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Thinking divorce

jsmithdaniel's picture

Submitted by jsmithdaniel on Thu, 10/10/2013 - 6:02pm

After helping my husband raise his kids for 8 years in our home, the courts sent them to live with their mother. Im not going to lie, the last few years have been peaceful with only my 4 and 6 year old to focus on. Now two of his kids (15 and 16) are staying with us again. 1 was court ordered and the other was left by the BM. This "transition" has been hard as one is on a tether and the other, well honestly hes an asshole. The 16 year old, I can sort of deal with because he knows that he cant mess up, but the 15 year old has broken things, stolen things and has been an all around disturbance. Its gotten so bad that my husband has him taken to his sisters after school and he goes and gets him when he gets off work at midnight. However this is not enough because when he is around he causes all kinds of issues and refuses to listen, I refuse to let him be in my house with out my husband around. Now my husband has filed papers to get custody after we had agreed that as the BM technically is supposed to have him, he would be dropped off. I don't know what to do,again, I refuse to let him be around me because he is a worst influence om my kids that Miley Cyrus!!At this time, I feel that divorce is really the only option because I refuse to go back to the way things were with this child before he was sent to him moms.My husband keeps telling to to wait out the 1149 days until he turns 18, but I don't know if I can.Right now I'm at the point where he is the 1 and only thing that we argue about and the thought of him being in my house makes me unable to sleep at night. Any Advice?

Comments

oneoffour's picture

Submitted by oneoffour on Thu, 10/10/2013 - 6:26pm

There is no law that says you have to live in the same house. So either move into an apartment for 1149 days or tell DH to move into said apartment until his son is off his hands.

kathc's picture

Submitted by kathc on Fri, 10/11/2013 - 11:49am

Excellent idea. She and her own bios shouldn't have to leave their home, her DH should go find a little rat hole apartment to raise his brat in.

wckdpple100's picture

Submitted by wckdpple100 on Thu, 10/10/2013 - 6:39pm

Set expectations up front! Tell him you want him to live there but you want it to be pleasant for everyone and that there will be rules. If the rules are not followed the A, B, and C will happen. He is a crazy teenager and needs rules so that he can grow up to be a productive adult. Give him responsibilities. Make him do some volunteer work for a soup kitchen to let him know there are people that have a lot worse than he does. Sometimes they need to see that they don't have it bad. Believe me, I am going through a similar situation and it is causing me health issues as well as loads of stress. Laying down the lay helps a lot. Expectations up front are essential.

simifan's picture

Submitted by simifan on Thu, 10/10/2013 - 8:06pm

{{{{Hugs}}}} It sucks when someone doesn't have your back.

Just 1149 days and then what? he backs out on another deal you make? Tell him not to worry, he can call you for a date when SS moves out...if you're not remarried by then

DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Fri, 10/11/2013 - 9:31am

Sorry you are going through this! My DH says the same thing... only 3 more years Daizy (until skids are 18) but I just don't see it magically ending then. Yes, we will probably be able to put the majority of the BM nonsense to rest in 3 years, but the skids are always going to be around with their needy, greedy little hands out because those are the monsters that their BMs and DH have created.