Why does my stepdaughter have to be such a pain???
Well my SD has decided not to come over for pretty much the last month due to us grounding her for bad grades. You see, her mother is wonderful and let's her do whatever she wants. So therefore she doesn't get punished and can still be a cheerleader and still do all of her fun stuff she gets to do. My husband calls her and goes over to see her every now and again, but she hasn't come home with him yet. She told me a couple weeks back that she wasn't coming here until she gets to do what she wants. I mean her mother lets her do whatever she wants, so why can't we let her do whatever?
Now my biological daughter's b-day is coming up and of course my SD wants to come because we are going somewhere fun. I just know as soon as that is over, then my SD will not come back over again until there is something fun to do.
Today my best friend who incidentally has a daughter in my SD's class told me that she is now calling her stepfather "dad" and that he takes better care of her than her own dad. I guess getting a cell phone for her and ringtones helped out a lot to elevate him to "dad" status. My SD one day will learn that not everybody gives you what you want all the time. She is going to be very surprised when her so called mother isn't there to support her butt when the child support doesn't come in anymore.
I am so tired of all this drama of whether she'll come back or not! She has her own room here at my house that has been empty
while I have my office in my bedroom and it is cramped! I told my husband that it's not going to be much longer and she can sleep in my biological daughter's top bunk and I will be using that space for my office! My husband is not very happy about that, but I told him that she has disrespected me and him. I think I have the right in my own house to make that decision! I have been in my SD life for 10 years now and have known her since she was little. (She's 14 now). I have loved her like my own and treated no different than my own biological daughter. Thank goodness my SS is a good boy! At least he's still coming over.
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What's wrong with ..
I honestly don't understand what is wrong with teenagers when they seem to have this sense of entitlement. This happened seldom when we were growing up. I mean, teenagers are from another planet and all, but seriously the entitlement stuff is ridiculous! My SD16 has the same problem, thinks she's entitled to anything/everything she wants. Of course, BM's do not help this issue either, giving them everything they want. My SD wants a cell phone and we have told her not until she can drive, which of course won't happen until she gets a job and this wont happen either because she's too good to work at most places that will hire a 16 y/o. Anyway, she said BM would get her one. Since we have full custody, we told her fine, but if we find out about it and it comes in our house, we will destroy it.
I would clean ut her room and have my office in the room. It is just wasted space, DH is obviously catering to her. I also would tell her that if she can't be a part of our family then she cannot participate in our family activities, too bad if it hurts her feelings!
sd
"I think I have the right in my own house to make that decision" You most certainly do have the right to make that decision. I would switch the room without thinking twice. I've been told its easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. Afterall, how much time does she actually spend in that room compared to how much time would you would spend in there if it was your office?
I would think all 14 yo people are for sale and thats basically what the SF is doing. All 14yo people will also use you for a good time in a heartbeat, but only if you let them. If she only wants to come over when there is a party going on don't invite her that weekend. People can't be used unless they volunteer for it.
If she continues with the grades like they are you won't have to worry about college expenses, but then if she is uneducated how long do you support her when she can't support herself?
Here here!
On the teenage for sale part for sure. And that is what makes this blended stuff so impossible. Because it seems there is usually a parent who likes to buy their child's love and one who is trying to prepare their child for the real world who gets tossed aside by the kid. I mean, don't these Disney parents know that their children will turn into adults who use people, or let themselves be used if it means a profit?
Peace, love, and red wine
Her BM is the biggest reason she is the way she is!
Of course our biggest problem in this whole thing is really the BM. That is the whole reason that my SD is the way she is. I mean what teenager wouldn't want to get their way all the time? I sure would have liked that when I was a teenager! My parents would NEVER have let me act like that and I would have been grounded forever had I decided that I had to have my way. But then again, I didn't have two families I could bounce back and forth from. So when she doesn't want to deal with us, she knows her mom will let her do whatever the heck she wants.
As far the bad grades go, I will certainly not be the one supporting her ass when she's an adult. I say if the BM makes the monster she can support the monster! Since my SD already knows everything, I think she can take care of herself. I mean she can't go both ways with that one.
I know my husband is so sad over everything that has been happening and he is actually decently supportive. But of course this is his daughter and he doesn't want her not coming over. So he'll have to learn that pandering to her won't do any good. I know that he won't let her disrepect me or him directly. But the things said and done behind our back, I don't know if he'll say anything to her about that.
I am going to wait out the room situation a little bit longer, because I need to let my anger die down a bit and give it some time. My husband will not be happy if I pack up her things and move her into another room so I can have my office, but that's not my main concern in all of this. I just need to calm down about things first and then make a decision. I think that if she does not come over for even one day of our visitation after my BD b-day party next weekend, that her stuff is getting packed up. My SS has a smaller room than her too by the way. I would gladly take his room for my office and let him have her nice big room we supply for her! He at least is appreciative of the things we do for him and he treats me like I am his mom!
Is it to late for an abortion (teenagers)
They learn to manipulate from the time of birth - cry give a bottle - stop crying satisfied, cry - give a bottle..... cry give cry give, see a pattern? HHMMMMM< I might try this?
Life of convenience !!!!
Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!
They do....
And I gotta say, I've learned a LOT since BS 13. BS 10 and BD 2, understand already that no means no. I had actually accomplished a lot with BS 13 regarding this, so much that DH was impressed at how little my sons asked for at a store when we met.
SD was pacified at every store they took her to, even Home Depot with candy. I am so sad to see BS 13 has taken up asking again over and over and over. It's exhausting.
BUT...The two younger don't push me. No means no. Not ask me one hundred times or for 20 other things in hopes that I will cave like BM does for SD.
The kids all got ipods from their other parents for Christmas. They have been nothing but another electronic pain in my arse. I am ready to tell them that they stay at the parents home who bought them. The kicker is that the schools don't tell them not to bring them. So the kids tote them around constantly. Also, BM has set up an account for SD so she can download tunes from either house, and like everything else, SD is obsessive about it. Just wants more and more and more. I am always hearing her ask the boys, "How many Gigs is YOUR ipod? How many songs do you have? I have x number of songs!"
It's all quantity over quality. I can remember growing up and coveting a certain album, saving for it, etc. None of that delayed gratification exists anymore.
Peace, love, and red wine