

I currently work nights as part of my transition deal in my company to look after my Europe sites so basically work 1am till 9:30am CO time. I clean at the weekend,

My SS likes to state which cleaning products he uses, but I don't agree and use the ones I like. I hate lemon smell but that's my opinion. My opinion also is, his opinion doesn't matter until he can learn to clean properly. Would it be bad if I stated this fact/opinion?

I swear he thinks I'm stupid or something but I just ignore him as he doesn't do much and when he does it's substandard. He's 25 for christ sake. I have a lot of mini battles with him, I also want to state that he doesn't have to live there and it's up to him to change that and my husband is at the end of his tether (I'm letting DH lose his patience to be honest so he kicks him out and they don't speak again, my mistake was encouraging DH to reach out to SS about 4 years ago and I wish I hadn't, guess what they fell out over money so obviously going the same way again).

Before I emigrated (note SS was NOT part of our plans as he was moved out and an adult so i didn't sign up for this crap) my DH husband says SS pulls his weight but waving a cloth at a kitchen counter to me doesn't count. 

Any friendly advice, this is more of a rant, I know what our goal is and that's to see the back of SS eventually so my plan is to just carry on as I want to.

Comments

tog redux's picture

Well, as you said, the issue is that he needs to move out, period. Why has your husband been supporting this freeloader for 2 years before he got to the "end of his tether"? I'd be afraid his tether had 2 more years in it.

Ispofacto's picture

I'd stop cleaning and let the whole house go to sh!t.  Then your DH can see who was pulling their weight.

Stop cooking as well.  Making the meals is the least SS can do for free room and board.

Maybe making SS the household chore b!tch will give him an incentive to move out.

 

JSUK2020's picture

SS is moving to the UK! I really hope this works out and he is planning to take the cats with him. Then I can start to arrange to move my dog to the US. Fingers crossed he's out of my hair within 12 months. UK fiance visa's take 2-3 months to process and he's planning to propose at Christmas.

I'm actually happy about this, but my husband doesn't seem to understand how much I sacrificed to move there, one thing having to leave my beloved dog in the UK. 

I also banned any access to our money since my pay check started going in, and he was made to ask for pocket money from him. This made him go get some kind of work at least. He actually saved and went to see his girlfriend in the UK recently.

I'm excited to see how this pans out.