Would snidely refer to me as "your girlfriend" to his dad. Even once we were engaged. The contempt in his voice spoke volumes. He was turning 40 at the time. 

Neither can evil or toxic.  Marianne's dipshit SD is an idiot beyond all idiots IMHO.  As well as self serving, manipulative and toxic.  That she is so self important that she would think that her father's wife should have to ask her permission to marry her father, or that her father should have to ask her if he can remarry says far more about how much of a shit she is than anyone should want to know. Add her designs on property she does not own, and what more should anyone invest in her besides scraping the shit that she is off of one's shoe?

IMHO.

Failed family progeny that would think that they are owed being asked if their split parents can remarry speaks volumes of the quality of that failed family coupling and the quality of the standards their failed mate parents raised them to.

I am a man, I initiated the relationship with my bride of 28+ years.  I did not know she had a 15mo old, though it was made clear almost immediately.  I told her before our first date to bring him along.  I would not exclude a toddler if I am interested in his mom.

No, I was not seduced. I asked her out to dinner. Neither of us were seduced.  We both engaged in our early dating life and it was off to our future together from there.  We were the Three Musketeers from our date

.

I have not had the "you stole my mom", "you broke my parents up", etc... crap to deal with.  SS has no memory of my DW and the Spermidiot together.  She booted the Spermidiot to the curb before SS was a year old. He had moved on to his next statutory rape victim and she caught him. So, she kicked him out.

I did not ask SS's permission to marry his mom.  It would not have mattered if he had been 10, or 15, or 20yo instead of a week short of 2yo.  I did not even ask my FIL. I asked my DW.  She said yes. 

No one else mattered.

First of all, they'd have to see their fathers as fully formed, individual humans. Secondly, they'd have to be able to think critically and independently of any PAS or other erroneous beliefs. Thirdly, they'd have to be emotionally healthy enough to apportion responsibility accurately, even when it's their own parent who's the "guilty party".

Nah, that's all too hard and uncomfortable. Easier just to blame the scheming witch who stole daddee away with voodoo vagina magic.

My MIL is still convinced that her father (in his early 60s at the time of his second marriage), was tricked into marrying again after her mother died, just so his second wife could get all his money. He was married to the second wife for 25 years and she was in the same age range as her father (so, not some 20 or 30 old who married the old guy hoping he'd die soon), and she took care of him until he died, but MIL will still tell all who will listen that she got money that was supposed to go to MIL (in her mind, anyway). Both her father and his second wife lived in assisted living for years before he died and second wife lived for 15 years after he died (also in assisted living / a nursing home), so it's likely all the money was spent. Second wife had no kids and MIL stopped speaking to her after her father died, but she still brings it up. When DH started in on it, I reminded him that they are assuming that his grandfather did not make a conscious decision to provide for his wife by leaving his assets. MIL grew up very privileged and well-taken care of, but cannot get over the supposed "inheritance" she missed out on. 

SD bragged to DH that I wasn't the first one to be engaged to him, and BM was. She even said BM still has the ring! DH told her point blank BM left him, refused to give the ring back and he found the love of his life (me). SD still thinks it was DH fault being brain washed and enmeshed with regretful toxic BM. 
Seriously though, why the eff even tell SD this story? 'Looook SD I still have the ring your dad gave me. It's my preciouuuus' *Golem noises*

Omg move on with your life BM!! 

Oh don't you know? BMs we're our DHs true and only real love, they are just with us for sex because we're gold diggers. They have to make up some evil intentions on our part to explain why the parents aren't together, even if they were split long before we were on the scene.

Like seriously, if I were a gold digger don't you think it would pay better to find a guy that doesn't lose a chunk of his pay to CS?

My SOs oldest daughter 21 had a blowup with him because he didn't talk to her about buying the house that he and I bought together 6 years ago. She actually was mad that she wasn't part of the decision.

DH chased me, but I'm still the jezebel home wrecker almost 20 years later. And, no, I was not part of DH's failed marriage. But because I knew him before their marriage ended certainly it had to be my fault. It gets old.

DH explains away their rudeness by saying he hurt their feelings when he divorced their Mom. That makes no sense at ALL.

SD cried when he told her we were getting married. At least he didn't ask her permission. 

I think there are usually a few things going on in cases like this.

1.  There is usually a force that is conspiring against the relationship.. maybe BM.. maybe other relatives.. even the guy's own mother can be "anti's".  It's easy for them to shade the dynamic against the new wife.. and it's easy for them to paint the narrative that the "new wife" is stealing their daddy.

2.  Kids do not.. even as they start to have their own relationships.. understand the complexities of relationships.. and the fact that their parents are individuals.. with their own hopes and dreams of life.  They are more than just "daddy".. and their purpose in life is more than to sacrifice all for their kids. That adult relationships are hard.. and staying together for the kids is often very difficult.. and your parents only have one life..and they deserve to be happy too.. but kids don't see that part of things.

