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There may be hope, steptalkers

Jcksjj's picture

I joined this site nearly a year ago now after being ready to lose my mind after dealing with SD all summer. It was slow going - but there finally seems to be some lasting improvement now. And shockingly something seems to have clicked for DH in regards to the guilt parenting (knock on wood). I was dreading SD being here this week because I was afraid that DH wasnt going to follow through in the talks we had had about our issues and guilt parenting, acting like SD was the center of the family and catering to her at the rest of our expenses. Not only has he been completely following through on it, but interestingly he seems to be annoyed with SD about the same things I usually get annoyed about and he would ignore. Which makes me wonder if it was just an act and he was always actually annoyed by the same stuff as me? 

Regardless, even though SD is actually back to being snotty and not really wanting to listen again (it had been less for a few months, no idea what triggers the behavior changes), it's actually much more tolerable when DH isnt acting like an idiot about it.

Comments

Thisisnotus's picture

yay!! That makes me so hopeful. haha.

I can tell you that without a doubt that my DH is so totally annoyed by SD16's shitty entitled behavior....it's all over his face and body language. He just can't bring himself to parent her or voice anything......guilty dads can't do it. So it's yes honey this and that. BARF

NotSoStepStepmom's picture

My DH notices SD’s issues more and more the older that she gets and he doesn’t tolerate any crap. He still has his moments, but for the most part, he handles things pretty well. With all of the dysfunction and problems that SD’s narcissistic BM and psycho grandmother have brought into my life, I absolutely would not be here if my DH and I were not on the same page.

blessedwithstress's picture

*applause* So happy for you that your DH is coming around and showing signs of understanding. I hope it continues! 

Doublehelix's picture

"Which makes me wonder if it was just an act and he was always actually annoyed by the same stuff as me?"

His tolerance may be higher, but unless he is a robot, there is no way he is never annoyed! Bioparents just feel guiltier about admitting it. Esp in blended families there's the added component of trying to prove to stepparents that their kids are "not that bad" and they have everything under control...hahaha 

Happy for your win - enjoy it!!