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Is it just me????

jembil's picture

Submitted by jembil on Wed, 05/21/2014 - 8:44am

I have recently moved in with my partner. He has 2 sons, 11 and 10. They stay with us more than 50% of the time. Even on days when they stay with their BM, they seem to spend the evenings with us and just go back to her's to sleep. I feel like it doesnt matter what I try to arrange for myself and my partner, they always get in the way. He is obsessed with them. He wont ever ask the mum to run them to soccer practice or school clubs etc so we can do something together. It always has to be him. I actually feel more lonely being in this relationship than when I was single.

I have tried talking to my partner about this, but it always ends up in a huge row. The most recent one is cause he has decided to do a summer holiday just him and his 2 sons. I can sort my own out apparently.

I'm at my wits end. I do love him but I just dont know what to do.

Comments

HBASM's picture

Submitted by HBASM on Wed, 05/21/2014 - 9:28am

Hi There,

I agree, it will never change in fact only gets worse. My husband and I have his kids 99.9% of the time. Their mom lives a few hours away and they live with us because she remarried and her husband didn't want the schlep of step kids. His so lucky!!!! So, they only go over for Christmas holidays, which is all he can tolerate of them (and I know why).

I've had them get in the way of everything for the last 5 years. i.e. Conversations, Dates, Birthdays, Valentines day, alone time, you name it, they just don't care. They are now 14 and 12 and still act as though they are 9 and 7. In fact they are worse to a point my husband and I do not speak to each other because they just hear me speak to him or hear me laugh with him and there they are cutting in to have their own conversations or moaning about a headache etc. I blame my husband for this. So, I've just cut myself off from all of them including my husband and I'm moving out in about 30 days and I never want to see any of them again. Being a stepmother has ruined my life and taken all the love and light I had inside of me away. My zest for life is just gone and I've decided to find it again without any of them to hang a dark cloud over me anymore.

I wish you all the best and I do hope you do not end up like me. I once loved my husband so much and now I just want to run as far away as I can from him.

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Wed, 05/21/2014 - 9:33am

" I once loved my husband so much and now I just want to run as far away as I can from him."

Ain't it the TRUTH!!!????