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SIL is not a skid but similar behavior

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So I have a SIL who is in her 30s and left her husband about a year ago. She apparently has a long history of being financially irresponsible and leaving others, particularly her parents to clean up the mess for her. MIL enables it and complains but is obviously also loving being the enabler because she likes having her kids depend on her still and being over involved and "important" in their lives. 

MIL announced pregnancy for us

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So MIL took it upon herself to post our pregnancy announcement picture on Facebook before us. We havent had a chance to tell my family in person yet so I'm annoyed because they're going to hear about it in the morning most likely since my moms coworker is also MILs cousin. Its partially DHs fault because she asked if she should not say anything and he said it's fine but still...isn't it common sense to let the parents announce it on social media?

The new version of "you just hate my kid"

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Dh used to pull the you just hate my kid line all the time. Now that has evolved to "you just don't want me to do anything with her" and after our argument last night "you just don't want me to take her to her doctor appointment."

Seriously I'm so sick of expecting our whole family life to cater around SD and have that crap thrown in my face when i ask for her to be equal to other kids or reasonably assert my own wants. Hes acting just like BM does to him.

The double standards never end

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We only have one vehicle working essentially due to the extreme cold. DH has a work project he needs to turn in Thursday afternoon. I needed the vehicle tmrw to take my son to his psychiatrist appt that keeps getting rescheduled and theres a few things that need to be addressed asap and he was obviously annoyed by that. SD has a yearly check up Thursday morning that DH had scheduled a year ago. So essentially he would need to leave work 2 days in a row for both appts. Guess which appt was deemed more important and which one was rescheduled? Of course it was SD.

SD gone most of the week

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So SD is with her mom on mondays right now, plus today and tomorrow she is stuck there because of the weather and school being cancelled. And then this weekend she is staying with the in laws so basically shes only here two days this week! I'll get to see what having just a weekend skid is like Haha. 

I'm sure MIL will end up making up for that by causing extra drama related to SD this weekend. Especially since we're announcing that we're expecting another and she will want to take the joy out of that and put the focus back on SD, but oh well.

Supper isn't good enough unless dad serves it

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So SDs latest form of passive aggressiveness regarding me is refusing to eat if I'm the one that puts supper on the table. We generally meal prep for the whole week so it's the same food for at least several days in a row. On the days I have served it this week it ends up snuck in the garbage after she sits at the table moving it around on her plate for 20 min. On the day DH served it it was all eaten and she made sure to go out of her way to let him know it was all eaten. Guess I should serve dinner every night.

BM is a weirdo

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So this is going to be a hard to explain in writing but...BM insisted out of nowhere that SD needs to be in gymnastics and that she would even come pick her up once a week from our house to get her. This is way out of character for BM, normally she is trying to do as little as possible. So I knew something was up and suspected that she wanted to look good to her BF and that her BFs kid was also going. 

DH cant let go of the fantasy

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Every week its the same. SD is gone for the week and DH expects that theres a clean slate and I'm completely over anything that's ever happened with her and this is the week that we are going to turn into a happy loving family. If I'm not actively complaining - which I'm doing much less of since I'm on here and disengaged more - he assumes that means things are turning around. It's getting old. She was difficult to get along with and like at only 4 years old, why would he think that's going to get better?

More side effects of disengaging

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So my not discussing anything with DH and avoiding SD for the most part and not getting involved with things that dont effect me or my son directly has had 2 effects that are irritating:

1. Husband took me not talking about her as a sign that she is all better and we are on the road to being a happy family now. Cue the gushing about SD over nothing that I have no interest in hearing. Dh cant take silence or lack of response as a hint that I'm not interested.

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