My BF and I have been together for almost 2 years and have an almost 1yr old daughter I also have a BD8, and a BS4. BR has a son13, and a daughter7. BF and SS(he lived with dad) moved in a year ago. A day after I got home from the hospital with our newborn baby, SD came to stay with us for 2 weeks(she lived with BM). I wasn't too impressed but bit my tongue.
After not having a schedule for his kids, I finally snapped when baby was 2mths. I was tired of not knowing how many kids were going to be picked up at school, how much to make for dinner, how to make plans as a family etc. BF talked to his ex and they came up with a 4 on 4 off schedule which works great. My kids live with us full time as the dads aren't involved at all.
I've had many battles in the last year with both Bf and his kids, my kids by no means aren't perfect but I have raised them to be poilet and have respect for people and things. Both Ss and SD have learning disabilities, which makes doing homework a battle, SD at least wants to learn and is eager to get her homework done, SS is not, he will make every excuse as to why not to or has no homework. SD is probably the messiest kid, this partly due to the fact that her parents let her and did the cleaning for her, I do not. She doesn't care for her stuff and has the mindset if it gets broken I can just get a new one. I DON'T THINK SO! I feel bad giving SD my BD hand me downs, and giving my BD new stuff.
SS is lazy! He attempted to spend all summer in his room playing on the playstation. When BF decided to move the playstation to the livingroom, SS cried like a baby. Getting him to try to do a chore to earn allowance money almost isn't worth the hassle. I usually have to go behind him and redo what he did, so what's the point of having him do it in the first place???
And The BM of the Skids...OMG where do I begin??? When she had SS she wan't the best of parent, and then when she got prego with SD, she practically pushed her son away cause she had the little girl she always wanted, and her Mom did the same. So this has had a pretty negative effect on SS on the way he treats women. I want to try and make up for the way his mom and gramma have treated him, but at the same time I don't want Sd to think I;m treating her brother any different than her:S
Needless to say this has been the hardest year of my life, when I was a single mom, I was much happier and less let down.