Any further advice for stepmoms or stepmothers (and step-dads) at weddings?
Okay. After getting burned at step-daughter's wedding and doing some research, I understand some things now, but not others: I get now that there is a total disconnect between what the bride/groom may be expecting at their wedding and what the step-mom is expecting. I see where the bride/groom’s thought is that they want their parents to be together on their wedding day and act 100% like their parents—just bio mom and bio dad as their parents. The bride/groom expect that somehow the step mom is supposed to just know that she is to stay completely out of the way, not sit with her husband, be in any pictures, etc. And, then, when step mom doesn’t do that or acts upset or confused because she has no clue that she’s NOT supposed to act like she is married to her husband, she’s the one made out to be the problem, when in reality the step-mom just wants to be with her husband, like any wife would. Okay, I get that. BUT, what I don't get is the total lack of awareness that bio-dad and step-mom are even married, even if it has been for years. I mean, it is usually adults getting married, correct? Just trying to figure out how step-kids/adults about to become a couple themselves could even think that it would be okay to leave the step completely out of any pictures at their wedding, for instance. Spouses of bio-mom and bio-dad belong in at least a couple pictures not because of their relationship to the bride or groom, but because of their relationship/being married to bio-mom or dad. After all, how would the bride and groom feel if after they were married, they went to an event and only one of them were allowed to be in any “family” photographs? Wouldn’t feel good. And, Hello!, if dad is contributing to the wedding, so is stepmom. Whatever money dad contributes, both stepmom and dad will have to make up for by eating less that month, etc. They are a married couple, and their incomes are combined, just like the bride and grooms will be after they are married. ANYWAY, anyone have any further insight? Maybe I'm overthinking it? :?