Today's petty annoyance/why disengagement is necessary

A few months ago DH and myself both told SD at different times not to change outfits multiple times a day because it was creating a ton of extra laundry to do unnecessarily (which I'm sure if you have a bigger family like we do you can relate to the laundry struggle).

Today MIL brought back SD and mentioned that she told her she could wear the same pjs for more than one night at her house because they weren't dirty. SD responded that she wanted to make more laundry so dad (supposedly but she knows I do most of her laundry so I doubt it was actually dad) had to do it sooner. MIL thought this was the cutest most hilarious comment, not really sure why. Stupid things like this are why I avoid dealing with her as much as possible - cant ask even the smallest simplest thing without the information being manipulated into a way to be passive aggressive and a power struggle.

This combined with how much less angry/annoyed I've felt not having to deal with her as much makes me realize I need to arrange my life so I can disengage further. I think I'd be much happier if I can arrange that and it's not like SD has any desire to connect with me either so whatever.

Her greeting to us when she got back was nice also - walks in and goes to DH YOU need to buy me a bike helmet in the snottiest, bossiest, most entitled voice ever. Sounded exactly like MIL talking to DH blech.

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UGH

this was a flashback for me when YSS stb 7 stuck his stubby finger in my face and DEMANDED that I get him some ice cream....STAT (he didnt say "stat")

I "reminded" him that kids don't boss adults around (although they do at the Gir's house and Chef did his fair share of step 'n' fetch)

The older ferals chimed in and OSS 11 said "he's got to WORK on that."

I immediately retorted "no this should have been FIXED three years ago."

All out of earshot of Chef.

I cant remember exactly what

I cant remember exactly what she said but I remember a long time ago telling SD not to use that tone of voice with me and she responded with "well that's just how I talk." Bratty entitled attitude courtesy of BM, encouraged by MIL and enabled (at least in front of others) by DH.

"Not in MY house...

you don't"

Case closed. Chef's ferals are as bratty as they come.

I responded with something

I responded with something along of the lines of "then it needs to change"

Amazing though how she already had the ability to talk in a much nicer voice when shes putting her act on for others.

Time to make DH do SD's

Time to make DH do SD's laundry.

Yep. Before she shared a room

Yep. Before she shared a room with ODS and they both threw their clothes in the same basket so I did it all together. Now that we've moved and they have separate rooms I'm done doing hers.

Funny thing is we were just at walmart this weekend when DH brought up we could just grab a bigger laundry basket for them to both throw their stuff in - nope.

‘Sorry DH, SD’s laundry is

‘Sorry DH, SD’s laundry is all yours!’ Disengage from this kid in as many ways as physically possible. I’d go so far as to not ever have her around when DH isn’t around. She sounds horrible.

Dont even tell DH to do SDs

Dont even tell DH to do SDs laundry...just do what is yours and leave her shit in a basket, dirty. She can rewear it

I'm on the same page. I wasnt

I'm on the same page. I wasnt planning on saying anything, just not doing it. I already know the message wont get through to DH - he will just think I'm singling her out and being mean and then feel like father of the year for doing a simple task a couple times a month for her. Oh well at least it's one less way for her to be passive aggressive towards me.

Disengagement = not washing

Disengagement = not washing anyone’s clothes but yours, with the exception of DH’s. Though, washing your DH’s clothes can be a case by case situation, depending on how he treats you in regards to doing SD’s.

Disengagement also includes Gray Rocking the hell out of MIL. Her ideas, opinions, and what she finds humorous don’t mean squat to you.

Trying hard to gray rock MIL

Trying hard to gray rock MIL - it helps that I normally don't show a ton of emotion to start lol. Right now shes really been sucking up and it starts to make me feel a little guilty even though I know what shes like. But she still has to get in the little passive aggressive comments here and there.