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Taking SD to extracurriculars

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So DH attempted to guilt trip me with how it's my fault that SD cant do every single extracurricular that she might want to (and she doesnt even want to do them so I dont know why this needs to get brought up in the first place). He said that if I wont bring her to them then he would have to take work off or bring her to a daycare that will bring her to them. I then pointed out that that is the exact same situation it would be if I wasnt around at all so obviously it has absolutely nothing to do with me.

So much for a break.

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I was so excited to have a week and a half SD free. But of course theres still been drama about her by proxy. MIL creating issues where there were none which led into a big fight between DH and I (see last 2 blogs). Also BM keeps messaging me unnecessarily. Also the fight with DH it turned out that I was right and he had assumed that my disengagement and talking about her less meant that her behavior had improved and we were starting to become a happy family.

DH admits to guilt parenting!

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Following a very long discussion after DH being guilt tripped by his mom (see last blog) DH actually admitted that some of his behavior is guilt driven and also being driven by the need to prove himself. SD is with us 50/50 and does ALOT of fun stuff on the weeks she is with her mom. Every single weekend is a short trip, going to the zoo, a movie etc. I recently took my ODS who only has me as a biological parent to a movie also. It was the first time I've been able to do something with just him and I since my youngest was born (9 months).

More drama started by MIL

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SIL in different state sent gifts for the kids and we sent videos of my 2 BS opening theirs and saying thank you. SD is at her moms yet and therefore hasn't opened hers. My DH told SIL this. Well MIL messages DH saying that SIL said she received videos of the boys opening their presents and was all upset that SD wasnt included. She KNOWS that SD is at her moms. DH sent her a screenshot of what he said to SIL where it clearly stated that SD would be back. MILs response was "well dont shoot the messenger." The messenger? Uh you're the one attempting to create an issue. 

Anyone else's SO still scared of BM?

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Does anyone else have a DH that is still somewhat scared of BM? Alot of times when BM messages me (its ended up being me and her doing most of the communication now since I'm physically with SD more and it's less drama) his first thought alot of time is still being afraid shes going to throw a fit about the response sent. 

BM coming to get SD 2x a week

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BM wants to come to our house twice a week to bring SD to gymnastics and then drop her off again right before bedtime. SD has never expressed any interest in gymnastics but my son goes to physical therapy at the gym it's at once a week so I guarantee that's what spurred it. Would you be fine with having to deal with BM showing up at your house 2 nights a week? Or do you have a situation where you have to?

My reindeer loves me

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So SD had to write about an imaginary reindeer for school. The last part of the paper said What is special about my reindeer is: and SDs answer was "Her love for me. She cares about me." I wish it was just a school paper, but that pretty much sums up her whole outlook on life. Other people exist to worship her and they dont have anything special about them or even thoughts or feelings themselves. Everyone exists to give her attention and that's it.

Skid week again - goals

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Well its skid week again. This week I'm trying to just focus on myself and keep busy instead of letting myself be annoyed by SD/DH. Hoping to make it through the entire week without ending up irate at some point. My 8 month old has decided he hates sleeping and I also found out I'm pregnant again already so my tolerance is going to be even lower than usual for dealing with crap. 

I have yet to have a tolerable week with skid

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After over 2 months of attempting to disengage (so 4 or 5 weeks with SD here) I still haven't been able to not get worked up about something or other skid related by the end of the week. Theres so many little stupid things that add up that by the end of the week with her here I'm just done. And I'm so over watching DH act like a weak scared little boy when it comes to her. Also the constant excuses that make actually no sense. Oh shes taken an hour to eat a chicken strip and 5 tater tots? It's because she went to the dentist a month ago and got a filling.

Hoping for the best this week

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SD comes back after school today and it's also Thanksgiving week. Which means 3 extra days off from school that I have to spend with her and one of those days also with in laws. Sigh. Trying to talk myself up that it's not going to be that bad.

On a somewhat related note, BM messaged me this weekend basically asking me to be her free babysitter for Christmas vacation because most of it falls on her week. Um no. Just no.

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