BM sent two video games this week for SS. Shipped them to us...No card or explanation from who one of them is from and of course it has every bad classification on the game. Sex, violence, you name it. My policy has always been that no more than three of these on the box after age 14. He is 14 and there are 6 on the game. DH agreed to go online and see what the reviews are on the game. He asked me if I agreed to let his decision stand. I said fine, thinking he would make the right decision...

Of course not, walked right into that one....Huge argument ensues and of course, I am told to stand down it is his kid. I called him a lazy parent. Told him at the very least he should watch him play the game for a half hour and at least confirm his decision...He did and came down later to tell me, they didn't use any of the language that the reviews stated and that he would probably not get to that level and it was probably no big deal. I am sure it was torture for him to sit in there. But, honestly, he just doesn't seem to care that all that kid does is play video games. I said all of that and basically told him he was a lazy parent that was letting the XBox raise him. So later when he had to go grocery shopping, he forced SS14 to go with him. Well maybe something I said got through.

He and I only seem to fight unless it is about BM, SD16 or SS. He is so frustrating to try and reason with. I think I have to go back to being disengaged again.

Saturday, he had lunch with SD16 for Christmas and then took her shopping for something on her list. Some curling iron. We had agreed he would spend about 25, he spent $35. I am thrilled he didn't go overboard out of guilt. He hasn't bought anything for her since she moved out. I absolutely do not think that girl deserves a thing.

Well we leave for vacation on Friday for a cruise that I am paying for. SD16 not invited. Just us and the two boys. I had a very emotional day Saturday. The shooting got to me and I had an Eagle Ceremony to attend that day and those are tearjerkers anyway. Well, I had the honor of reading "The Mother's Poem". I was a wreck. Also, earlier that day, we found out that my BS17 got into an Elite school here for Engineering. Huge emotional upswing and downswing that day. I don't even want to tell you how DH diminshed that accomplishment. "Well of course, he got in"...Ugh! Nothing is a given. My BS has worked so hard to have good grades and be well-rounded. DH just diminshes his accomplishments.

I had a "widow" moment after we called the grandparents to tell them the good news and kept thinking that there was someone else that I needed to tell. Figured it out about an hour later that I didn't feel complete, because I didn't get to tell his Dad. 11 years later and I still grieve.

So as I come back from the ceremony, DH pulls me aside to tell me that he figured out a way to save some money on our vacation. We could have SD16 watch one of the dogs. I swear, I think I saw Red. I looked at him and basically, said. Hell no, that is not going to happen. She is not mature enough to take care of herself, let alone my dog. I said yes, that is my dog. She walked out on her dog and left her two years ago. I am the one that spends all day with the dogs. Told him to not bring it up again, that this is a non-issue and I will not discuss it further. He told me fine, I had to pay half the kennel bill. See here is the breakout on our vacation. I paid for the cruise, he has to pay everything else. Gas, alcohol, dinners in the restaurants, excursions and anything the kids want on the boat. Obviously in agreement. The 6K that I paid for the cruise, will still exceed what he pays out. But, because it was my idea to do this, I am not being fair to him. We always do one big vacation with the kids and this is it. He was involved in all the discussions. Now, he is trying to cut spending on this. He is being a jerk. Money is not the issue. He just bought himself a flat screen TV which I paid half of. We split everything.

My personal feeling is he feels that because I wanted to do this because my son is going off to college in the fall, I should pay for everything. Also, I think because SD16 was clearly not involved in this, he is feeling guilty. Now that they are doing lunch once every three months, I should consider allowing her to take care of our dog?

So, even though we have full custody of SS14, this crap never ends. BM and SD still manage to irritate the hell out of me. I was doing so well at not being affected by them. I don't say anything about his lunches. I don't say anything about BM's dinners with SS once a month.

This whole situation is so pathetic. On a side note, SS14 if he gets through his exams next week will for the first time have no C's on his report card. After 1 year of full custody of him and 6 months of no regular visitation with BM, he got there. I know that is my encouraging and my son as an example, but I do not get involved with his schoolwork. DH does all of that, I just ask the occasional question about tests or studying.

I so need this vacation.