There may be hope, steptalkers
I joined this site nearly a year ago now after being ready to lose my mind after dealing with SD all summer. It was slow going - but there finally seems to be some lasting improvement now. And shockingly something seems to have clicked for DH in regards to the guilt parenting (knock on wood). I was dreading SD being here this week because I was afraid that DH wasnt going to follow through in the talks we had had about our issues and guilt parenting, acting like SD was the center of the family and catering to her at the rest of our expenses. Not only has he been completely following through on it, but interestingly he seems to be annoyed with SD about the same things I usually get annoyed about and he would ignore. Which makes me wonder if it was just an act and he was always actually annoyed by the same stuff as me?
Regardless, even though SD is actually back to being snotty and not really wanting to listen again (it had been less for a few months, no idea what triggers the behavior changes), it's actually much more tolerable when DH isnt acting like an idiot about it.