3.  Sometimes parents treat their kids.. on a more equal dynamic.. which means they feel like they are entitled to weigh in on things.. like their parent's relationship... and that is often put in their heads by someone.. (see number one).

I think there are a lot of factors at play in these situations, and each SK who thinks this way picks and chooses which reasons (or is subconsciously informed by them).

While divorce rates are huge, we still live in a culture where monogamy is the gold standard and first "real" relationships should be "til death do you part". Society also views having kids as being THE most sacred thing two people can do, so marriage and relationships end up playing second fiddle to kids (see all the shotgun weddings and proposals that happen after someone gets knocked up). So when a lot of your media says "kids are #1, marriage is #2, and the first marriage only ends when both parties die" from the time you can pay attention to a TV show, it's super easy to see how kids take that in and use it to form their very first ideas of what family and relationships should be.

Now, toss in the portrayals of "not healthy" families and relationships. Stepmoms are evil but stepdads are put on a pedestal just for existing. The only people who cheat are men and it's always with someone younger just looking for a payday. Single moms end up poor and working themselves to death just to put food on the table because dad is a deadbeat who pays the bare minimum while living in a mansion with his new wife and baby, driving a $70k new truck.

All it takes is ONE parent upholding that narrative, even falsely, for a kid to internalize and solidify that. Hard not to when everything around you says that's how it always happens. Mom couldn't have cheated because women don't cheat! Mom and Dad HAD to be in love because they had me! My new SM HAS to be evil because my dad HAS to be a deadbeat and no one wants a deadbeat except evil people! My SF HAS to be awesome because he saved my mom from a life of poverty and he calls me Sport!

It's the same way you teach kids to be racist or sexist or prejudiced in some way. The adults have some ill-informed view of the world, they perpetuate that through their own world view, they reinforce it in kids, and kids grow up to repeat the cycle. Even in the face of contrary evidence, they'll hold that belief.

And the funny part is, they won't hold that belief for everyone. "Oh JRI (using you as the example since you mentioned it), you're one of the GOOD SMs! I know you personally and you'd NEVER be like my SM!" Sounds really similar to someone saying "Oh so-and-so, I'm fine with YOU being gay because you're not flamboyant like those OTHER gays."

By the time someone is an adult, they'll have to use their own critical thinking to break down their own prejudices against their SP. They also have to realize that even if their parents were still married that there was no guarantee that there would be anything to inherit if money is their driving factor. My MIL was bleeding my FIL dry while they were married. My mom and dad would have tit-for-tatted down to the last penny. ET would have continued to take out loans in DH's name and killed both their credit and drained his savings trying to stay afloat. Even when both parties are great with money management, all it takes is a bad market, a layoff, medical bills, long-term health problems - hell, even just living longer than expected - to kill any inheritance that might have existed. But, I think that is a separate issue from SKs. All kids need to pump the brakes on expecting inheritance from their parents.

Toxic Troll had her online men and swore that nothing was ever physical, until he made a "catfish date" with her.

So he kicked her out, and paid for her first month and deposit, and helped her move her stuff.

But she had a new boyfriend around the time we made things monogamous and official. Shes a total hypocrit in everything. She didnt want to meet me for the first two months, and so I did not meet the children the first two months of our relationship - that is until she moved one of her men in with her, THEN I could meet them.

Of course according to Sd23 Feral Forger, I "took" her father away from her from since the beginning. Sure.

They judge everybody by their own standards.  Meaning, if they married someone, it would be for financial gain, so anyone who marries has to be a predator, in their minds. 

Shortly after DH and I started dating, Satan tried to put the kabosh on our relationship.  She told him I was cozying up to him so I could get my hands on the crappy knick-knacks she still had stored in his house.  In the same conversation, she was also jealous that the two of us had enough funds to dine out together, and referred to me as his sugar momma.  DH and I are both educated professionals, we both make good salaries and live well within our means, whereas Satan only worked PT in retail.  I wasn't in the least bit interested in her crappy keepsakes.

Later in the relationship she tried to goad him into thinking we were codependent for spending time together.  She'd make stupid statements like, "What are you, joined at the hip??"  She was living with Mealticket strictly for his salary and she wasn't shy about admitting it.  She preferred to spend the least amount of time with him as necessary, and after the initial affair, she bragged to people that she was no longer required to have sex with him.  She seemed to assume this was normal.

The bottom line is, she cannot comprehend a relationship based on mutual affection, and companionship based on honesty, respect, and trust.  Everything is transactional in her world.

Also, to some extent, some of them believe woman don't bring anything to a relationship.  In their worlds, men are marks and women are gold diggers.  In reality, when we married I had six-figure net worth, all my children were grown, and I made a good living.  DH made a good living, but he was thousands in the hole, still paying CS, and had court costs and daycare expenses.  You can bet your sweet bippy Killjoy is not getting any of my pre-marital assets.  Whether she gets a portion of our joint assets is still undecided.