You are here

Why SD needs to live at BMs

Jcksjj's picture

For a recap: BM flipped out randomly and said DH needs to go to therapy because SD said he doesn't spend enough time with her. And now she can only be here 1 weekend a month (oh darn). 

SDs version of why she wants to be there: our house is boring, she has a better tablet there with more games and a texting app.

I guess letting her do whatever she wants all day just wasn't good enough. Sorry, DH.



strugglingSM's picture

Oh, yes, I too live in a "boring" house with a DH who "doesn't spend enough time" with overly dramatic SS. This must be from the HCBM playbook on how to prove to the world that you are the only worthy parent, especially because it's "the children" who are saying these things and for children to say these things about their own father, well, he really must be a terrible person. Mind you, on BM's weekend, my SSs are either home alone or staying at a friend's house, so she's not exactly spending time with them and her home is apparently not as exciting as other homes, but who's counting.

I had it out with overly dramatic SS when he loudly complained that DH was "ruining" his (SS's) weekend by having the nerve to work on some project that had to be done at the family cabin. I then had it out with DH abs have skipped all trips to the family cabin since then. SS is plenty old enough to help DH, whose memories of the cabin are primarily centered on doing work projects with his dad or going off to fish or explore by himself....but for some reason, SS needs to have his hand held and be entertained the entire time or DH will hear from BM how DH should care more that SS was bored. Give me strength!

Jcksjj's picture

Yep, the BMs need to be in control and keep their kids (and themselves via the kids) the center of everything.

Dogmom1321's picture

Yes! BM also blames DH when he brought up why SD doesn't want to come over. "Well your wife gets all of the attention and you don't spend enough time with SD"

*eyeroll* We invite SD to hangout and spend time with us, but she locks herself with electronics up in her room. She hates socializing and doesn't have any friends in our neighborhood. SD distaste for our house has nothing to do with "spending time" with each other, but doesn't like that she has BASIC rules over here. No food in room, a bedtime, etc. 

I feel like there is PAS going on. It's sad to watch DH through it all. I think when SD gets older she may ask to live with BM and idk if DH would fight it or not if that's what she wants. 

Jcksjj's picture

Yep, that sounds exactly like our situation. And haha at "your wife gets all the attention." Makes it pretty obvious what the real issue is huh? BM can't move on or handle being replaced.

Wicked stepmo.'s picture

And even if DH gave her what she wanted, there would still be another excuse for why she doesn't want to come.

Jcksjj's picture

Yeah, its always gonna be whining for one thing or another. All she wanted to do is sit in her room on her tablet. She gets to do that and now it's boring and that's somehow DHs fault. 

tog redux's picture

I know you are happy with this decision, but does DH not have a CO? Why does a kid get to decide this?

Jcksjj's picture

No he doesn't. I agree, letting a kid decide that is absolutely insane. That type of of thing is a big part of why she has so many issues - she's spoiled rotten and thinks the world revolves around her because she's been taught that it has.